The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Ten past nine, The Borderline

Chris The Siteowner — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 08:57:15 +0000

Secret Gig has always been a bit of a favourite of a lot of people, despite (or perhaps because of) it being so straightforward and simple. Single subject and all that. Also, it’s great live.

See lyrics to Secret Gig

I’d like to rescue her from unicyclists

Chris The Siteowner — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:15:52 +0000

OK, if only to distract attention from arguments about “elms” and “alms”, let’s have another one which is going to encourage some wild speculation. Children of Apocalyptic Techstep is one of those songs where the guitar is occasionally just a bit too forward in the mix for the lyrics analysts. Odd song this, even the hmhb site doesn’t have too much to say about it. Thanks to Peter

See lyrics to Children of Apocalyptic Techstep

Therefore aliens are boring

Chris The Siteowner — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 14:24:58 +0000

I must say thanks to everyone who’s sent in lyrics; they’re all carefully stored here and we will get through all of them eventually, I promise. Every once in a while though I feel the urge to tackle a song which nobody has sent in and which doesn’t appear anywhere on t’internet. And so to On Reaching The Wensum, an odd and ever-so-slightly-obscure effort from Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral which features a rare Norfolk reference. And get this: the TV series “Kingdom” was filmed in Swaffham many years later …and Stephen Fry flies a biplane. Spooky eh?

See lyrics to On Reaching The Wensum

I think I’m right in saying I applauded

Chris The Siteowner — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 09:41:25 +0000

Oooh, another easy one, but one of the cleverest, simplest and perhaps most archetypal Half Man Half Biscuit songs ever. Turn A Blind Eye is a pastiche of a poem of uncertain provenance about the Nazis being allowed to rise to power. It’s also brilliant. Thanks to Jon W and gNick

See lyrics to Turn A Blind Eye

OK, let’s pedestrianise the High Street!

Chris The Siteowner — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 10:46:14 +0000

A nice easy one this (while I pluck up the courage to try Children of Apocalyptic Techstep - all help appreciated). Anyway, You’re Hard has a pop at a number of people who, incredibly, still manage to be irritating ten years later - so they proved to be durable targets. Thanks to gNick and Jon F

See lyrics to You’re Hard

Hear the word ‘aplomb’ being used

Chris The Siteowner — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 11:17:59 +0000

Keeping Two Chevrons Apart is the plaintive album-closer from 1998’s Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral, a track which certainly doesn’t overstay its welcome and features some, er, interesting guitar playing. We have them on the M11 now as well, you know. Chevrons, that is. Not guitars. Thanks to Simon, gNick and Jon F

See lyrics to Keeping Two Chevrons Apart

Get back in your technical area

Chris The Siteowner — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 09:03:39 +0000

You don’t have to like football to find The Referee’s Alphabet amusing - although it’s the sort of song only a lower-league terrace-dweller would be inspired to write. Now even more than when the song was written, umpteen million football fans are screaming “Surely a bit of controversy is part of the game’s appeal?” at the TV every Saturday night when Hansen and company drone on about wanting video replays for refs. Sorry, rant over. Great song. And one of only two Half Man Half Biscuit songs (I think) to mention an Ipswich Town player. Makes me swell with pride, it does. Thanks to (deep breath) Jon F, Paul, gNick and Mr Larrington.

See lyrics to The Referee’s Alphabet

Squid yes, not so octopus

Chris The Siteowner — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 08:34:34 +0000

Them’s The Vagaries is (of course) another bunch of amusing observations; I don’t know why I find the “squid” line so funny. Regarding the “aviaries” stuff at the end, Nigel said: “Yeah, that’s where we do get silly. Sometimes I don’t care. But you can’t be stern-faced all your life.” Thanks to EskimoEric, Paul and Max

See lyrics to Them’s The Vagaries

And is it home to sharks?

Chris The Siteowner — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 11:37:40 +0000

I’d better get a move on, we have more subscribers to the blog now than songs transcribed. It’s also time to get on with Cammell Laird Social Club. Anyway, San Antonio Foam Party has a go at officialdom assuming it knows what you think (see also A Country Practice) and suggests Britain’s two best tennis players at the time of the end of the century party were robots. And the relevance of the title of the song? I’ve no idea. Thanks to Rob

See lyrics to San Antonio Foam Party

And you can thank your lucky stars that you’re not

Chris The Siteowner — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 13:15:31 +0000

I’ve tried to concentrate on the later songs on this site, because the oldies are already well documented on various places around Teh Interweb; however, I’m adding The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman just to stop any more people sending in the lyrics (thanks, by the way!). And in case you’re wondering, “Dean emphatically denies this claim“, which is nice. Thanks to Neil, Nigel, Dave, EskimoEric and possibly others whose emails I’ve lost.

See lyrics to The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman