The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

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149 pop songs picked over by pedants!

Father, Son and Mickie Most

The quiet desperation that is the English way (thanks Neil). OK, let’s get one thing straight: if it’s the man who wrote about the last train for the coast, it’s Don McLean, and if it’s the one-time Peter Glaze sidekick, it’s Don Maclean, and we’ll never know which one is being referred to, although you lot will argue about it, without doubt. Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off is one of the most beautifully gloomy songs HMHB have ever recorded, especially the coda after the last chorus. Magnificent. Thanks to Bob, Neil, Grim, Jon A and gNick

10 Letters Sent:
  1. Ben

    Nothing to add corrections wise, looks A.O.K (Athens?!) here.

    Just wanted to say this has long been one of my faves, I like that apart from the Mickey Most bit at the end, it’s almost as serious as Soft Verges, well almost.

    Is there anything as depressing an image as who or what a ‘Factory Prankster of the Year’ would be like?

    The Allotments pun, so so clever, is it borrowed or purloined from somewhere or an original NB witticism?

    And the ‘weird’ musing, almost like a call to arms for all the pedants on here.

  2. Steve Malkmoose

    OK I’ll get it started..as someone has to LOL

    To my mind he is clearly referring to the erstwhile Crackerjack ‘funny man’ as Nigel pronounces it in the song as “McCLEAN” (which is how he was introduced on the show, if memory serves); whereas the American Pie man was always to my knowledge pronounced “mcLANE”. Anyone else care to back me up on this?

    Having said that I can see why Nige would think there were merits in killing both of em!

    Oh and by the way surely there’s a “But” before ‘I cant cope…’ ?

  3. Thanks Steve: definitely an omission on my part, but I think it’s and I can’t cope…”

  4. simon smith

    OK, I may have to use a football analogy to try and justify this; In the first phase of play (the arch phase) NB paraphrases the lyrics of American songster Don McLean, a structure he has utilised on many occasions with a myriad of artists.

    In the second phase of play (the pull back and reveal phase) NB, well, pulls back to reveal his Crackerjack credentials and play on the fact Don McLean is both the name of perma-gurning doppelganger of window cleaning Antipodean Mr Cave and deformed thumb tattooed sentimentalist.

    The gift is in knowing the knowing audience will indeed know he has plagiarised Don Mclean`s lyrics and the joke is subtly rendered. Unlike the sledgehammer approach we are using to dissect the frog here. Barry Cryer`s joke springs to mind.

  5. Charles Exford

    One of my favourite songs of this or any other artist, ever. Sums up a whole era in Britain (and on Merseyside especially) for me. Not released in the 80s but defo sums up the 80s.

    Yes, it’s ‘AND I can’t cope’, and it’s also ‘THE father’, same as in American Pie.

    But funnily enough the only word I’d never got before is ‘phone’. Wow, it’s ‘phone’. Wish I understood that line.

    I agree with Simon about the scenario, and I also like to muse that out of the motley gang of four of them on the imaginary train, some of them may believe they are gunning for one person, some for another.

    No coincidence that at the end of each week’s Crackerjack, Glaze, Maclean, Stewart et al used to ‘murder’ current chart hits. Friday about half past five throughout the mid to late 70s was the time the music died, just after the Cabbage Game. Only yesterday I was remembering their quite unforgettable version of Pilot’s “January,” for the obvious reasons.

  6. Charles Exford

    Ha, talk about guilty pleasures. Just spent a very agreable hour on YouTube listening to Medicine Head, and their best known song features a verse starting “and when I call you on the telephone….”

    Maybe the song sums up the 70s even better then :-)

  7. I think Mum was probably listening to Dial-a-Disc.

  8. Steve Malkmoose

    yes of course its “and” not “but”…. will teach me to type from memory without playing the damn song first :P

  9. Dave Betts

    I note with the usual level of macabre interest that both Most and Glaze have shuffled off this mortal coil and Don “American Pie” McLean doesn’t look very well in his Wikipedia picture. I don’t think we can hold Nigel responsible for Mr Glaze’s demise though…

  10. Sim

    A small correction, I think it’s ‘I need pills to help me sleep’ not ‘I need pills to make me sleep’

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