The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Busking this at Embankment Tube tomorrow

149 pop songs picked over by pedants!

Bastard doorstep sockless stupid

Stavanger Töestub is a very funny pisstake of nu-/thrash/godknowswhat metal which doesn’t outstay its welcome at 24 seconds either. According to the booklet (so I’m told, as all my CDs have been up in the loft for ages), the lyrics are:
Bastard doorstep sockless stupid
Kill your laughter pain is brutal
Can’t walk properly for a fortnight
Deus Deus
Norway Reds in Bluecoat Chambers
The pain, oh Momma the pain, worse even than when I cut open
My kneecap on the freshly gritted slope and our village doctor
Cleaned out the wound with a wire brush
So now BANG BANG BANG goes my PLAN (plan plan) to woo the peg lady.
Colossal drag
Teach. Me. To. Go Barefoot.

…but of course they’re not. Nor are they “suitable for work”, as the saying goes. Thanks to Fredorrarci, Sanchez and Zertrudetrout

See lyrics to Stavanger Töestub

5 Letters Sent:
  1. Neil G

    I think you’re spot on with this one, Chris. I was hoping to spot a missing twat, so to speak, but none was evident. Well done.

  2. Dave F.

    I’m looking at the booklet as I type:

    There are a couple of commas:
    The pain, oh Momma the pain, worse even than when I cut open

    & uppercase words:
    So now BANG BANG BANG goes my PLAN (plan plan) to woo the peg lady.

    The last line each word has a period:
    Teach. Me. To. Go. Barefoot.

    Many of the words are capitalized.

    I hope that clarifies the situation

  3. Charles Exford

    Nice work Mr.Siteowner. As I happened to know it was your birthday I was actually considering attempting this one for you today.

    But you beat me to it. Have a great day anyway ! Any other special requests that I could get the old LSD (Lyrical Slow Downer) to work on this week?

  4. Sanchez

    Are you sure there’s not a ‘cock’ in there?

  5. i do believe the song is a slightly late, yet excellent, parody of early grindcore. napalm death’s the kill must surely be an influence: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZC7-k3Z4vJU

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