The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Moody Chops is about all those musicians who continue to play the impoverished, tortured artist even when they’re on the way to sharing G&Ts in the Long Room with Mick and Sir Tim. Or at least that’s how I’ve always read it. One or two people seem to think it’s specifically about Morrissey though. And by the way, the Dutch were never going to decide they could reclaim the IJsselmeer after all, and achieve it in six years, by 2003. Apparently.

I’m sitting on dozens of sets of lyrics here (thanks everyone – truly) which will all get used eventually (we’re past the halfway mark now). However, I still relish a challenge, so I managed to find a song which, remarkably, nobody had contributed, and which I could take the entire blame for. Split Single With Happy Lounge Labelmates is a fine singalong, which not for the first time, becomes a “list song” in places – or are those odd items related? Another great HMHB song title, by the way. Was “Happy Lounge” a real label? I’m sure someone will tell me.

There aren’t many HMHB tracks which I totally don’t get, nor are there many which, well just don’t seem to be any good, but I have to say Multitude ticks both boxes for me. In addition, there are one or two lines I’ve had to guess at, and one I’ve never been able to work out – and nor have either of the good folks who’ve sent this in. Hopefully someone else can help.

Ready Steady Goa is a relative obscurity from Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral in which Nigel justifiably drops scorn on students heading eastwards for spiritual enlightenment.

Secret Gig has always been a bit of a favourite of a lot of people, despite (or perhaps because of) it being so straightforward and simple. Single subject and all that. Also, it’s great live.

OK, if only to distract attention from arguments about “elms” and “alms”, let’s have another one which is going to encourage some wild speculation. Children of Apocalyptic Techstep is one of those songs where the guitar is occasionally just a bit too forward in the mix for the lyrics analysts. Odd song this, even the hmhb site doesn’t have too much to say about it.

I must say thanks to everyone who’s sent in lyrics; they’re all carefully stored here and we will get through all of them eventually, I promise. Every once in a while though I feel the urge to tackle a song which nobody has sent in and which doesn’t appear anywhere on t’internet. And so to On Reaching The Wensum, an odd and ever-so-slightly-obscure effort from Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral which features a rare Norfolk reference. And get this: the TV series “Kingdom” was filmed in Swaffham many years later …and Stephen Fry flies a biplane. Spooky eh?

Oooh, another easy one, but one of the cleverest, simplest and perhaps most archetypal Half Man Half Biscuit songs ever. Turn A Blind Eye is a pastiche of a poem of uncertain provenance about the Nazis being allowed to rise to power. It’s also brilliant.

A nice easy one this (while I pluck up the courage to try Children of Apocalyptic Techstep – all help appreciated). Anyway, You’re Hard has a pop at a number of people who, incredibly, still manage to be irritating ten years later – so they proved to be durable targets.

Keeping Two Chevrons Apart is the plaintive album-closer from 1998′s Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral, a track which certainly doesn’t overstay its welcome and features some, er, interesting guitar playing. We have them on the M11 now as well, you know. Chevrons, that is. Not guitars.