The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Busking this at Embankment Tube tomorrow

179 pop songs picked over by pedants

HMHB Lyrics Quoted in the Media

Oh what a frightening world it can be. Then suddenly, the most unexpected source quotes Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics at you, and all is right again. Gratuitous, inappropriate, calculated or amusingly impromptu: if you read or hear any Half Man Half Biscuit lyrics being broadcast or quoted in print, embarrass or applaud the author in the box below. Double marks (to them) if they don’t explain what they’re doing.

303 Letters Sent:
  1. Simon Mayo Show, Radio 5 Live, 3 October 2008

    Mark Kermode (starting to rant): “…that’s the whole point of Roger Corman movies, is that it lingers on the violence. I mean, it’s the whole thing about what’s ‘Jaws’ if not a Roger Corman movie with a budget, well, what’s ‘Death Race’ if not a Roger Corman movie with a budget, but without the lingering violence? I don’t want that thank you very much”

    Mayo: “What’s Chatteris if you’re not there?”

    Kermode (missing it completely): “Yes.”

  2. David Lloyd, skysports.com, 8 October 2008

    “Last Sunday I did a Desert Island Discs-style programme on Radio Kent with Roger Day, who got me on the show to play ten of my favourite songs. It went really well, apart from the fact they didn’t play my two favourites: ‘No Bulbs’ by The Fall and ‘Lord Hereford’s Knob’ by Half Man Half Biscuit. Apparently they couldn’t find them, which is a poor effort when they’re readily available on iTunes.”

  3. 3

    RobJ

    Bumble has been rather prolific in bringing HMHB to the masses. I think the official site quotes him from a live match on Sky Sports describing Geraint Jones’s wicket-kepping attire as “Joy Division Oven Gloves”

  4. 4

    Petrovic

    Simon Mayo again: slipped a deadpan “Dean Friedman” into a discussion of pianos/Burn After Reading in this week’s Kermode reviews. No reaction from Kermode.

  5. 5

    Neil G

    Very good article in the Times today about the link between sport and music. There is a ‘top 40′ of songs associated with music. Bob Dylan comes top with ‘Hurricane’. I’d go along with that. HMHB get two mentions in the top 40 – I Was A Teenage Armchair Honved Fan at number 36 and Bob Wilson Anchorman at number 10. Dukla Prague gets a mention in the body of the text (although the full title of the song is not given, a dreadful oversight) but, alas does not get to its rightful place at number 2 in the chart. Inexplicably, it gets nowhere at all. I think everyone should send the Times an e-mail threatening not to buy their paper any more until they print an apology.

    Anyway, here’s the link.

  6. 6

    Neil G

    Oops, mistake there. It should be songs associated with sport, not songs associated with music. Most songs are associated with music in some small way, I suppose, however bad they may be.

  7. 7

    Rob

    Thanks for the link Neil, I’m going to write to them and ask them if they’ve heard of Fred Titmus.

    Away from HMHB, I’m sure that they could have found room for The Pogues.

  8. 8

    Dave F.

    Cheers Neil

    As well as the omission of DPAK, they left out completely The Hitchers who’s song Strachan is one that epitomizes the anguish of football/relationships. They also did one called ’4:30… Two Down’.

  9. 9

    Blue Badge Abuser

    I’ve just posted on the Times website, suggesting their researcher for the article be sacked!

  10. 10

    Blue Badge Abuser

    I’m outraged. The Times Online website has not posted my comment…

  11. 11

    Neil G

    I’ve been thinking about these sport songs for a while and one kept coming into my mind – Night Game by Paul Simon from Still Crazy After All These Years. It is one of the most beautiful songs I know and it’s about baseball, or at least it takes baseball as its base, if you like. If you don’t know it, have a listen. Here are the words, if that’s allowed.

    There were two men down
    And the score was tied
    In the bottom of the eighth
    When the pitcher died

    And they laid his spikes
    On the pitcher’s mound
    And his uniform was torn
    And his number was left on the ground

    Then the night turned cold
    Colder than the moon
    The stars were white as bones
    The stadium was old
    Older than the screams
    Older than the teams
    There were three men down
    And the season lost
    And the tarpaulin was rolled
    Upon the winter frost

    This song makes me cry. And I don’t know the first thing about baseball.

  12. 12

    Ben G H

    If you go to the ‘Don’t Read This, Read That’ section on this website you’ll find a Guardian article by somebody called Kevin Sampson. In the piece he mentions the song “Fuckin’ Hell! It’s Fred Titmuss, and he describes him as ‘Firey Yorkshire Pace Legend’. Mr Sampson is clearly confusing Fred Titmuss (6 toed former Middlesex and Surrey spin bowler) with ‘Firey Yorkshire Pace Legend – Fred (‘I’ll see thee’) Trueman! Classic Guardian mistake!

  13. 13

    Ben G H

    Oh, and another thing. I really did see Fred Titmuss once. In Hemel Hempstead. I may not have said ‘Fuckin Ell, it’s Fred Titmuss. It would probably have been. ‘Is that? Yes it is – look – it’s Fred Titmuss. Fancy that!’ or something along those lines! This was in 1982 I hasten to add. Before the song was released!
    Funny that!

  14. 14

    dj

    kevin sampson is a liverpool based writer who i think used to be the farm’s manager. he has written several books the most memorable being awaydays which is about football casuals and powder which is a bout a rock band. wouldn’t really expect him to know much about cricket to be fair

  15. 15

    Dave Wiggins

    Great site this. Remember that woman from ‘Casualty’ or ‘Holby City’ moaning on, I think, Dick and Dom one Saturday morning, that her local store didn’t sell any Half Man Half Biscuit? Or – a more prosaic one this – some high falutin’ businessman, on the Euston to Lime Street train, quoting ‘Time Flies By’ (but, criminally, attributing it to Attila the Stockbroker). I was forced to interject.

    Yeah, I know I’m off the point here, but whatever . . . .

  16. 16

    Ben G H

    Fair enough – but I would expect him to know that the gurning baldie whose head Benny Hill was given to slapping was in fact John ‘Jackie’ Wright and not Bob Todd!

  17. 17

    Dave Wiggins

    The Liverpool Echo’s Paddy Shennan is fantastic at getting HMHB references in most of his articles. As, indeed, is the Everton fanzine When Skies are Grey (this month saw a line that read, “yeah, okay, so I had a Kojak, but by Christ it was trendy at the time”).

  18. 18

    Ben

    Wiggins! You shameless self-publicist!

    Hawksbee and Jacobs (the only thing worth listening to) on Talksport, introduced an interview today with some bloke who’d written a book about Subbuteo, with the inevitable couple of verses of AIWFCIADPAK.

  19. 19

    s.g.d.,a Shropshire lad

    Has anyone mentioned that HMHB are on a listening post in the football museum in Preston? I think that it’s Friday Night and the Gates are Low.

  20. 20

    Paul F

    Kevin Sampson is an acquaintance of Nigel’s. Nigel gets a mention in Sampson’s book relating a year in the life of a Liverpool fan (1997-98 I think) when Sampson (talking to John Barnes) tries to take the credit for a spectacular goal scored by Nigel in a charity match. Good book, well worth a read (as is most of Sampson’s stuff).

    My own (small) contribution to HMHB in print is a letter to the Guardian quoting from “The Light at the End of the Tunnel” in response to a senior Met officer bemoaning the prevalence of cocaine at middle class dinner parties.

  21. 21

    Giles Pattison

    December edition of Word, page108, caption to a picture of Annika Line Trost reads “Careful now, that swan could break your arm”. (She is seated next to said swan, and by the look of her knee they have already partaken in a bit of biffo)

  22. 22

    simon smith

    And on page 84 of the same journal?

  23. 23

    Evilnick

    Not sure exactly when this was originally broadcast but I’m sure I heard references in both Newcastle kids show Byker Grove “Got any Half Man Half Biscuit, man?” and in Mum’s favourite soap opera Coronation Street when a younger but still eerily vampiric Steve McDonald sang a few lines to one of the earlier songs.

  24. 24

    Hoagy

    They were indeed mentioned on Byker Grove and here’s the YouTube link to prove it – http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=usyn9sBFMHo

  25. Fantastic. And – as YouTube always manages to do – this led me to something I’d never seen before: No Regrets with Margi Clarke. What was the story behind that?

  26. 26

    s.g.d.,a Shropshire lad

    Phil Jupitus was naming bands on “Arumental” and said “Half Man Half Biscuit” when a picture of Peter Stringfellow( i think,I didn’t spin ’round quick enough) was shown.

    s.g.d.

  27. 27

    Richard

    Football Focus (29/11/08) has just interviewed Brad Friedel, and played of course “I Went To A Wedding…”

    None of the presenters know the band which is a bit disappointing; they should have had Bumble as a special guest.

  28. 28

    RobJ

    I heard that Brad Friedel was mildly impressed and was looking forward to telling his wife.

