The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Busking this at Embankment Tube tomorrow

149 pop songs picked over by pedants!

Notes on recently-added lyrics from ACD, Back Again in the DHSS

As you put another Roger Dean poster on the wall

Despite the legendary curse of HMHB, the one song which mentions “all those people who you romantically like to still believe are alive, are dead” didn’t have any of the four it namechecks let the side down until almost twenty years after it was written. Oh the irony. And even now, over 22 years since the song’s release, three out of the four are still with us. Dickie Davies Eyes is one of those early songs which is known to the “Half Man Half Biscuit – didn’t they do that song about…?” brigade, mainly because it still gets the occasional national radio airing (he said, just having heard it on BBC 6 Music).

Windy Militant leads his Basque-like corn grinders to war

The Trumpton Riots probably remains HMHB’s most famous song to this day. Although associated with the band’s first album Back in the DHSS nowadays, the track wasn’t on it originally, coming out as a single/EP nearer the time of the second album, Back Again in the DHSS, on which it featured in the “7-in remix” format. However, the EP version was subsequently added onto the CD release of the first album, and the song reared its head for a third time in a live version on the ACD update of the second album. Someone may want to tell me if there are any lyrical differences between the three!

Other than that, having argued about the lyrics and just about settled on a consensus when we discussed the 2003 remake of the song here, I can now present the lyrics to the original version without, I hope, too much argument ensuing. There are some tiny differences between the two. The original handwritten lyrics, which aren’t quite correct, are published here.

Morphy Richards popped up with the goods

I haven’t done any of the real oldies for what seems like ages! Anyway, I Was A Teenage Armchair Honved Fan is another homage to eastern European football, which I just rediscovered when listening through to the delightful complete Peel sessions stuff (complete with Peel!) which, if you haven’t heard it, is here, all 48 tracks from Ted Moult to Oven Gloves. Enjoy.

Writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro

Of course The Best Things In Life is best remembered for the refrain there is nothing better in life than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro but I’m rather fond of we’ve seen the prices at the zoo as well.

Careful with that spliff Eugene

Time Flies By (When You’re a Driver of a Train) may well be the most famous Half Man Half Biscuit song ever, in terms of people saying “Weren’t they the band which did…?” And I suppose it still brings a smile to your face, even if it only vaguely hints at the more sophisticated genius which was to come.

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