The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Bit of a PBR, this one, because I met an ex-teacher of mine in our city’s swanky new library the other day, and she was paying the fines through the groovy automated machines for a couple of books which appeared to be nine weeks overdue. Anyway, I Love You Because (You Look Like Jim Reeves) wasn’t as successful as many other HMHB songs at seeing the back of its protagonists: Jim Reeves had already been dead for many years, Peggy Mount soldiered on for another 15, and Tony Bastable managed over 20, although at 62 you could say his passing was an unexpectedly early walk back to the pavilion. The song also features a rare example of some NSFW language (well, a word) which NB57 appeared to get out of his system very early on.

God Gave Us Life is the song which I always think disproves any “curse of HMHB” theory, because most of the extensive roll-call of wonderful people are alive and well nearly 25 years later. Even the, er, more senior ones lived on into the next century. Anyway, some nice distortion.

On the day when England actually beat the bloody Aussies at Lords for once, it seemed appropriate to add a cricket-related song, of which there are surprisingly few in the Half Man Half Biscuit songbook. Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus refers to the former Middlesex and England off spinner who would have plied much of his trade at Lords (not a fiery Yorkshire pace legend, take note Kevin Sampson) and I guess is probably one of those early songs which permeated more widely into the public consciousness (as in “Half Man Half Biscuit? Aren’t they the ones who did…?”).

The Trumpton Riots probably remains HMHB’s most famous song to this day. Although associated with the band’s first album Back in the DHSS nowadays, the track wasn’t on it originally, coming out as a single/EP nearer the time of the second album, Back Again in the DHSS, on which it featured in the “7-in remix” format. However, the EP version was subsequently added onto the CD release of the first album, and the song reared its head for a third time in a live version on the ACD update of the second album. Someone may want to tell me if there are any lyrical differences between the three!

Other than that, having argued about the lyrics and just about settled on a consensus when we discussed the 2003 remake of the song here, I can now present the lyrics to the original version without, I hope, too much argument ensuing. There are some tiny differences between the two. The original handwritten lyrics, which aren’t quite correct, are published here.

Honestly, I don’t only add these when people die. It’s just they’re falling almost at the same rate as I post lyrics up nowadays. In retrospect, the musical component to Reflections In A Flat sounds rather poignant. Anyway, David Nixon went a long time ago, but today it was the turn of “hard working stage magician Ali Bongo“, who – as any HMHB listener knows – was always good at contortionism. Gone forever, but not shot by his Uncle Trevor.

Hey pop pickers, I’d aimed to leave the all-time classics until the home stretch, but an overwhelming urge just came over me to add All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit to the site. Perhaps the most famous HMHB song of all, and the one which launched a thousand replica shirts. Does anything else need to be said about this?

Update: it’s getting a few mentions, not surprisingly, in Name your favourite football-related song on TimesOnline…

Time Flies By (When You’re a Driver of a Train) may well be the most famous Half Man Half Biscuit song ever, in terms of people saying “Weren’t they the band which did…?” And I suppose it still brings a smile to your face, even if it only vaguely hints at the more sophisticated genius which was to come.