  29. I don’t know if this counts, as it’s merely a report of some HMHB lyrics being quoted, and I don’t know if there’s a statute of limitations on this, but…

    This is from an interview with Eddie Argos in the Guardian last year, talking about a conversation with Liam Gallagher:

    “I said to him, ‘Us supporting you is like Half Man Half Biscuit supporting U2,’ and he goes, ‘Half Man Half Biscuit? Noel used to play them all the time.’ Then he sang me a bit of Trumpton Riots. I thought, Christ, this is strange, Liam Gallagher is singing Trumpton Riots by Half Man Half Biscuit to me.” A deafening laugh. “It was brilliant.”

  30. Here is the Brad Friedel/Football Focus thing.

  31. 31

    Petrovic

    Eddie Argos is on record as being a HMHB fan – have a look at this. Moreover I’m pretty sure I saw him at the Forum gig last month.

  32. 32

    Jan

    You did indeed see him there. And I was with him!

  33. 33

    Daryl

    Re: Brad Friedel incident

    Perhaps someone should play ‘Lock up Your Mountain Bikes’ to Garth Crooks?

  34. Kudos to Ian King of The Times today for shoehorning in a big HMHB reference into a story about kids’ names:

    The vogue in recent years has been for names such as Fred or Archie – which, as the indie-rock group Half Man Half Biscuit memorably pointed out, boast “cheeky but loveable working class scamp connotations”.

    The Biscuits, incidentally, warn middle-class mums to avoid such names – “unless you really do have plans for him to spend his life at William Hill’s waiting for them to weigh in at Newton Abbot”.

  35. Well, we tried: National Shite Day made number 18 and Blue Badge Abuser made number 27 in Word magazine’s Festive Fifty. Not that impressive really for one of the few magazines which regularly covers the band.

  36. I shoehorned one into Hawksbee and Jacobs on ShoutSh1te yesterday. They were asking for words that are only ever used with football connotations and I predictably managed to get – “Apart from on commentary, where else on earth can you hear the word ‘aplomb’ being used?” – read out verbatim by PH.

  37. 37

    Simon

    A lengthy quote from Breaking News in The Times, no less.

    I can practically guarantee that the writer never tried to spell out an interviewee’s laugh.

    Thanks for the site.

  38. 38

    s.g.d.,a Shropshire lad

    …going worldwide for one small mention

  39. 39

    Charles Exford

    Ha, “stuff like Half Man Half Biscuit”, eh ? They obviously have some great little unknown bands hidden away in South Africa.

  40. 40

    San Luis Obispo

    A little tenuous/frivolous this – but – I can’t believe no-one’s mentioned Baroness Vadera and her “Green shoots of recovery” slip…

    Admittedly, it did take me the best part of a day running the quote over in my under-employed mind, but eventually it stuck:

    “The fearsome hollow boom of the older boys in the deep end.
    The green shoots of recovery shrivelled up in harsh tomorrows.
    Left to pick dry sticks and mumble to myself;
    A melancholic emblem of parish cruelty…”

    Her Bad Review was perhaps fitting, then. ‘hem.

  41. 41

    Paul F

    Congratulations to Fredorrarci by the way (whose name is effectively a HMHB quote I suppose) for his part in highlighting a Times sports journalist with less than thorough research skills

  42. 42

    Rob

    Fredorrarci’s handle reminds me of Adam Federici, Reading’s goalkeeper. Anyway, ‘Cammell Laird Social Club’ gets a mention in this month’s When Saturday Comes.

  43. And yes, the name is a very lame bastardisation of a HMHB lyric. I reek of cheeky but loveable working class scamp connotations, me.

  44. 45

    Lee

    This one is a bit vague, shortly after the new album was released last summer I was stuck in traffic and trying to avoid all the usual on the radio ended up listening to radio four, the announcer introduced the next item about forensic evidence and policing and said something like, “now what do you do on discovering a body before csi:ambleside or whoever turn up”. dont know who he was sorry.

  45. 46

    Charles Exford

    OK then, I just wanted the honour of having my little bit of verse appear somewhere on this brilliant site.

    Graham Poll appears to be everywhere in the media at the moment, and I must reluctantly admit he is actually proving to be bloody good at it. We should never forget his incompetence in 2006 though, and I just thought I’d share a tribute (to Mr. Blackwell, rather than Mr. Poll) which I performed on Five Live the day after the Australia Croatia “3 yellows make a red” game.

    Graham Poll’s Alphabet

    A is for Australians, so friendly to me
    B is for Being Britain’s Biggest-name Referee

    C is for Counting Cards and Cursing Croatians
    D is for Diving – AKA simulation

    E is EVERYTHING, which thanks to ME this game had
    F is for Fourth Official – his night was just as bad !

    G is for Ghost writer – I’m going to need one
    H is my Hero – Clive Thomas I’m modelled on

    I is for Intentional, which handball needs to be
    And for Invisible, which it often is to me

    J is the Jet Plane that I’m leaving on
    K is for K.O-ed, my final hopes, GONE !

    L, of Course is for Letting the game Flow
    & L is the fine LINE to Losing Control

    M is for Mark Viduka, and our mutual admiration
    N is non-verbal, I don’t speak Croatian

    O is for my forthcoming Optician’s appointment
    Pre-booked, 10th July, pass me the Ointment

    P is for being Pushed, isn’t that a Red card ?
    Maybe, but showing 2 cards at once is so hard.

    Q is for Questioning my parentage, and decisions
    R is for Rugby tackles in unsighted positions

    S is for Sepp Blatter, such a tactful fellow
    and T is for a groundbreaking Triple Yellow

    U is Unclear. Unrepentant. Unconsoleable
    V is for Video Refs, to make things controllable.

    W is the World Cup Final Whistler. Woe is me !
    and X is for being an X-referee

    X is also the Xmas card lists I won’t be on
    Like ex-Yugoslavia my name is …. gone

    and Y are the former Yugoslavians, Yelling at me,
    and Z is Zagreb, where I’ll never again referee

    Or Zeljko, Ozzie keeper, another comedy act.
    Or Zlatko, the Croatian boss, like me – sacked.

  46. 47

    Ben

    For those of you (wisely) not dicking around with Facebook, you may like to see – from the “HMHB Appreciation Society” group on there – that Dean ‘Yes that one’ Friedman posted a whole song about Nigel Blackwell. The full background story is here.

  47. 48

    Richard

    Observer – letters in the Sport section, they asked for the official best football songs ever. Two HMHB entries printed, The referees alphabet and Bob Wilson – Anchorman. You can send further entries to the.agenda@observer.co.uk.

    As one of the readers noted HMHB could fill an album with football songs. My favourite? I was a teenage armchair Honved fan.

  48. 49

    Billy Hubble

    Respectable mention for HMHB on cricinfo.com dating back to 2006:

    F***ing Hell, It’s Fred Titmus – Half Man Half Biscuit
    Once described as the “most authentic British band since The Clash”, Half Man, Half Biscuit was a sharp-witted four-piece rock band from Birkenhead, in the Wirral. A by-product of Thatcher’s Britain, the band announced itself in 1986 with the album “Back in the DHSS”, which was recorded for just 30 pounds and yet sold more than 200,000 copies. According to Nigel Blackwell, the lead singer, guitarist and surreally talented writer, “one of my fantasies was to have a load of folk shouting something ridiculous like ‘F**king Hell, it’s Fred Titmus!’ back at the stage as a counterblast to all those rock acts whose audience would hold their lighters aloft during some Godforsaken dross concerning ‘a girl no longer with us due to flagrant disregard of the speed limit by persons unknown’. Much more fun thought I to have ‘em shouting the name of a Middlesex spin bowler. Certainly more believable anyway, I think.” Other songs by HMHB included “Hedley Verity-esque,” and “Christian Rock Concert”, which included a reference to Wendy Wimbush, the legendary former Test Match Special scorer … playing on a spacehopper …

  49. 50

    Dave Wiggins

    Some wag persists in writing to the Liverpool Echo, pretending (?) to be a senior citizen who is fed up of things like drive-by shoutings, bus drivers who pull away too quickly, and youths with japanese fighting dogs. He also bemoaned the demise of ‘fine chandlers’, recently. If you read this site, mate, I salute you, whoever you are.

  50. 51

    Poolio

    Feb 18th, 2009
    Page 19 Manchester Metro:

    Best things in life:

    At long last someone has created a Google map of every place ever mentioned in a Half Man Half Biscuit Song.

  51. 52

    nigel (no, not that one)

    ‘All I Want for Christmas Is a Dukla Prague Away Kit’ made an appearance in The Guardian’s 1000 songs everyone must hear – party songs.

    Can’t quite see how it’s a party song, but musn’t grumble

  52. 54

    pjdoyle

    This is from the Irish Independent (13/02/09).

    I would have added it sooner, but just discovered this website today.

    http://i43.tinypic.com/zpsnm.jpg

  53. 55

    Ben

    On Ken Bruce’s show today he was having a bit of back and forth with the traffic reporter (for once not the hideous harridan Lynn Bowles); he quizzed her on whether she’d discovered the joy of writing on a banana, I could have crashed my car when 5 minutes later he read out someones text “I understand Half Man Half Biscuit sang about writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro”

    Ken Bruce and HMHB – That can cause a rip in the space/time continuum

  54. I edit football website FourFourTwo.com and we recently had a themed week about music and football. Someone suggested we run a blog on songs mentioning football. Fine, said I, filing it – but there’s a band of such towering genius that they require their own blog on the topic.

