The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

4AD3DCD is an early example in the long series of HMHB songs mercilessly (for it can be no other way) lampooning indie or student bands. And it’s still one of the best.

Floreat Inertia is pleasant enough, and the band still do it live, but I never quite got this one, I’m afraid. That said, “the low drone of the treadmill is the sound of my hopes being shattered” is a magnificent line.

Running Order Squabble Fest ticks all the boxes and qualifies as an undisputed Half Man Half Biscuit classic. Brief, hilarious, good riff, modified football chant, embarrassing to its unsuspecting targets …what’s not to like?

Footprints just wouldn’t work in any accent other than Scouse, would it? This song almost defines the description “droll”. It’s awesomely funny. Ten points just for knowing what or who Bert, Adge, The Shend and Daktari are (I did! And should I be proud of that? Would my parents be proud of me? Would my Dad let me borrow his golf clubs if he knew?).

Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite is notable for containing one of the oddest bits of trivia ever to occur in a pop song. HMHB have an awesome track record of mentioning people and places in their lyrics which suddenly go, er, tits up.

Whit Week Malarkey is one of those songs which has a few rather disjointed amusing references, doesn’t seem to go anywhere, and yet sometimes you can’t get it out of your head.