11 Apr 2008
Euphemisms, Audrey, Euphemisms!
Asparagus Next Left suddenly transforms Half Man Half Biscuit into a public information service, warning that road signs on our country lanes may not be what they seem. Which we all know to be true. I’m not sure anybody knows who Phyllis Triggs is though. Thanks to Patrick and Dave
See lyrics to Asparagus Next Left
27 Letters Sent:
Craig
Second last verse – it’s ‘bands have become ridiculous’.
Apr 22nd, 2008
chris
Are you sure? Anyone else agree?
Apr 22nd, 2008
Gordon Burns
No – definitely Vans
Apr 24th, 2008
Craig
I’m pretty sure. The verse is about bands having tour buses and not travelling in transits anymore (unlike HMHB) and I don’t see how a van can have a strategy
Apr 24th, 2008
chris
“Vans” makes sense becuase it’s a comment on how all vans now belong to “strategic logistics solutions providers” rather than delivery companies…
Apr 24th, 2008
Martin Taylor
I always thought it was “Bands have become ridiculous….” rather than just piling into a transit.
The logistics companies angle makes sense too tho. Hadn’t thought of that.
May 7th, 2008
Sanchez
So who was Phyllis Triggs?
May 8th, 2008
Paul F
Definitely vans.
May 19th, 2008
Ian in CO
Bands. Agree on the points made – a dig at corporate rockers, surely.
May 24th, 2008
billybookcase
We recently went down the A550(?) towards Queensferry and saw an Asparagus next left sign and wondered if this was the inspiration.
Aug 1st, 2008
Neil
Two things:
1. It’s definitely ‘vans’.
2. Phyllis Triggs is a member of the Springfield Arts Council in Springfield, Ohio, USA. That’s what happened to her.
http://www.ci.springfield.oh.us/aacf/aacfss.htm
Aug 9th, 2008
Dave F.
Evening all
Well surely that’s the ultimate guerrilla gig.
“Asparagus next Left” who says ?
It’s a bit clearer on the (superior) Peel session version.
Is there a reason why a few words are capitalized? Aubergines, Tractors, Turning etc?
Cheers
Feb 16th, 2009
Chris The Siteowner
Thanks. I’ve capitalised everything which would appear on signs. I’ve even done some more now, to be consistent. Because I can.
Feb 16th, 2009
dj
no mention of phyllis triggs but i sense a connection
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/markeaston/2010/02/the_rhubarb_triangle.html
Mar 4th, 2010
@steve_nicholls
I feel the need to point out here that the British Asparagus Festival has started ( until June 21st )
http://www.britishasparagusfestival.org
May 4th, 2010
Germ
I was watching the North East local news on the BBC today (Breakfast time before work) and they announced that the recent cold spell is threatening the asparagus crop up here.
Anything that sends me off to work singing a HMHB tune and wearing a smile is a bonus!
May 12th, 2010
Germ
Oh,and as an aside,I always heard the line as “Remember Phyllis drinks”.Warning us to take care driving down country lanes in case we run into some tweed-clad old lush.
May 12th, 2010
Charles Exford
It is definitely Phyllis Triggs I’m afraid. Just another old-fashioned name (c.f. Joyce, Thelma, Maud et al.) that NB 57 likes the sound of. As a doyen of such names he mentioned that one day he’d like to write a song about a Norma, and it seemed quite logical that this should be his wish….
But before we went our separate ways, and remembering my one-man campaign throughout ’06 to get this song on the set-list, NB57 was kind enough to show me an early hand-written version, in which aubergines, rather than asparagus, took the title role.
Lucky, really. A shower of aubergines could have done serious damage, that fateful night in Holmfirth.
As when someone requested it recently in Cambridge, Nigel also explained the reason they’ve never played it onstage is that this is a Neil Crossley tune that he (Nigel) can’t do justice to in a live environment.
May 12th, 2010
John Burscough
The first Phyllis Triggs listed on the 192.com directory website comes from Birkenhead. Coincidence? Probably.
http://www.192.com/atoz/people/triggs/phyllis/
And (takes deep breath) isn’t it “Euphemisms, AuBrey, euphemisms”? Possibly some reference to Aubrey Aubergine in crap 80s animated kids’ show The Munch Bunch?
Apr 29th, 2011
Chief Exec
Just flicking the random lyric generator and I came across “Dirt track to a darker place”…
…I’d always heard it is “dogger”. ie well, I don’t need to explain it – I’m sure you’re all world wise chaps.
Also “Euphemisms, Audrey, euphemisms” I hear as “Euphemisms all for euphemisms”.
May 15th, 2011
John Burscough
While we’re in the post-Lux Familiar, pre-album hiatus, any takers on the “Euphemisms, Aubrey, euphemisms” theory?
Jul 13th, 2011
Bobby String
I have only heard the Peel Sessions version and to me it definitely sounds like Audrey. Thinking about it, sexist though it may seem, couples out driving round country lanes generally have the man driving and the woman in the passenger seat commentating. Well, that’s been my experience (and still is, as it happens) anyway, so I always imagine an older, or middle aged at least, couple with the woman seeing the sign and saying “Fresh broad beans and aubergines”, and the man replying “Euphemisms, Audrey, euphemisms”. Of course, in todays politically correct world, no reason why Audrey shouldn’t be driving. But either way, my vote goes for Audrey.
Ô¿Ô
Jul 14th, 2011
Charles Exford
I was shown the hand-written folio manuscript, as mentioned above. Lots of aubergines but no Aubrey. I imagine NB57 was still expecting to sing about aubergines when they set off for the Peel session, but the asparagus muse overtook him somewhere just off the M1.
Jul 14th, 2011
AHAMPSHIRELad
I learn so much from this site, be it true or false . I’m off to get my hmhb lyric folder.
Jul 15th, 2011
SIMON P
A short burst of pedantry – it’s “why are THE tractors turning?” The “the” is nearly inaudible on the original – though it’s definitely there – but clearer on the Peel Session.
Oct 5th, 2011
Charles Exford
Good spot. I’ve always thought it’s either ‘the’ or ‘there’. The sound of the weak forms of those two words is an identical /ðə/ when the next word begins with a consonant.
On a tangential note I’ve been looking for a linguistic term for the times when you don’t see a mistake because you just assume a word is what you expect it to say (e.g. not spotting that the ‘r’ was missing in the ‘Theatre Severn’ gig heading, despite it being up there for months.
I’m particularly prone to this myself when reading the lyrics on here (and of course in proof-reading my own comments). I reckon this has now happened at least a dozen times that someone points out something in a lyric that I thought was written there all along. And in some of my favourites and all.
Anyway the best term I can come up with in the psycholinguistics of the reading skill is ‘false recognition.’
Any proof-readers out there? Do they have a different term for this I wonder ?
Oct 5th, 2011
SPENCER THE HALFWIT
I’ll ask me mum.
Oct 5th, 2011
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