    So I wrote that, too.

  55. 58

    Neil G

    Gary,
    Great articles.

  56. 59

    Ben

    Great read Gary – more Brentford stuff in the ‘Planet Football’ section too please.

  57. 60

    Charles Exford

    Great article Gary, really enjoyed that, spreads the word nicely & helps the lads shift some product units too no doubt.

    [in no way a criticism, but do we detect that you perhaps haven't got the 'Saucy Haulage Ballads' EP in your collection, with its top togger references in at least 3 songs, culminating in the majestic 'foot up in Europe' song-within-a-song ? ]

  58. 61

    Chesney wold

    Just wanted to say that’s an excellent article Gary. I’ve been a Biscuits fan for 20 years but that made me re-evaluate how fantastic they really are and I’ll be highlighting it to some of my less HMHB enthusiastic (because it’s too much effort) friends to show them what is actually what. Great stuff.

  59. 62

    grilly

    there appears to be a game called ‘squid yes! not so octopus’. i think this is wonderful. http://tigsource.com/articles/2009/05/19/squid-yes-not-so-octopus-squid-harder

  60. 63

    Dave Wiggins

    Great stuff, Gary, and there are probably even more references (as Chesney Wold indicated above). The link is now sweeping my office and beyond.

  61. 64

    Paul F

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2009/jun/18/classic-youtube-tiger-woods

    Some good stuff in this week’s Guardian youtube round-up.

  62. No more than a passing mention but the oblique reference is deliberate and possibly the first HMHB reference in a Times business comment:

    http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/columnists/article6201851.ece

  63. 66

    Dave F.

    Just listening to recording of the Radcliffe & Maconie from the 18th of June where regular TV/Radio reviewer Noddy Holder was talking about a program about comedy acts.

    They each chose a favourite of theirs from the genre. Maconie chose Running Order Squabble Fest.
    It was preceded by them quoting lyrics/song title (surprisingly Maconie many from the recent album).
    Noddy seemed jubilant at them being selected – “lyrically they are just superb”.

    They wanted to use Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred Titmus in an up coming Cricket themed show, but were felt unable to do so for obvious reasons

  64. 67

    Paul F

    Fantastic work by Ian King in The Times! Thanks for highlighting Matthew.

  65. 68

    Paul F

    Regarding The Times piece – I suspect some poor TimesOnline moderator is now getting inundated with comments to review which seem to make no sense whatsoever – such as my “Well they have to pay for the golf weekend somehow”.

  66. 69

    Ricardo

    From Mike Atherton’s column in The Times today, “Wasn’t it noticeable how quick the bowlers were in the World Twenty20, when the light at the end of the tunnel wasn’t that of an oncoming train?” Has he been rifling through Bumble’s record collection?

  67. youtube video off the best of David Lloyd (Skysports commentator)

    Mention at 6 mins 15 seconds for HMHB…Apparantly it can get quite quiet in the commentary box…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XDnOtU3r2k

  68. 71

    SIMON FORAN

    From Andrew (working from home), TMS inbox: “There’s a Half Man Half Biscuit song which rhymes Lech Walesa with Marks and Spencer. Mike Gatting looks at bit like Lech.”

    Also:
    From Matt, TMS inbox: “I’d imagine that when you were looking for the correct spelling of ‘Leaden’ the reason Half man Half Biscuit came up was because of the classic album of theirs called ‘This Leaden Pall’. In my opinion their finest work.”

    Above can be found here

  69. 72

    SIMON FORAN

    Page last updated at 09:10 GMT, Friday, 21 August 2009 10:10 UK
    E-mail this to a friend Printable version

    Live Ashes – England v Australia

    Live video scorecard – England v Australia

    Fifth Ashes Test, The Oval, day two:

    LIVE TEXT COMMENTARY (all times BST)

    No need to reload page, content below updates automatically. More info
    e-mail tms@bbc.co.uk (with ‘For Mark Mitchener’ in the subject), text 81111 (with “CRICKET” as first word) or use 606 (Not all comments can be used)

    By Mark Mitchener

    AUSTRALIA FIRST INNINGS

    And again :

    1405:Sun is shining over The Oval. The weather is sweet yeah. Makes you wanna move your dancing feet.

    From kinkster, via text on 81111: “On the subject of Half Man Half Biscuit they opened a recent set with one of their more famous songs about Fred Titmus. I think we could make good use of his skills right now.”

  70. 73

    Helen

    Mike McCahill reviewing ‘Antichrist’, the new film from Lars Von Trier in the Sunday Telegraph Magazine (26.07.09); “Gainsbourg wan, bereft, depressed beyond tablets…”

  71. 74

    simon smith

    Three weeks of Danny Baker`s new Saturday morning show and two separate HMHB references already. I`ll have to pore over the recording to extract the precise wording. I know what you buggers are like :-)

  72. Ooh please, I’m a couple of weeks behind on the podcasts. Funny, I can’t imagine a broadcaster more likely – in theory – to be a fan of HMHB than Baker, and yet I can’t ever recall him having mentioned them.

  73. 76

    Dave

    I remember Danny Baker on Radio 5 in the morning years ago mentioning A Lilac Harry Quinn, raving about the rhyme ‘I didn’t need much time convincing her, baby I’m from the Wirral peninsula’. I’m not sure if he might have actually played the track.

  74. 77

    chesneywold

    just thought i’d say that i know m mccahill and he is indeed a massive hmhb fan…the sly dog, wonder if he’s put any more out there.

  75. 78

    chesneywold

    oo and i’ve just remembered that something technical or other on shooting stars, i guess digital effects or something, was by a company called half man half pixel. Good pun i reckon.

  76. 79

    Trev

    I know Ian King well from when he was city editor at the sun where I edit the racing. Top bloke. We used to have hmhb conversations to the general bemusement of those around us – except charlie wyett the football writer who is another fan

  77. 80

    chesneywold

    is this an appropriate place to ask for a job trev? I’ve just been made redundant and i’ve done a bit of work for the racing post.

  78. 81

    John Anderson

    I know Dave Kidd another Sun football writer is also a fan. So is Nigel Adderley the BBC 5 Live commentator who collapsed at West Ham last week but is now thankfully on the mend. He’s a Tranmere fanatic who knows Nigel Blackwell and introduced me to him after the Mean Fiddler gig a few years ago. Sky News sports presenter Chris Skudder also likes them.

  79. 82

    Richard

    Guardian letters 10 October”
    ‘Liverpool gave us the Beatles, but the Wirral gave us HMHB’

  80. 83

    Mr Larrington

    “Material World” on R4 yesterday; Quentin Cooper is discussing SCIENCE, or rather the lack thereof, in SCIENCE-fiction, with a couple of scientists and posited that perhaps the public can get all the SCIENCE it needs from sources such as “Silent Witness and CSI: Ambleside”.

    Were it not for the fact the the M11 was, as usual, corked up tighter than a cat’s bum, a helplessly giggling Mr Larrington would probably have been found buried in the armco.

    Note from Chris: Greatest find ever. I found this almost too hard to believe. But he’s right, you know – check it out. Is there a Quentin Cooper appreciation page?

  81. 84

    Ben

    On Marc Riley’s 6 Music Show last night, he had a band called ‘The Hornblower Brothers’ in who cited HMHB as an influence. Asked what their favourite album was they said ‘CSI-Ambleside’ which unfortunately marked them down as newbies in my book.

  82. 85

    Al

    CSI Ambleside was Marc Rileys favourite not The Hornblower Brothers!

  83. 87

    Mr Larrington

    Outstanding!

  84. 88

    s.g.d. a ShropshireLad

    The latest issue of When Saturday Comes quotes from “Friday Night and the Gates are Low”, it is in an article about Tranmere so only to be expected.

  85. 89

    Richard Parker

    Another HMHB reference (well not exactly, but knowing he is a fan I’m sure we all know what he meant!) on the Danny Baker show this week (Sat 14th Nov).

    “Irrational turn-ons, I don’t know what it is, but there is something deeply satisfying about this, bordering on the erotic, a biro on the sole of a plimsole”

  86. “…raising awareness of awareness itself…”

    The Onion seems to have been listening to Breaking News

  87. 91

    Paul F

    I saw that as well Chris, and that’s what I thought!

  88. Not exactly “lyrics in the media”, but worth highlighting the blurb on the Cambridge Junction website to accompany the forthcoming gig:

    Named after a little known Tarkovsky film, this brass-tinged five piece from Rhosesmor have recently toured with the likes of Chris Rea and Patti Boulaye as well as being the subjects of a documentary on cable channel E! Entertainment entitled In Transit.

    Never knowingly in tune, Half Man Half Biscuit are performing various dates around Salop in order to promote their latest album What Dread this Upon the Spume?

  89. 93

    Dave Kidd

    You’ll all have to start reading The People, I’ve mentioned the Biscuits three or four times in my column. And besides, we need the readers.

