The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Busking this at Embankment Tube tomorrow

160 pop songs picked over by pedants (in 2,784 comments!)

But you can’t hide the fact that we used to play naked Twister

Ordinary to Enschede is a B-side from the McIntyre, Treadmore and Davitt era. It’s rather sweet. There’s a mystery place in the first verse (“Phipps Central” according to the HMHB site) which I’ll be very grateful if anyone can shed a light on.

See the lyrics to Ordinary to Enschede

20 Letters Sent:
  1. Floreat Ultonia

    Just inspired guesswork but might Phipps Central be Eindhoven Beukenlaan which serves the Philips industrial complex?

    Keep up the good work.

  2. Ben

    Can’t help with any lyrics as I’ve never actually heard the song.

    Just thought I’d post in case anyone was struggling with what an ‘ordinary’ was.

    Back in the days of ‘Football specials’ when trains were laid on for 70′s hoolies to wreck, there was an incident between Chelsea and Everton fans at High Street Kensington which (I think) lead to Everton coming off slightly the worse for wear.

    Next season some legendary graffiti was sprayed onto a wall at Lime Street -”Ordinary to Chelsea” inviting those seeking retribution to attend via a scheduled train service in order to slip through the attentions of the Met.

  3. twistedkitemike

    I always thought it was ‘Fib Central’?

    As in, telling porkies?

    I may enquire upon high if necessary.

    Mike…………………………………………………………

  4. Wow, could be. Not sure it makes much sense, but then again, who does? (Sorry, came across all Blade Runner there)

  5. gNick

    Sounds like Fib Central, now I listen to it again. I’ve been singing it in acoustic nights as Phipps Central for about a year though…

    An enquiry on high might make good sense – whether the answer would is another matter.

  6. dj

    i thought it was phipps central as well, but no, i couldn’t offer a convincing argument for it either.

  7. CAMRA man

    Hi Chris.
    Great site and congratulations for taking on a monumental and noble task. Here’s my tuppence worth. After hearing it again, I concur with the others by thinking it’s “Fib” . I kinda fits in with the previous two lines where she is lying to him.

  8. OK, let’s go with that, although enquiries made on high would still be most welcome!

  9. Ben

    If like me you’ve never heard this rarity, some kind soul has uploaded it onto You tube

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elvz-h0xCYk

  10. sgd

    the song book has it as Phipps Central.

    hope this helps

  11. Twistedkitemike

    Out of interest, my enquiry to a higher authority was met with an unequivocal “Fib Central”. He should know. Maybe.

    Unrelated, but many thanks to this site/forum for confirming (albeit only one of the many theories that I had considered over the years) the lyrical content of “Techstep”. It ‘sort of’ makes sense now.

    Again, great piece of work; this site.

    Mike…………………………………………………………………..

  12. I discovered yesterday, quite by chance, that there is a district of Stockholm named “Enskede”. And thus found myself wondering whether the title is an elaborate joke that has had Nigel quietly chortling up his sleeve since 1990.

  13. Charles Exford

    Waregem, Malmo and Enschede (the Dutch one) are all fairly well-known clubs in European leagues, UEFA cup, etc, and we all know NB57′s penchant for fairly well-known clubs in European leagues, UEFA Cup, etc..

    ‘Ordinary to’ is a fairly well-known way of saying ‘Please can I have a ticket on the normal train, not the football special, to avoid the police escort’.

    The Stockholm thing therefore looks unlikely, given the spelling and all.

  14. Neil G

    I don’t know where to put this but this section, one offs, seems reasonable. I used to have mp3s of Legend In My Time and the session that included King of Rome, taken from the HMHB website, I think. My computer went all to cock a while back and I got a new one. I thought I’d copied all the files to the new one but I hadn’t. I can’t find them. Does anyone know how I might get hold of them again? They’re not on the website now.

  15. Simon Smith

    e-mail me and I`ll send you a CD with both on if you like. unknown.pleasures@hotmail.com.

  16. Mr Larrington

    According to a long-haired Dutchman of my slight acquaintance this is how one pronounces “Enschede”. Having as I do no sound capability on this ‘ere Babbage-Engine, I’d be grateful to anyone who does to confirm whether nb57 or Peelie has it right.

  17. Attila the Brit

    Evenin’, Your Worship.

    Enskede is not that tricky a one to pronounce, except for the “sk” sound, which we don’t have in English. It’s a very guttural sound, particularly in Stockholm. In other parts of Sweden, you’d get away with a “sh” sound. Stress is on the first syllable and 3 short “e” sounds. Sorry, I’ve no phonemic characters on this ‘ere ZX Spectrum. Get along to Bilston and I’ll sort you out…

  18. Peter Gandy

    @Attila: Are you suggesting it’s an ordinary to Enskede (as in the suburb of Stockholm) rather than Enschede in the Netherlands?

    I had pondered that possibility due to the references to Malmo and “you went off your swede…”, but ruled it out due to the title spelling.

  19. Attila the Brit

    @Peter G: No, I was responding to Mr Larrington’s (a.k.a. the Mayor of somewhere or other in France!) post up thread. I’m fairly sure the song refers to the Dutch place which I would not hazard a guess as to how to pronounce…

    Watching a few episodes of Wallander (not the luvvie darling version, I add) might help with the Swedish, but it’s filmed in Scania and the Swedish pronunciation there is as close to Stockholm’s as Essex’s is to Scots.

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