But then I encounter Primark FM…
After listening through to CSI:Ambleside it was hard to know where to start, but hey, let’s go with the six-minute album closer National Shite Day. Remarkable. As has been commented elsewhere, this is close in spirit to A Country Practice: lots of things not to like, some dark undertones and a rather catchy choon. Oh god, is there really a Primark FM?
See lyrics to National Shite Day


24 Letters Sent:
Tom
’spotted a Marsh Fritillary during association’
And I think it’s ‘Fat kids and sausage rolls, whoresons conducting polls’. Much more Nigel.
Apr 25th, 2008
chris
Clearly I’m not a butterfly collector. Thanks! Not so sure about the other one, still sounds like “poor sods” to me. Anyone else?
Apr 25th, 2008
Bob
Sounds like “His exposed skull a perch for the quartering crow” to me ??
Apr 28th, 2008
Hoagy
I think it’s “Fat kids with sausage rolls, poor sods conducting polls”
and “What news you?, I felt sorry for him”
Apr 29th, 2008
Giles Pattison
I’m sure “quartering crow” is correct. Found this “The four quarters of John Stevens, who is hanged, drawn and quartered for treason, are displayed on the City gates, Salisbury, where the crows have a feast Date: March 1635″ with a picture of the four quarters of said Mr Stevens on spikes. Each quarter has a crow perched on it.
Apr 29th, 2008
chris
You guys justify your selection every week.
Apr 30th, 2008
Seb Patrick
It’s TVM, not TVAM. It stands for “TV Movie”. Stockard Channing has been in rather a lot of them.
May 1st, 2008
Houtini
“poor sods” is right, as is “what news you?” I used to have a friend who would use this irritating misappropriation, much like “what can I do you for?”, “how goes it?” etc.
May 1st, 2008
chris
@Seb: Very good - makes much more sense, and sounds right! A TLA which had heretofore eluded me.
@Houtini: “what news you?” - I need to get out more, obviously.
May 1st, 2008
leigh
The note to Phil Cool was “read” not “said”.
May 5th, 2008
tupper
I think it’s “More bog roll”, not “No bog roll”, but I’m happy to sit corrected.
I tell you what, this song is a feckin BELTER! One of their best.
May 9th, 2008
tonei
A proper gem of a song. ‘New Face in Hell’ {das Falle} vs. ‘Bone Machine’ {Pixies}. Funny as fook. I thought it was ’sadolin’ {the wood preperation treatment} but on further investigation, the ’sanderling’ is indeed a wading bird. Last LP I bought was ‘Back in the DHSS’ when it came out !! so I’ve a lot of catching up to do. Great site BTW.
May 17th, 2008
SeanyMac
Hi Chris
You’ve missed out that wonderful quiet bit in the middle, where Nigel drones:
“Float… float on /
Float… float on /
Barry… herpes”
(As in “Larry… Cancer” from Float On by The Floaters).
Marvellous stuff!
May 20th, 2008
chris
Thanks! It’s added!
May 20th, 2008
Gavin
To up the pedantry, Millets has only a single t.
May 24th, 2008
chris
That’s the kind of pedantry which makes this all worthwhile. Top marks.
May 24th, 2008
Nick
I think quartering crow refers to the verb to quarter, from AsxOxford.com:
“4. range over (an area) in all directions.”
I’ve seen it used in reference to crows here:
http://www.strictlybowhunting.com/Anov01issue/crows.htm
Jun 4th, 2008
Petrovic
@Seanymac
Thanks for pointing that out - just looked up the lyrics to Float On and you’ve improved an already brilliant song for me.
Jul 20th, 2008
Phil
“And brace the margins” rather than “embrace the margins”?
I’m sure I’ve heard the phrase before (or maybe it was just a dream).
Sep 25th, 2008
neville
Regarding the “bus replacement service” lyric, though I’d agree this is incorrect I’d also say that the “train replacement service” would likely lead to confusion amongst the less able members of society.
The “replacement bus service” is the best option of all, being neither grammatically incorrect nor ambiguous.
Yours Sincerely,
N. Erdington.
Stoke Poges.
Nov 17th, 2008
Paul F
“embrace the margins” is correct I think.
Nov 18th, 2008
Richard
I agree with Paul, although I think ‘margin’ is singular not plural.
I am pretty proud of that bit of pedantry
Nov 18th, 2008
Paul F
Well done Richard! Good point.
Nov 18th, 2008
Charles Exford
I can’t help but commenting (because the alternative at this precise time would be joining Jools for the Jam Sketch and it’s ANNIE LENNOX), that this - NATIONAL SHITE DAY is probably THE GREATEST SONG RELEASED BY ANYONE IN 2008. I am pretty confident that had the great man been alive this would have been number one in The Festive Fifty 2008.
I notice that the Festive 50 at dandelionradio.com, the site which probably preserves Peelishness as well as any, has NSD at Number 21. What a travesty !
Personally me and the Mrs. will be playing this song tonight at midnight and we count ourselves blessed that we saw it played on its live debut … no coincidence that that was on April 23rd, either. It is the UK’s new national anthem as far as I’m concerned. It looks like it is now a set list staple and how lucky we are that it is so …
I’d just like to quote the splendid Mike Cresswell, who did a definitive review of the excellent Edinburgh gig back in October on hmhb.co.uk. He said what I’d wanted to say about this classic and I couldn’t have put it better meself. I quote:
“Finally, then I will shut up. Through the fog, through the struggling sound system, a shining light; almost like Monty Python’s stream of bat’s piss (Python ‘Oscar Wilde’ I merely meant, Your Majesty, that you shine out like a shaft of gold when all around is dark).
National Shite Day is an immense song. An instant ‘classic’ that defines the feeling that we all have at times (some more than others) that the microcosm, that is our life, is being replicated throughout the wider community. It is cathartic; an accolade that is so oft used but rarely, in my opinion, justified.
This song is that Premier League player that your club (supporters of the big 5, generally; oh, and Spurs) have just bought for Euro 30 million and looks pretty good on first viewing; but then after a few weeks, is absolutely stunning. There are a few. Messrs Veron and Pizzaro may be considered unlikely members of that club.
In my view, it is a song that should be pre-loaded onto every Ppod. It is there to enjoy, but also to deflect the suffering of a bad day at the office, ground, etc. It just gives that reality check that we all need to inlay a little bit of perspective.
It was stunning when it was given a live debut at Nottingham, but at Edinburgh, it just seemed even better. Perhaps it was because of the incessant drum and bass beat booming out through the fog, the fact that last Friday was one of the worst days of my life for a long time, or just because it is such an incredible reflection of the way that life can annoy you in such a complex manner; almost by stealth and only when distilled into this song, does it allow you to rationalise it and shrug it off as, ‘that’s the way it is’?
Enough already. Roll on London. I would expect true Biscuit-lovers to arrange a pre-gig meet at The Falcon in Camden. Well, maybe not. I think it is now derelict. Perhaps the Hawley Arms for a pint or two with the Winehouse? Oh, hang on, that was gutted by fire as well, I think? Don’t worry, there are boozers galore. It is also cruel to expect an Ipswich fan to have to go to Norwich in November, but I will grin and bear it. A plea to the band - NSD to be installed as a staple on the set-list. Inked in, like Cantona would be. Fin.”
Jan 1st, 2009
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