    I’m sitting here surfing aimlessly so as to avoid watching ‘I’m A Celebrity’ with my missus, and find out that Trev who I worked with for many years is also a big HMHB fan and I never knew. The Sun newsroom was a hotbed of Biscuit fans, it seems. Ian King mentioned the Biscuits in the Currant Bun in his time there too. Trev, Charlie Wyett isn’t a fan, it was me, pal!

  90. 94

    Bobby Chariot

    Lewd acts? That’s my restless leg syndrome, says doctor in indecency courts case.

    The above headline appeared in the South Wales Echo on 21st November 2009.

    “A children’s doctor says his restless legs and his habit of keeping a hankie on his lap in case he sneezes might have given schoolgirls the wrong idea that he was performing lewd acts on himself …….. He said he had had a habit of jiggling his legs aound since he was a child – a problem since diagnosed as restless legs syndrome – and if he was sitting there with his hands on his lap, his arms would have been moving too.”

    The full report can be read here.

  91. 95

    Dave Wiggins

    Dave Kidd – I love your ‘People’ column, mate! Can I also be the first to mention Helen Chamberlain quoting from ‘Even Men With Steel Hearts’ on Soccer AM, 5 December?

  92. 96

    Colin

    Brief mention on Soccer Am by Helen Chamberlain on HMHB “Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch” before showing a clip of a cat at a La Liga game.. tenuous i know but hey it brightened up my sat morn

  93. 97

    simon smith

    Perhaps an attempt to curry favour after NB`s `Wilf Rostron` stand `slur` in live renditions of `Paintball…`

  94. 98

    simon smith

    Sorry, that should read `Luther Grosvenor` stand. He was a member of `Bev Bevan`s Mott The Hoople`.

  95. Radio Four’s Today programme played an excerpt from
    “Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch” this morning, and also mentioned “The Referee’s Alphabet” and “Mathematically Safe”, during an article by Gideon Coe on sporting songs.

    It can be heard here (starting at 2.48)

  96. 100

    Mr Larrington

    My friend Sir Hugh of Hugh pointed me at Mr. J. Nash’s partly excellent piece of Webby SCIENCE, where I found this:

    http://orsomething.co.uk/160/14-unfortunate-spin-offs/

    Number 11.

  97. 101

    Richard Parker

    Again Simon Mayo, on his new Radio 2 drivetime show last week was doing a feature on restless leg syndrome; he was interviewing a doctor about it, and quoted the classic song from Acthung Bono, asking if “a milky drink and Sudafed would actually sort you out”. Apparently it might, according to the doctor!

    Mr Mayo is indeed a fan.

    Note: Podcast is available in the usual places if you want to hear the actual conversation. It’s mentioned on his blog too

  98. 102

    Petrovic

    Dunno whether this counts, but Gideon Coe played some Tallulah Gosh in his show last night.

  99. 103

    Charles Exford

    I think it hardly even counts if Gideon’s bibble mentions HMHB, never mind mere passing mentions of the bands that HMHB mention.

    But anyway, for what it’s worth, upon today’s announcement of the demise of Salinger, Coe apparently asked tonight which HMHB song mentions ‘Catcher in the Rye’ and was informed by listener “Viv, half asleep in Leeds” that it was “Ordinary to Enschede“.

  100. 104

    GREASBY SHARK

    Tenuous, I know, but did anyone else see the article in today’s Guardian on Restless Leg Syndrome??

  101. A bit of unlikely sarcasm (I think), in today’s “Instant Expert” section in The Times’s Playlist section –

    “What to say about…
    The new album by Babybird

    Apparently Johnny Depp thinks Babybird is an underrated national treasure. So what? Brad Pitt is a massive Half Man Half Biscuit fan but you don’t hear him banging on about it.”

    Very good. I suspect the writer of the piece, Ben Machell, is a fan, especially with his use of the phrase, “national treasure”.
    Ben, we salute you.

  102. 106

    Paul F

    Another reference from Mr Mayo. He read out a “tweet” the other day saying “You can lead a horse to water but a pencil must be lead”, properly attributing it to Laurel and Hardy, but given his history I’m sure he picked that one to read out because of its HMHB relevance.

  103. For those of us obsessed with Twitter, today has been the greatest day ever. Just take a look. I never thought I’d see that.

    If you’re reading this in the future (what’s it like? Is everyone wearing shiny white suits and stuff?) then this next link might not show much, but today, it looks like magic:
    http://twitter.com/#search?q=joy%20division%20oven%20gloves

  104. 109

    Richard Parker

    Half Man Half Biscuit’s Joy Division Oven Gloves is the number one trending topic on Twitter in London, after being played by Gideon Coe on BBC6 music this morning

    Also Dean Friedman is on twitter and has just posted the following “How many times do I have to say this, I never even met Nigel Blackwell’s mum!”

    Richard

  105. 110

    Charles Exford

    You’re not Richard ‘Harvey’ Parker from Co. Durham aged about 47 are you?

    [I wouldn't normally ask that just from your name, but I used to share a flat and a copy of The Trumpton Riots EP with said character ...plus last time I asked someone on an HMHB mailing list if they were someone I last saw 20-odd years ago, it turned out they were]

  106. 111

    Richard Parker

    No its not me, I’m 39 and from Essex, sorry.

  107. 112

    Dave F.

    Mr. Larrington, Could you post the text of that Metro article here please?

    Both Firefox & IE are playing silly buggers with me & only displaying the (huge) amount of advertising.

    Ta

  108. 113

    Mr Larrington

    @Dave F:

    ‘Joy Division Oven Gloves’ sparks fresh Twitter calls to Save 6 Music

    Half Man Half Biscuit’s track ‘Joy Divison Oven Gloves’ has rallied Twitter users into fresh calls to save BBC 6 Music after Gideon Coe played the song on his morning radio show.

    The recent campaign to save the stricken 6 Music radio station has taken an comical turn this morning after Joy Division Oven Gloves appears to have become the song of choice for protesters.

    Fighting against the BBC decision to close both 6 Music and The Asian Network, users on Twitter have bombarded the microblogging site with tweets relating to the song by relatively unknown act Half Man Half Biscuit.

    The search term “Joy Division Oven Gloves” went to the top of the Twitter’s UK trending list this morning as a result of the campaign.

    The song was played this morning by Gideon Coe on his 6 Music radio show, and has instantly become a hit with listeners and users across the world.

    Half Man Half Biscuit has produced such classic tracks as “Seal Clubbing” and “All I want for Christmas is a Dulka (sic) Prague away kit” though top of the YouTube charts seems to be “Paintball’s coming home”.

    The BBC announced on Tuesday that they would be closing 6 Music as part of a £600m money saving directive, designed to promote “high quality content and distribution by 2013″.

  109. 114

    Rowan

    Andrew Collings mentioned Running Order Squabble Fest on his 6 music Saturday show, not last Saturday, but the one before. In his excitement he misquotes it as “…half past twelve? half past twelve?”, but I think he gets points for trying. It gave my heart a lift, that’s for sure. Podcast no longer available, sadly

  110. 115

    Swanaldo

    There’s still plenty of time to let the BBC know what you think re: 6Music.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbctrust/consultations/departments/bbc/bbc-strategy-review/consultation/consult_view

    (Quite frankly, any radio station that plays Joy Division Oven Gloves at five to nine in the morning is a bit special and must be saved at all costs. I actually pogo-ed gleefully into my colleague when they played it.)

  111. 116

    Charles Exford

    Hear, hear. Apart from anything else we need an outlet for any new sessions in future. As a proportion of air-time I reckon Gideon Coe gives far more attention to HMHB even than Peel did and this must continue.

    A direct e-mail to srconsultation@bbc.co.uk is the route they have been plugging on air.

    I bet someone would have asked Nige to “get involved” in do a worthy Guy Garvey (?) style protest voiceover, if Geoff hadn’t been in Morocco. Not that I reckon Nigel would have wanted to “get involved”.

    But LETTERS MUST BE SENT. It’s what it’s all about.

  112. 117

    John

    On wednesday (17th march 2010), Lammo, Riley & Co(e) re going to play all of the bands mentioned in “Irk the Purists”

  113. The full rundown on the inaugural Festival of Irk is here, courtesy of Charles Exford Esq.

  114. 120

    Dave F.

    Tonight in an episode of a drama on ITV Married, Single, Other (which is too bad, even with Ralf Little in it), an ambulance driving paramedic said that she had an overdose victim in the back; but not to worry as it was probably from Haliborange.

  115. 121

    Swanaldo

    In posh persons’ magazine Exeter Living, a picture of a steam train with the caption “Time flies by when you’re the driver of a train, well according to Half Man, Half Biscuit anyway”

  116. 122

    Sandii

    Is anyone watching The One Show right now, where they’re talking about Restless Leg Syndrome?

  117. 123

    Jase

    Re: Fred Titmuss

    There’s only one “s” in Titmus…………..

