Half Man Half Biscuit: Bogus Official

Bogus Official

I’m the man that you need on the day that it rains
I’m the wiser advisor on capital gains
I’m the lowlife pretending to look at your drains
I’m a bogus official
Don’t let me in

I’m the police, I’m the clergy, I’m Measures and Weights
I’m the chap doing the survey on alley gates
I need to know where you’ll be on the following dates
‘Cos I’m a bogus official
Nice dress

Courteous, friendly, jolly, and fat
With a smile saying, “Look, I know it’s under the mat
I don’t give a fuck about your missing cat”
B-O-G-U-S official

Comments and corrections?

News, Audio, Video etc

NEW The biggest single set of clarification of lyrics this site has ever had - yes, it's "Dylan can't sue"
NEW Trad. Arr. Tunes - reminisce about cover versions HMHB have played over the years
Gig Review section has room for your thoughts on the Leamington Spa gig
MP3 of 2009 Roadwater gig (Right/Ctrl-click; 90 mins, 80Mb) - Thanks Christos!
Cambridge gig announced for March 2010 (hometown gig: we're very excited here)
"HMHB Towns" photos on Flickr
Half-Decent Articles about HMHB
Half Man Half Biscuit Lyric Machine on Twitter
Stuart Vallantine's Half Map Half Biscuit
Complete Peel Sessions download
Half Man Half Biscuit gigs coming up

Over to You

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Note from Chris The Siteowner:
I tend to act on lyric corrections usually only when somebody backs up an initial suggestion. If a correction doesn't get a seconder, I usually let it go (unless it's so obviously the right thing to do). However, if you feel strongly that I shouldn't have ignored a suggestion, feel free to re-post your comment and ask for some support!