The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Visitor for Mr Edmonds is presumably the sound of beardy’s career/heart monitor wobbling and fading. To date, the composition has not reduced him to the same state of (de)composition as writing about Messrs Hull, Fisher, Jackson, Gerulaitis etc. Oh well. As there’s not much else to say, perhaps I can encourage you all to visit Word magazine’s attempt to revive Peely’s Festive Fifty, and vote for your favourite CSI:Ambleside selection!

Nove On The Sly appears to refer to listening to newsreader, “voiceover artist” and easy-listening DJ called Charles Nove. On the sly, of course. The song is also a chance for the band to make a song in an electro-style, as it’s about all that sort of malarkey.

There are many people referenced in Half Man Half Biscuit songs who’ve died - well, you’d expect that through natural attrition - but when many of them pass away unexpectedly, you begin to hope you never get one written about you. (”Rod Hull is Alive - Not”?). Anyway, when the fantastical Ballad Of Climie Fisher was written, including the line “You’re a Dead Man, Fisher”, who was to guess that Mr Fisher would be just that, within months, aged 39? For the more masonically inclined, the stone referred to as “Canterbury Spur” is actually called “Canterbury Spar”.

What a great concept (”a true story” claims Nigel, live) - a bloke sharing his innermost thoughts with a bloke called Edward instead of his “sweet darling”. Tending The Wrong Grave For 23 Years is a wonderful song, although I suspect there might be one or two discussions around some of the minutiae on this one.

Excuse me for getting a bit excited, but every now and then you come across a Half Man Half Biscuit song which you’d sort of forgotten about, and which turns out to be brilliant. And Thy Damnation Slumbereth Not fits into that category. It’s the A Country Practice or National Shite Day of Cammell Laird Social Club and it contains so many great references, I don’t know where to start. So I won’t, I’ll just let you get on with it.

Ready Steady Goa is a relative obscurity from Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral in which Nigel justifiably drops scorn on students heading eastwards for spiritual enlightenment.

As it’s the hundredth song on the site, of course we ought to do a commensurately high profile one. So here’s the original album version of Twenty Four Hour Garage People from 2000, since which there have been almost as many versions as live performances. My, how the price of Pringles has varied over the years.

I haven’t done any of the real oldies for what seems like ages! Anyway, I Was A Teenage Armchair Honved Fan is another homage to eastern European football, which I just rediscovered when listening through to the delightful complete Peel sessions stuff (complete with Peel!) which, if you haven’t heard it, is here, all 48 tracks from Ted Moult to Oven Gloves. Enjoy.

Secret Gig has always been a bit of a favourite of a lot of people, despite (or perhaps because of) it being so straightforward and simple. Single subject and all that. Also, it’s great live.

OK, if only to distract attention from arguments about “elms” and “alms”, let’s have another one which is going to encourage some wild speculation. Children of Apocalyptic Techstep is one of those songs where the guitar is occasionally just a bit too forward in the mix for the lyrics analysts. Odd song this, even the hmhb site doesn’t have too much to say about it.