  118. 124

    Alan K

    Did anyone else catch the small piece in the Independent on Saturday magazine? Its was an item called ‘Minor British Institutions’ and was all about HMHB; listing quite a lot of their songs and thanking them. It’s online here.

  119. 125

    Ricardo

    Helen Chamberlain (again, see Colin’s post from December 9th) on Soccer AM today, “Even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch.” Over a clip of, er, a dog on the pitch.

  120. 126

    Godsy

    Jonathan Meades – Abroad Again (2007) – Episode 4 – Heaven: Folkwoven In England, 20 minutes 14 seconds, a fair portion of “Time Flies By (When You’re A Driver Of A Train)” is played. Jonathan Meades and HMHB. Beautiful.

    And here it is on YouTube – Ed

  121. 127

    Mark J

    Just watchin the 20/20 cricket on sky -in the commentary box, David Lloyd mentioned Simon & Garfunkel to Nick Knight, Knight said he knew them but didn’t know any of their songs, Lloyd, quick as a flash, said ‘Trouble over Bridgewater’ was their best known work.

  122. 128

    Barney

    Stumbled upon a World Cup blog (well WC at the moment but looking through the archives there’s also other stuff including lots of non-league football) which appears to be using HMHB lyrics as post titles.

    It also seems to be trying to predict the games by seeing which national animal would win in a fight! Most strange.

    Am I Supposed to be At Home

  123. 129

    Dave F.

    Don’t know where else to put this general HMHB news, but Marc Riley’s just announced he’s trying to get them in for a session sometime in August.

    Nigel usually seems to only do sessions when he has new songs, so hopefully an album is in the pipeline.

  124. Paddy Shennan in the Liverpool Echo gets a bit apologetic about a lyrics quote.

  125. 131

    Dave Betts

    I’m glad it’s not just me and Mr B that like a bit of drizzle.

  126. 132

    tony of crosby

    Mr Shennan, one of the 60 at the Radio Merseyside gig a couple of years ago. Top bloke.

  127. 133

    Paul F

    As soon as I saw the theme of this week’s “Inventory” in the (peerless) Onion’s AV Club, I hoped it would include “Bad Review”. And it did. I suspect there will be much scratching of American heads:

    http://www.avclub.com/articles/praise-then-crucify-25-antimusicjournalist-songs,42793/

  128. 134

    Third rate Les

    “The jangly, jokey indie outfit—best known for its contribution to NME’s legendary C86 compilation in 1986″? What does that mean? Still, I suppose it makes a change from “best known for that song about Nerys Hughes”.

    Still, I suppose I’m now slamming a review about songs about bad reviews about songs, which is getting a little confusing and postmodern.

  129. 135

    Charles Exford

    Is it just me or does he not get the song at all ? It’s a piss-take of the _group_ writing that kind of letter to the music press surely ?

  130. 136

    Paul F

    “…uses “Bad Review” almost as a parody of anti-journalist songs.”

    I think if he hadn’t ruined it by including the word “almost” he could have been credited with “getting it”. Or maybe the “almost” refers to the difference being it’s a letter rather than a song.. although it IS a song…

  131. 137

    Norbert D

    I know a couple of ex-music journalists, and while they’re always eager to point out how many of their former colleagues were indeed complete dickheads, they’re very fond of “Bad Review”. Along with “Used To Be In Evil Gazebo”, it’s probably as close as any song’s ever come to being pro-press, anti-musician.

  132. Top work Duncan Nisbet in When Saturday Comes’ “Weekly Howl”:

    “What overpowering impulse is it that takes a chap from the Slough of Despond straight to Foam Party in three seconds, from Nation’s Shame to Hello Mum?”

    You can see the quote here, a few paragraphs after a rather prophetic quote about Howard Webb.

  133. 140

    Colin

    Whilst watching the distinctly average Knight and Day(The latest Tom Cruise offerring) he utters the line “well they are loaded for bear”. it brightened up an otherwise dull and insipid afternoon.

  134. 141

    s.g.d A Shropshire Lad

    the opponents in tonight’s episode of Eggheads were named “Trouble Over Bridgewater” as a tribute to HMHB and as 3 of the team live there.

  135. Twitter folks have been doing “fictitious HMHB albums” recently. A few good ideas in there.

  136. Readers recommend songs about vegetables in The Guardian today mentions “Prac Veg at the Melkweg”. Only kidding.

  137. 145

    chedgzoy

    An unlikely source, but the name on the front cover of everyone’s favourite (Johnny) Quango, the Audit Commission’s, latest report namechecks a certain Thomas Tallis, of ‘I went to a Wedding’ fame.

  138. 146

    chedgzoy

    Should have put this in the PBRs section sorry

  139. 147

    Bonnevilleinbits

    It’s a double PBR – statistics on Blue Badge abuse lurk within..

  140. 148

    chedgzoy

    Can’t believe I failed to spot that – good work!

  141. 149

    warebloke

    Just had a weekly cartoon from Iffyton t-shirts – noticed a mention “Turner Prize Judge” then right under “Christ That’s good” – emailed the site, they told me it was indeed a ref to If I Had Possession Over Pancake Day and that they are playing a version of it on Thursday, it’s on their gig guide.

  142. 150

    Sera_6969

    Physical stutterer, Stephen Hendry reveals 10 year battle with the Yips… Alas, not the epic battle to free said HMHB single of all its cellophane and sticky plastic stickers…

  143. 151

    Paul F

    Clearly this week’s Guardian Sports Blog compiler didn’t need much of an excuse to shoehorn in HMHB.

  144. 152

    Charles Exford

    @ Paul
    Yes, very shoe-horned indeed – it’s fairly clear that for whatever reason Dukla didn’t wear their away kit that night, and I’m not sure it was even their home kit either.

    Strangely, around 15 years or so ago, Toffs used to sell the home shirt as the away shirt, based on research the sum total of which, according to their website, was to look in the Spurs programme for that night in 1962 and find a picture of what was in fact the home kit !
    As Toffs only begain to sell this shirt in response to public demand based on the song, and as Our Lads weren’t even born in 1962 anyway, I hereby nominate this for the worst piece of football-kit-related research ever. And at over £30 a pop. They put it right fairly soon as many of you know and for most of the last 15 years they’ve made it clear which is the away shirt

    http://www.toffs.com/icat/duklaprague/

    Though the fact that the home shirt still isn’t really labelled as such and that Xmas presents are often bought by spouses may explain why you always see a couple of home shirts at gigs. Either that or they just want to be independent in their choice of clothes, thank you very much.

    Confusingly, and I think just starting this season, Dukla seem to be playing their home matches in the gold that has always been the main colour of the away kit.

  145. 153

    Paul F

    And a good excuse for reminding people of the UEFA Champions League Magazine article I flagged up on the official site 5 years ago.

    http://cobweb.businesscollaborator.com/hmhb/images/champions1.jpg

    http://cobweb.businesscollaborator.com/hmhb/images/champions2.jpg

    Worth reading for the theory expounded by the author of Tor! that there was a subconscious Spurs fan in HMHB.

  146. 154

    Charles Exford

    Glad you posted that again, Paul. I’m not sure I knew how to enlarge the article enough to read it properly 5 years ago !

    Update for those who don’t know – since 2007 Dukla Praha have been back in the Czech 2nd division and back in their old stadium in Prague.
    (can’t believe we haven’t been yet, though Mrs & Exford and I both went on separate pilgrimages to Pribram before were together !)

    At the recent Preston gig I saw the only other Prague-bought DPA shirt I’ve ever seen apart from mine. The wearer said he’d bought it in the Sparta Prague shop about 10 years ago, same as me. And just like Toffs, the shop said they only had them in stock cos HMHB fans would ask for them (well, they said “British tourists”, but I knew they meant HMHB fans).

  147. 155

    Poolio

    Not a subtle reference…
    Spotted this on the techradar website… (a form of media..)

    “You might also argue that unlimited data makes up for the lack of bundled Wi-Fi that you get with similar plans from O2, Vodafone and Orange. Then again, as Half Man Half Biscuit once sang, it’s clichéd to be cynical at Christmas. It’s a refreshing bit of clarity in an industry that often seems hell-bent on confusing people, and if I were thinking of buying an iPhone, Android or other smartphone Three would be looking very attractive today”

    Do I get a prize?

  148. 156

    Charles Exford

    On the bright side though Paul, today’s Lux Familiar draw means another trip to the sports shops of Prague in February, 10 years since we last played in Czech.

    Good timing ‘cos a couple of seams went at the Holmfirth gig last night, one in the shirt and one somewhat more significantly in the shorts.

  149. 157

    Third Rate Les

    HMHB get a mention in the current edition of Viz.

    There’s an entry for “Titmuss paper” in the Profanisaurus, with the clarification that this refers to Abi, not Fred Titmuss (sic) of Half Man Half Biscuit fame.

    As a stalwart purchaser of Viz I have to say the latest one, including the calendar, isn’t up to much, aside from the usual startling bleakness of The Drunken Bakers. Not as funny as it used to be…

  150. 158

    Bobby String

    Well, for me it’s a bit like living in Wantage because you can’t get Viz in Johannesburg, but from my recollections it’s been “not as funny as it used to be” for quite some time now. Mind you, I always used to enjoy their adverts for sheds and their crap jokes.

