The only thing growing faster than the number of blogs on the internet is the number of blogs quoting Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics. At this rate, we’ll have a Half Man Half Biscuit lyrical event horizon about 2032 where nothing else is ever published.

Trouble is, like darts in soap operas, most of them are so wrong. So with too much time on my hands, obviously, I’ve been trying to rectify the situation, and not only build a complete set of lyrics, but actually get them right (with a lot of help from the comments and corrections of many people, for which I thank you). It’s originally took just over three years, then we’ve had a new album since, and let’s hope the job is never finished.

For proper explanations of the varied references which make Half Man Half Biscuit’s lyrics so unique, I’ll direct you immediately to Gez’s HMHB site, which has everything else apart from the lyrics. And if you’re a newbie to the band, although there’s a Wikipedia article on Half Man Half Biscuit, there’s a superb 2011 article by Taylor Parkes on The Quietus which might be the best place to start.

Finally, of course these lyrics are the copyright of the songwriters, and if they have any objections to this non-profit-making site, please contact me and I’ll remove the offending material immediately.

Chris Rand
September 2007 – December 2011
Email me
(Disclaimer: I have a friend with a son called Archie, and another with a son called Fred. I have been caught wearing a footy shirt over a jumper. I’ve bought soup in cartons. And I know who PFM are. But I do live quite near Chatteris. Which is nice. You can judge me on my musical taste if you wish right here.)

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