The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Busking this at Embankment Tube tomorrow

179 pop songs picked over by pedants

Beep beep.

Visitor for Mr Edmonds is presumably the sound of beardy’s career/heart monitor wobbling and fading. To date, the composition has not reduced him to the same state of (de)composition as writing about Messrs Hull, Fisher, Jackson, Gerulaitis etc. Oh well. As there’s not much else to say, perhaps I can encourage you all to visit Word magazine’s attempt to revive Peely’s Festive Fifty, and vote for your favourite CSI:Ambleside selection!

See lyrics to Visitor for Mr Edmonds

8 Letters Sent:
  1. The following comments were originally made on the wrong page (thanks Neil G) and have been transplanted here by the same team of surgeons who were playing golf while Mr Edmond’s heart monitor went beep. Sorry!

    @Fredorrarci:
    You’re one beep short, I think.
    Just kidding…

    @Daryl:
    I’ve always wondered if this was a message in Morse Code. Probably not though… Any ideas?

    @Neil G:
    This is great. Now I can sing along.

    @Richard:
    I always thought this was about someone murdering Noel Edmonds – as the beeps quicken (presumambly when the muderer comes in and turns off the life support) then, Edmonds dies. Am I being too macabre/optimistic? Fantastic site btw, keep up the great work

    @Dave F.:
    I always assumed the ‘visitor’ was The Grim Reaper. No need to turn anything off, just wait for the sand to drop through…

    @Paul F:
    I’m with Richard on this.

  2. 2

    Paul F

    Looking (hopefully) for the lyrics to “Emerging from Gorse” I noticed “Visitor for Mr Edmonds” does not have a link yet from the album listing.

    Can I take this opportunity to make a personal request for “Emerging from Gorse”? Surely: “‘Coz you can’t get Teenage Eskimo in Wantage” is the best line in the history of the English language.

  3. 3

    Max Williams

    re the visitor, I always assumed it was Nigel.

  4. 4

    Richard

    Hmm I cant see Nigel as a murderer. I guess finishing off Edmonds would be more of a mercy killing.

  5. 5

    TWO FAT FEET

    I always heard it as ‘bip’ not ‘beep’.

    Could be one of Nigel’s idiosyncratic pronunciations.

  6. 6

    Jimbo

    I wondered whether it was connected to the death of Michael Lush, four years before the album was released in a telly stunt organised by a TV programme that Edmonds used to host, with the unfortunately apt name of The Late, Late Breakfast Show.

    Michael Lush died instantly from his injuries when the carabiner clip attaching his bungee rope to a crane sprang loose as he jumped and subsequently hit the ground at great speed. So he would never have been on a life support machine but I still feel there’s some mileage in the link.

  7. 7

    TWO FAT FEET

    Fourteen years, not four. Interesting connection to make but I suspect it’s far enough out to give Ronnie Boyce a run for his money.

  8. 8

    Big Nose

    Not sure you get the final “p”? Therefore I think the correct lyric should be:

    Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

    Some may disagree, but at least it’s another way to take the p out of Mr Edmonds, which is always a good thing.

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