    Ô¿Ô

  151. 159

    Charles Exford

    12.21 to 12.29 approx on Radio 4 just now, “You and Yours”included a report about the current craze for grown-up Scalectrix at clubs like the one in Marple (100-foot track) which was featured. It belongs in this thread because the reporter included the words “dodgy transformer” without acknowledgement. The background music (which began about 1 minute into the report) was of course so predictable that I was alredy singing it before it came on. But the reporter/producer must be a real fan, as the track was reprised later on to end the report with the “-err” echo. Still no acknowledgement, though.

  152. 160

    Ricardo

    First Drafts, in the latest* Private Eye, shows Ralph Vaughan Williams sitting at a piano, his sheet music headed: “Lark Descending.”

    For those non-Private Eye readers among us, First Drafts is a regular cartoon consisting of a single frame in which a famous author or composer sits at their desk, upon which sits a piece of paper with some humorous twist on one of their works.

    Favourites of mine include Hardy: “It was a wet day in the Wessex countryside – I won’t bore you with the details” and Shakespeare: “Lear divides up his kingdom among his three daughters with hilarious consequences.”

    *not latest

  153. 161

    chedgzoy

    Fantastic discussion during between renowned HMHB fan Bumble and Mike Atherton during the morning session of the Sydney test. Apparently Billy the trumpeter from the Barmy Army (kill, kill, kill, stab murder and dispatch) has learnt ‘Lord Hereford’s Knob,’ which prompted bumble to list some of his favourite songs, including ‘Golly Gosh it’s Fred Titmus’

    ‘Half Biscuit’ currently trending on twitter as a result

  154. 162

    Groucho Merckx

    Of questionable relevance, admittedly, but nice all the same to see the Dukla logo adorning the Slovakian biathlon team’s kit, most notably on the person of Anastasiya Kuzmina. I’m a Neuner and Domracheva fan myself, but nevertheless it raised a smile.

  155. 163

    Charles Exford

    She must surely then be a member of the SK Dukla Banská Bystrica, which as an SK as opposed to an FK has all sorts of affiliated sports, as opposed to FK Dukla Praha. Their logo has white lettering of the word Dukla on the old red Czechoslovak army campaign badge, as opposed to Dukla Prague’s gold.

    Just a guess of course, based on the fact that she isn’t Czech and she isn’t a footballer.

    I didn’t google her, ‘cos the name “Grouch Merkx” alone (chapeau) had already taken up my entire week’s googling and internet stalking allowance, and well worth it it was too.

  156. Walsall manager Dean Smith is now officially the Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project’s favourite manager, and The Saddlers are now this site’s official team (along with Tranmere Rovers, of course). Anyone who likes a bit of Rod Steward (sic) is OK with us. Actually, it’s a shame that Dean is already sponsored by Walsall Carpets or we could have had a whip-round.

  157. Not so much “lyrics in the media”, but “the band name in the media”: apparently at a Wellcome Collection Symposium this afternoon called Drugs In Victorian Britain, speaker Michael Neve said, in a talk called Varieties of Experience: Drugs and self experimentation in the late 19th century, that Half Man Half Biscuit got their name from Mescal: A New Artificial Paradise by Havelock Ellis. This is according to a couple of tweeters who were there.

  158. 166

    Charles Exford

    With all due respect for the excitement this seems to have engendered (and requesting your indulgence towards any posts I make during these dark depths of the Football League Show) ….
    … but if comments on twitterface about facetious passing references to HMHB by lecturers trying to sound cool suddenly count as “the media” then we are surely scraping the biscuit barrel.

    Obviously we don’t know exactly what this acerbic academic has said, but there’s surely no way he’s seriously suggested that the band’s name has anything to do with Ellis’ anecdote. I’m guessing he’s just bored with constant references to The Doors getting their name from the title of Huxley’s book about mescaline (and originally from Blake) and he’s made a tongue-in-cheek comment about imagining HMHB might have been similarly inspired by Ellis’ episode of hallucinatory-munchies-conflagration.

    Mind you, it is not too far from the sort of misinformation that NB57 might on occasions be proud of. And it might also suggest an explanation for the latest hole that has appeared singed into Mrs Exford’s jeans, though she’s emphatically denied polishing off my mescal and the Mexican hobnobs I’d been saving for a special night.

  159. 167

    s.g.d A Shropshire Lad

    Wasn’t there a record label named Half Man Half Biscuit in the late 70′s/early 80′s?

  160. 168

    Toerag

    There is a version of the Hitler/”Downfall” meme on YouTube where the source of Adolf’s anger is the failure of our lads to reach no.6 with JDOGs

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZ5_h3BPDL8

    Here’s to Duritti Column spice racks!

  161. 169

    Charles Exford

    SGD: Thanks for reminding us of the Half Man Half Biscuit record label, my learned Salopian friend. According to Gez’s site at least, the band name came before the label. And thanks to the wonders of YouTube we can go back and listen to the tracks the label put out.

    The ‘official’ history on Gez’s site (presumably from the horse’s mouth) tells us that HMHB approached Birkenhead’s Skeleton Records with their first demo tape, but it doesn’t tell us the year. Skeleton was basically the local record shop/record exchange (and, from personal memory, what a fantastic treasure trove it was) but they put out a few records under various label names. In 1980 Skeleton had released two tracks by Attempted Moustache, featuring Simon Blackwell and Paul, two of the five original HMHB members. Skeleton said no to putting out HMHB, but asked if they could borrow Nigel’s band name for a record label to release some singles by Birkenhead punk band Instant Agony.

    So I thought some old punk readers might like to hear the only records ever released on the said label, the first two singles by Instant Agony, which it says on the latter’s website were released in 1982 and 1983. These dates are interesting – and in fact pretty surprising to me – because if the chronologies on Gez’s site and the Instant Agony site are both correct, it means that HMHB were toting round the legendary demo tape from Vulcan Studios no later than early ’82. If so, when Nigel told the Record Collector interviewer recently that “the first album was 5 years in the making” he clearly wasn’t exaggerating. On the other hand, this date is surprising because Nigel was apparently in other youthful bands (called Split Gut and North of Watford, both unrecorded, as far as we know) from 1980 to ’82.

    Anyway, shown above is the first Instant Agony single “Think of England” (A- and B-side), released in spring ’82, with the nauseating royal wedding bash still fresh in our minds. Clicking on the images will take you to the relevant YouTube pages. And left and right here that is the second single “Fashion Parade”, recorded in ’82 but not released until early ’83 (YouTube footage of this song is from 2008’s Rebellion Festival in Blackpool). Appropriately for the first dip into the market under the biscuit name, these singles had the catalogue numbers dunk-1 and dunk-2. The information from Instant Agony website (last updated 5 years ago, though the band still do the summer punk festivals. They formed in 1980, released records ’82-84, split in ’84 and then reformed in 1997 with a different line-up).

    By the way, it’s perhaps also interesting that around the same time (c.1983) nearly half of HMHB’s original line-up, i.e. Nigel’s brother Simon plus Paul, after Attempted Moustache, were briefly in a band called the Bisquits. Had they temporarily quit the Biscuits at that time perhaps?

  162. 170

    s.g.d A Shropshire Lad

    Once again mr Exford has popped up with the goods.

    Just to confirm the dates “Think of England” entered the indie charts(aaah those were the days) 31/7/1982 and “Fashion Parade” 19/3/1983.

  163. 171

    Vendor of Quack Nostrums

    The April edition of Mojo comes with its usual giveaway CD, this one entitled ‘Panic: 15 tracks of riotous ’80s indie insurrection’. Somewhat incongruously track 6 is National Shite Day. Whilst I’m not complaining, I suspect that the ‘track selection coherence software’ has been tampered with. Probably by a junior employee.

  164. 172

    TWO FAT FEET

    Being in possession of said artefact, I did wonder that myself but I think the thread is that the songs are inspired by, not necessarily a document of, the 1980s activist thing.

  165. 173

    John Anderson

    I can’t recall any 1980s activists taking to the streets to protest against rail replacement services, dismal TVM or a lack of pedestrain etiquette.

  166. 174

    TWO FAT FEET

    Like I (thought I) said, it was to do with the spirit of the thing, not necessarily specifics.

  167. 175

    Franco

    I have recently tried sneaking in Biscuit references into my music reviews for Londonist.com (700k pageviews per month, 28k twitter “friends”).

    Latest two references here and here.

  168. 176

    Charles Exford

    Was discussing today’s Hillsborough tragedy anniversary and David Conn’s fine (as usual) article about it with a mate who expressed cautious optimism that the current inquiry would reveal the truth about the police/government/media conspiracy to cover up the responsibility.

    Automatically I told him “your optimism strikes me like junk mail addressed to the dead”. He thought I was making a bit of a tasteless joke, so I had to explain why I thought the line had emerged from my data retrieval system at that moment, and why it was so poignant and moving to me in this context. I can’t explain exactly why here, but trust me, it is.

