19 Jun 2010
Four legs good but no legs best
Arthur’s Farm tells a tale as curious as any in the songbook, which I’m sure someone’s going to explain here. I’d certainly appreciate it. The end of the second verse also presciently describes the vuvuzelas many years before they’d even been invented, never mind inflicted on the world. I may regret writing that though, as it’s going to mean nothing after summer 2010. I hope. Thanks to Nigel (not that one)
See lyrics to Arthur’s Farm
17 Letters Sent:
Peter Gandy
‘Everybody arsed around’ after the old joke: What was the man with no legs doing? Arseing around.
I think it might be ‘double grazing’ as well.
Jun 19th, 2010
dagenham dave
one of my favourites this, there’s an unnecessary ‘a’ before ‘legless’.
I don’t hear ‘double glazing’, ‘grazing’ sounds closer but having listened to that line constantly I’m still no nearer to being sure, sometimes it even sounds like ‘gravy’.
I think I need to leave it alone for a bit and go back to it later.
Jun 19th, 2010
Chris The Siteowner
The printed lyrics from the album (which I tend to avoid, as they’re rarely 100% correct) say “grazing”, and it’s unlikely they’re wrong on that one.
Jun 19th, 2010
REDDITCH WAYNE
Double grazing obviously being a play on words, with grazing being a farming term, as in many HMHB songs. My 2nd fave HMHB song not so ‘loosely’ based on the classic novel by George Orwell. Back in the late 80s I used to force these lyrics down people’s throats! When meeting people for the first time I used to say ‘Hi, read this’! Hopefully there are a few people wandering around today somewhere with the lyrics to Arthurs Farm embedded in their heads.
Jun 20th, 2010
REDDITCH WAYNE
Arthur Askey must have envisaged the world cup of 2010 when he wrote the bee song over 50 years ago! Don’t know what sounds worse – the bee song or the vuvuzelas?
Jun 20th, 2010
Matt Lee
In the first line, I always thought it was “Dougie Buggie Bader” and that Napoleon was “wearing pink”.
Jun 20th, 2010
ROB
I always heard it as Dougie-Wougie Bader…
Jun 21st, 2010
Exford
I am ashamed to say I was present during the first ever Mexican wave in the UK (Wembley, Charity Shield, immediately post World Cup 1986) and of course I was in the grumpy arl minority who refused to participate … but I did nothing ….confidently predicting that this passing fad, which surely would only take place during such 0-0 bore- draws anyway, would not last the season … the rest is history.
So I say let’s not be complacent – remember Animal Farm, brothers and sisters ! I’m glad World Cup ’10 has its idiosyncracies, errm I mean its one single idiosyncracy, ‘cos god knows it would be even blander without them/it. But PLEASE let’s ban the v-words from our own stadia, from our streets, from our streets, our schools and from Sly Sports’ stupid ignorant Saturday morning soccerball shows ….NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. I see Cardiff has already done so. Excellent work. Sometimes it is not best to turn a deaf ear.
Our protest movement will need an anthem, and may I suggest this adaptation of the “Beasts of England” sound itself:
Fans of England, fans of Ireland,
Fans of every land and clime,
Hearken to my dreadful tidings
Of an awful future time.
Soon or late the day is coming,
Human voices o’erthrown,
With the football songs of England
Sung by sad old men, alone.
As blaring horns crush down our eardrums,
Like a harness to our back,
Vocal chords shall rust forever,
As terrace wisecracks turn to cack.
Against that day we all must labour,
I’d gladly die before it breaks !
Shove vuvuzela up their arseholes
And then let’s hear the sound it makes.
Jun 21st, 2010
chesneywold
I used to listen to this album in the bath every week, and the strangeness of this song really bored into my skull; for some reason I found it intensely moving. I weren’t right. I always heard it as ‘Napoleon wearing pink’ as well. I also heard it as Dougie Bader explained about the boil on his ‘bum’, i assumed this was pre-legless days as otherwise why would he be oppressed by two legs good, four legs best when there was no mention of the legless. And I figured that the boil on his bum somehow presaged the hubristic future loss of his legs, as if it was always going to happen like in a Greek play. Like I say, I weren’t right at the time.
Oh and Redditch Wayne, did you ever use to drink in the Archers?
Jun 21st, 2010
Exford
It is Dougie Wougie (or Dougie Wuggy or Duggy Wuggy), surely ?
Chris surely a bit of revision on the basics of “Animal Farm” and on the two most famous double amputees of their era clarifies the tale, and makes clear petty much all the ideas behind this excellent little song ? The only line I don’t quite get is the boil on the palm.
Jun 21st, 2010
waldron76
Another vote for Dougie Wougie (however you want to spell it).
Jun 21st, 2010
Mr Larrington
+1 for a variation on the “Dougie Wougie” theme.
Jun 22nd, 2010
Shirley Dimensions
+two (gie wougie)
Jun 22nd, 2010
Chris The Siteowner
“Dougie Wougie” it is then.
Jun 22nd, 2010
nickinko
Excellent things here, as always.
I thought the boil was on Douglas’s “bum”, possibly due to too much time sat in a cockpit? The substitution of “palm” on the album lyric sheet could just be one of those coy, eighties, “I’m up the cuckoo tree”-esque, self-censor-it-in-case-we’re-on-TOTP moments? Or not?
Jul 17th, 2010
Steve Malkmoose
Aha! My all-time favourite HMHB song (although it does change frequently, over the span of 20 plus years this has probably been most consistent in my affections, being a devotee of Orwell et al). So many beautiful puns and cross-references. Like Wayne, if ever I were to recommend a HMHB lyric to non-believers, I would pointthem towards Arthur’s farm!!
Just a couple of minor points:
Isn’t it “palm” just simply because where else on his person could he have a boil that rhymes with “farm” (or is that too simplistic for NB?)
I always sang the last time as:
“One time visitors, now the regime” (no?)
Jul 26th, 2010
Bobby String
Anybody who thought the world cup vuvuzelas were loud should attend a Soweto derby between Kaizer Chiefs and Orlando Pirates!
Ô¿Ô
Oct 23rd, 2010
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