The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project » Voyage To The Bottom Of The Road

The Chief Executive, fresh from Reykjavik

Chris The Siteowner — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:53:46 +0000

This one always makes me smile. It’s just a list of management-speak gobbledegook, culled mainly from job adverts, but what’s striking about ITMA could well be how few of these terms have become quaint since 1997. I suppose most of the people who were writing business bullshit back then are still writing it today. Thanks to Rob, Sarah and Grev

See lyrics to ITMA

The film trivia book at the bog-side

Chris The Siteowner — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 14:56:01 +0000

You didn’t really think that Song Of Encouragement for the Orme Ascent was going to be about “Llandudno’s Mountain”, did you? Thanks to the magic of Peel Sessions, another song, like Trumpton Riots, available in both guitar- and banjo-flavoured varieties. Thanks to discopocalypse, David and Sarah

See lyrics to Song Of Encouragement for the Orme Ascent

It’s a long old vehicle that runs you down

Chris The Siteowner — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 14:03:33 +0000

See That My Bike’s Kept Clean is an update on a wonderfully maudlin old spiritual called Two White Horses In A Line, also known as One Kind Favour. The landmark recording – in a quite original version – was by the fabulously named Blind Lemon Jefferson, who called it “See That My Grave Is Kept Clean“. He promptly froze to death on the streets of Chicago, but as that was in the 1920s, you can’t pin it on Half Man Half Biscuit. For once. Anyway, this version is about cycling. Thanks to gNick

Inspect the lyrics to See That My Bike’s Kept Clean

Yesterday Matthew, I was a Factory completist

Chris The Siteowner — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 13:31:39 +0000

Yes tonight Matthew, he really is going to be with Jesus, because David Vine has just died at the age of 73, and becomes the first person mentioned in a Half Man Half Biscuit song to die for nearly three weeks. Tonight Matthew, I’m Going To Be With Jesus also mentions Julian Bream and Matthew Kelly, who must be making the most of each day. The song also contains one of the ultimate quick tests of whether your mindset is that of an HMHB appreciator: show me anyone who instantly understands what a “Factory completist” must be, and you’ll show me someone who will “get” HMHB. The opposite applies too, for sure. Thanks to Neil G

See lyrics to Tonight Matthew, I’m Going To Be With Jesus

Let me hear you say hosepipe ban

Chris The Siteowner — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 13:04:38 +0000

A Shropshire Lad gets its title from an epic poem by AE Housman which I’ve just been told off about for not knowing (apparently it’s really famous). Anyway, it’s nice to be back after a summer off, and I promise there’ll be more frequent additions to the site now than the last few weeks’ pitiable close-season performance. Thanks to gNick and Ian

See lyrics to A Shropshire Lad

Flirt with brass and later rue it

Chris The Siteowner — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 17:54:52 +0000

Monmore, Hare’s Running is a nonsense song which is more endearing than it probably deserves to be. Brilliant if for nothing else than getting that title into a song. Thanks to Grev and Jon F

See lyrics to Monmore, Hare’s Running

Runrig with special guest Mike Peters

Chris The Siteowner — Sat, 12 Jul 2008 16:04:56 +0000

OK, so I’ve taken a longer than usual break from posting up lyrics, and therefore as penance let’s do a song which nobody ever seems to have quoted online before and which I’ve been dreading doing. P.R.S. Yearbook – Quick, The Drawbridge has some fairly baffling content anyway, but the muddy production just makes it even harder to get to grips with. I expect more than a few comments and corrections on this one. Thanks to Grev, whose efforts I’m loathe to amend much!

See lyrics to P.R.S. Yearbook – Quick, The Drawbridge

Those funeral arrangements

Chris The Siteowner — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 10:40:24 +0000

Dead Men Don’t Need Season Tickets is one of those glorious songs which touches on a subject which probably shouldn’t be touched on, but you can’t help but smile when you think about it. Thanks to Jon, gnick and Grev

Ponder over the lyrics to Dead Men Don’t Need Season Tickets

Chelsea, Chantelle and Jordan

Chris The Siteowner — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 11:18:51 +0000

He Who Would Valium Take is a hymn. Well, sort of. With a church organ, bad singing and everything. Wow. Who saw that one coming? Thanks to Patrick

See lyrics to He Who Would Valium Take

Hang with Chrissie Hynde

Chris The Siteowner — Thu, 22 May 2008 11:38:58 +0000

Eno Collaboration is more poking fun at pretentious bands, although this time a bit more major league than the usual indie targets. Thanks to Patrick and Matthew

See lyrics to Eno Collaboration