    Justice for the 96, their families and friends.

  169. 177

    Charlie, E ...

    Gooner media luvvy Eleanor Oldroyd trying to have it both ways on Fighting Talk this morning, citing Bob Wilson Anchorman during her tribute to the soporific ex-presenter but saying “I don’t agree with the song’s sentiments”. No surprise (but nonetheless slightly disappointing) to hear Colin Murray agree with her. After all he’s a man who regularly shared a studio with John Barnes.

  170. 178

    Peter Gandy

    Tonight’s Eastenders – about 20 minutes in:

    Mo: Half Man Half Biscuit.

    Julie: Are you sure?

    Denise: Yeah, they were Zeno’s favourites. He played them all the time.

    (Disclaimer: my daughter told me and I checked on iPlayer ;-) However, I used to think that Nigel sang ‘Ian Beale is all my arse’ in On Reaching the Wensum.)

    Ed’s note: see my comment a few places below.

  171. 179

    Toffo 78 Huyton

    Cheers Peter. Thumbs up to the scriptwriters for that one.
    Re- the LF Cup- do we have play-offs in place yet? We have play-offs this week at Evo-Stik/ Unibond/ Northern Premier League level so maybe a little bit of LF action just to whet the appetite…..cheers!

  172. 180

    Chris the Siteowner

    I thought there were enough games coming up in the second stage without playoffs from the first…

  173. 181

    Toffo 78 Huyton

    No probs Chris, second stage sounds good. Perhaps a bit like World Cup 82….looking fwd to it.

  174. OK, regarding Peter’s (daughter’s) great EastEnders spottage (above), here’s the clip on YouTube… Scriptwriter is credited as Roy Boulter. And if you do a quick bit of Googling, you discover that Roy “was the drummer in the Liverpool based pop group The Farm (…who…) went on to write for …soap operas”…

  175. 183

    John Burscough

    He also co-wrote the episode of Brookside in which HMHB were mentioned (Ep 2628 “Calling”; see ‘name-checks’ halfway down the page).
    http://www.brooksidesoapbox.co.uk/guide_64.htm
    And his manager while in The Farm was Kevin Sampson, who famously described Fred Titmus as “fiery Yorkshire pace legend” in the Guardian (see above).

  176. 184

    RudeDog

    On last nights eastenders when Ben was sat at his laptop he was searching for ‘Nigel Blackwell’

  177. 185

    Vendor of Quack Nostrums

    If the answer was ‘Half Man, Half Biscuit’ then what was the question?

    My guess would be ‘Which 1990′s Liverpudlian Punk band famously turned down the chance to appear on The Tube, even though Channel Four offered to fly them there by helicopter, as the drummer’s footy faves Tranmere Town were playing that night?’

  178. 186

    John Anderson

    I’m told HMHB and The Farm used to regularly play football against each other.

  179. 187

    TWO FAT FEET

    I really hope Roy Boulter has enough clout to introduce characters such as the notoriously hapless gardener Mr Galbraith, or a petty criminal known as Stringy Bob …

  180. 188

    Peter Gandy

    Rudedog, that was a fantastic spot. Chapeau.

  181. 189

    TWO FAT FEET

    Oh, and did he manage to sneak a game of darts into the episode as well?

  182. 191

    CharlieW

    Everytime I find one of these, someone else has already posted it. Well done, Rich, for being quicker than me.

  183. 192

    Bobby String

    I see there was a mention of Uffington in there as well, but alas no wassail.

    Ô¿Ô

  184. 193

    spoonunit

    Heard Elvis McGonagall do some poetry on R4 which included the line ‘dance, dance, dance, dance, in your Joy Division Oven Gloves’ ! !
    He’s also got a poem called ‘This land is our land’
    Shomething Biscuity shurely…

  185. 194

    TWO FAT FEET

    Is Nigel’s BP advert to be found on YouTube or some such outlet? Or is it just another of his apocryphal tales? I don’t remember any BP advert from back then and I certainly wasn’t aware of Nigel’s involvement at the time.

    It’s mentioned in a Guardian interview from 2001, the writer seems to have done his homework to an extent but not quite enough, as he seems satisfied as to the actual existence of It Ain’t Half Man, Mum, while he misquotes lyrics he obviously doesn’t know and seems to regard the rest of the band as session musicians.

    Just curious.

  186. 195

    evil gazebo

    It was real. And on quite a bit at the time. Quite marvellous. Afraid I don’t have a copy though.

  187. 196

    evil gazebo

    On the subject of media, I’m not sure if this counts but I remember NME running an HMHB day for the launch of “Four Lads’. They surreptitiously inserted some free adverts on their website for the band and dedicated their bulletin board to the band.

  188. 197

    Dave Wiggins

    In the new issue of ‘Viz’ (not as funny as it used to be, etc), Gilbert Ratchet’s grandpa has ‘restless legs’. That’s all.

  189. Not as funny as it used to be, and includes an article called “Man injured by falling chandelier” which I just don’t get at all. I just can’t tell what they’re getting at – really odd. Still, scrabbling to find some relevance here, er, it does mention Noel Edmonds.

  190. 200

    Dave Wiggins

    Fair play to long-time Biscuit-championing journalist, Dave Kidd of ‘The (Sunday) People’. In his column, yesterday, Dave berated some sportsman or other (Lleyton Hewitt?) who “wears his baseball cap the wrong way ’round”.

  191. 201

    TWO FAT FEET

    If this is the same Dave Kidd who used to be at the Currant Bun, I used to know him when he was deputy sports ed of the Romford Recorder. Never knew he was a Biscuit Man though.

  192. 202

    John Anderson

    It is the same Dave Kidd. He was in the Defector’s Weld before the gig having a drink with 5Live’s Nigel Adderley who’s also fan and knows the other Nigel through a mutual love of Tranmere Rovers.

  193. 204

    Hagerty F.

    Didn’t know exactly where to post this, but here seems as good as any. I am currently undertaking a large-scale Half Man Half Biscuit project, which involves adding links to the HMHB wikipedia page on every single celebrity mentioned in songs’ own wikipedia page (Una Stubbs, John the Baptist etc.), each time referring to the band themselves by various snappy descriptions (indie grumblers, post-punk quartet, Tranmere enthusiasts etc.). You may wish to follow my progress, although currently I’m struggling to get through the first few tracks on Back In The DHSS…

  194. 205

    Paul F

    I liked “Post-punk quibblers”.

  195. 206

    Shirley Dimensions

    @Dave Wiggins Yes, you do (win £5).

  196. 207

    TWO FAT FEET

    I’ll offer up “bomb-heaving satirists” when you start to run out of ideas, if only because it rhymes with Chatteris.

    If I recall correctly it was Q’s review of Voyage To The Bottom Of The Road (which, bizarrely, considered their prospects of breaking America) which described them as “indie miserablists”.

  197. 208

    Bobby String

    I’ve already added a link to this site from the Mary Ann Hobbs (or however you spell it) Wikipedia page so that’s one less for you to worry about when you eventually get round to Nove On The Sly. :-)

    Ô¿Ô

  198. 209

    Hagerty F.

    Strangely, Ali Bongo is one of the few ‘celebrities’ to have already been added to by a Biscuit enthusiast…

  199. 211

    TWO FAT FEET

    “relentlessly sardonic indie perennials”

    Hagerty F, store for future use.

  200. 212

    Sandy Coloured Clown

    Re:
    Hagerty F’s request.
    Just added to Phil Cool’s site for when you get to it, as ‘obstinately independent Wirral band’. Interestingly, there’s a decent section on Big Phil’s impression of Kendo Nagasaki…

  201. 213

    chedgzoy

    I’ve noticed HMHB references in wikipedia relating to ‘Bullbarrrow Hill’ and ‘Fampton Comes Alive!’

  202. 214

    Mark Ashworth

    On radio Five Live yesterday Mark Pougatch said ‘Time flies by when you’re the driver of a train, as they say’. They do Mark. Especially if they spent the ’80s listening to indie music.

  203. 215

    swanaldo

    Do we need a separate section for the ‘Bikiepedia’ project?

  204. 216

    Emerging From Gorse

    Never thought I’d see HMHB get a mention in my daily newspaper but, on page 83 of today’s Racing Post, sports betting editor Phi Agius writes:

    “The world stopped turning for a nanosecond on Sunday as football fans across the globe marvelled at the rare but cherished sight of a dog on the pitch during Brazil’s Copa America clash against Venezuela.

    “It wasn’t much of a dog, true, but then mangy brown ones are the best at this work and the canine intruder played his role superbly, earning countless TV and viral video appearances.

    “The art of the dog on the pitch has been enshrined in music in the Half Man Half Biscuit song Even Men With Steel Hearts (Love To See A Dog On The Pitch), whose chorus adds: ‘It generates a warmth around the ground that augurs well for mankind; And that’s what life’s about.’ ”

    Coincidentally, there’s a meeting at Uttoxeter later today. I can feel a placepot coming on….

  205. 217

    Pop Tart Mark

    Placepot Uttoxeter down by 18.25

    Assuming we were all on “Balladeer” in the first (cos it did have a VERY big nose).

