The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Busking this at Embankment Tube tomorrow

160 pop songs picked over by pedants (in 2,784 comments!)

The Best Things In Life

My Uncle Charlie is a cynical man
And his wife’s a touch sceptical too
They’ve got one of those stickers in the back of their van
It says “We’ve seen the prices at the zoo”

Well today I knocked upon their door and said that I was passing
And Charlie launched a scathing attack
When I asked him what I’d done, he said
“You stupid bastard, we live in a cul-de-sac”

Went to Dali’s party, it was fancy dress
I just stuck an apple in my face
I saw a chap who obviously was out to impress
Reckoned he’d beat Gagarin into space
He said “Hi there Salv
Like I’m sorry I’m late
But I was getting done up
As a Mogul Thrash acetate”

Me, I got bored
So I went home
Got into bed
And came to the conclusion…

There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro
There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro
There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro
There is nothing better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro
On a Saturday night instead of going to the pub

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