  206. 218

    Hagerty F.

    I’m afraid that Wikipedia and the powers that be have decided to remove most of my Half Man Half Biscuit references (I believe only Una Stubbs and Bobby Charlton remain). I therefore grudgingly accept that the system has beaten me, and resign from my post as Bicciepedia editor.

  207. 219

    TWO FAT FEET

    To add to the pragVEC theme, this month’s Mojo has a picture of them captioned ‘pragVEC not at the Melkweg’.

  208. 221

    Dave Wiggins

    Ben Shepherd, off of the telly, in this week’s ‘Mail on Sunday’, about his love for ‘Junior Kick Start’, as a boy.

  209. 222

    Swanaldo

    Journo Caitlin Moran just tweeted ‘Everyone in “The Duchess” has hair like Brian May’.

  210. 223

    Dave Kirby

    Clearly a fan at Empire somewhere. He mentioned “primitive creature of the heath” the other day, and a while ago he dropped hip hop chip shop into a story about Michael Haneke (rather well!).

  211. 224

    Dave Wiggins

    Good spot Dave. One of my (probably deluded) proudest moments was using ‘standing forward of this notice’ in an issue of WSAG a good year or two before NB57 deployed the same line. As Mr B is a subscriber to the said fanzine, I immodestly put two and two together (and no doubt emerged with five. Still, I can but dream)…………

  212. 225

    gordo

    I think it would have been impossible to write an article about Len Ganley without mentioning the “merseyside post-punk band” Half Man Half Biscuit

  213. 226

    Chris Quinn

    The BBC put in a mention of “King of Hi Vis” today

  214. 227

    Tony Silvey

    King of hi-vis lyrics in this BBC article about hi-vis vests.

  215. 229

    Charles Exford

    Hope David Owens’ English teacher doesn’t suss where he copied his homework from.

  216. 230

    Vendor of Quack Nostrums

    Ummm. I stopped reading after “they’re back with a UK tour ….”

  217. 231

    Dave Kirby

    Not strictly on message, but since nobody seems to have mentioned it before… This fella left his heart in Papworth General!

  218. 233

    Paul F

    OK – who’s responsible for the HMHB reference in the wikipedia entry for the Lesser Free Trade Hall? Good work.

  219. Well, not only is there another “Get Half Man Half Biscuit to Number One for Christmas” campaign going, but it would appear to have the active backing of the excellent Dr Brooke Magnanti (@belledejour_uk) no less, who’s tweeting about it enthusiastically. Not sure I’ve spotted her out moshing recently, but all celebrity supporters are always welcome. Go click that “Share” link, Facebookers.

  220. 235

    Chris The Siteowner

    Judging by what’s happening on Twitter, I have a feeling I’m about to be put right as regards to casting doubt on the good doctor’s moshing record…

  221. Oh OK, as she’s obviously too modest to post it herself, here’s Belle de Jour’s account of an HMHB gig from Playing The Game (2008). Respect. And NSFW, of course.

  222. 237

    gordo

    The Daily Telegraph opened a story about the SPL experimenting with Friday night football with a reference to HMHB without mentioning Friday Nights and The Gates Are Low

  223. 238

    gordo

    a very recent tweet from belledejour_uk

    “gingerbread man biscuit cutter obtained. To the shops in the next few days Half Man Half Biscuit biscuits imminent #hmhbxmas “

  224. 239

    Dave Wiggins

    Brian Moore’s Head Looks Uncannily Like London Planetarium just name-checked on The Football League Show.

  225. 240

    Paul Rodgers (Crimond)

    and as per usual that annoying twot Clem got it wrong. We were called what Dave said, not Brian Moore’s Head Looks Uncannily Like THE London Planetarium like what Clem said.

    And there’s no saying that BMH is dead. We ressurected it for one paper issue in 2008, if needs be we would do the same again.

  226. 241

    Dave Wiggins

    I have a couple of back issues somewhere, from the early 90′s. A great read, indeed, Paul. Cap doffed, Sir.

  227. 242

    VILLAPETE

    A programme on Radio 4 the other day about the Irish priest sex-abuse scandal mentioned that the Irish Prime Minister had ‘delivered a broadside to the Vatican’. The documentary’s scriptwriter surely slipped that in deliberately.

  228. 243

    SPENCER THE HALFWIT

    The Big Brother spin-off programme (which I just discovered the missus watching in bed, behind a copy of the Times) appeared briefly to have the Achtung Bono cover, minus captions, on a screen in the background.

  229. 244

    Vendor of Quack Nostrums

    Man up, Spence. There’s worse things that you could have discovered the missus doing in bed. (Behind a copy of The Times or otherwise.)

  230. This is quite beautiful. Micky (The Hoss) writes: “I thought you lot might like to see this – I have just finished a scale model of Leicester City’s old ground, Filbert Street, which as now gone on permanent display at the club’s current King Power Stadium. I wanted to sneak a little piece of HMHB in the model somewhere, so I did this! Thousands of people will see the model all the time…”

    Truly a work of art. It made us cry like girls.

  231. 246

    s.g.d.

    even men with steel hearts will love to see that advertising hoarding!

  232. 247

    Dave Wiggins

    Spot-on that, Micky, lad.

  233. 248

    micky (the hoss)

    Ha Ha, Cheers Chris, Nice One. We’ve got quite a HMHB posse in Leicester(shire), our football messageboard “Bentleys Roof” got a mention by NB at Leamington which was nice!!

    If you’re bored check out my HMHB Vids at YouTube.

  234. 249

    Mr Larrington

    Micky, that is made of 100% win!

  235. 250

    Paul Fenton

    Here’s a gift of an article to comment on. Bottomless perdition indeed.

  236. 251

    SPENCER THE HALFWIT

    Just noticed the the latest issue of Word also carries an article about the Inbetweeners movie headlined Half Men, Half Dipsticks.

    Also the letters page of said magazine has, for several months now, titled all the letters with mish-mash headlines relating to their content, prompting one reader to comment that they all sound like Half Man Half Biscuit song titles (I’m thinking along the lines of Running Order Squabble Fest, Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite).

  237. 252

    Jeff Buckley

    Is Sir Alex a fan I wonder?? From tonights match on the BBC live text.

    Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson on his side’s hard-fought win over Otelul: “I think in a lot of these away games, you have to work hard to get victory. They made life difficult for us. I was satisfied with the result. It was a long night and they had to be patient.” On Nemanja Vidic’s red card: “He’s raised his foot and, particularly in Europe, I can see why he’s given it but it was harsh. I shouldn’t think we’ll appeal.”

  238. 253

    iffy voice

    Just before the kick of of the third and fourth place rugby world cup final this morning, Mark Saggers on Talksport said that “a Welsh victory against Australia in the southern hemisphere was as rare as hens’ teeth”. Didn’t make the room look any bigger though.

  239. The model Filbert Street project mentioned above now has its own website at Filbert Street in Miniature.

  240. 255

    andy

    not really a lyric
    more of an observation
    on andy hamiltons search for the devil on bbc4

    he repeatedly says

    “book of revelationS”

  241. 256

    Joke Shop Excrement

    Anybody seen this? Thoughts?

    Margate? Nearly every weekend?

  242. That’s an odd one – I saw that too.
    Is there a fixture list we don’t know about?!

  243. 258

    John Burscough

    Never mind Margate, nearly every weekend; The Telegraph??

  244. 259

    Chesneywold

    That’s got to be someone taking Nigel’s name in vain. The attitude and the style are all wrong. Someone has obviously thought well Nigel writes funny letters, why not write a letter signed as him and throw in a few ‘jokes’ such as touring every weekend. Taint enough. Poor.

  245. 260

    Junior Ed (Wirral Globe)

    Never mind Margate, nearly every weekend, The Telegraph …. what about the Xenophobia ????

    We have written to the Torygraph online editorial staff assuring them that in all of his dozens of letters to us, Mr. Blackwell has never used his own name. I also included a sample of his handwriting and a selection of aliases used previously in his many missives: Nick Drake, Joel Garner, Ian Curtis, Henry Rollins, Maud Exford etc.

    What goes around comes around I suppose.

  246. Not so sure it’s really xenophobic – simple fact is it’s easier for foreign-registered vehicles to get away with small-ish speeding infringements.

    On a related matter, the accident puts a melancholy tinge on the title “Trouble over Bridgwater”. I went on one of those AA driving courses a few months ago and they showed us a reconstruction of the very similar Hungerford accident. Never, ever stop in the hard shoulder if you can possibly avoid it, not even if you’ve witnessed a crash (and this is the only time you can ever use your phone while driving).

  247. 263

    Paul F

    I’ve been on that course as well Les. Many years ago, but I remember the M4 crash reconstruction very well.

  248. 264

    Mr Galbraith

    The xenophobia, humourless style, Margate domicile and the very thought of writing to the Torygraph are not in our hero’s idiom. And NB57 would never make the schoolboy error of referring to his native isle as ‘the’ Britain… Unless he’s had exposure from descending the Stiperstones. (Incidentally, Chris Hawkins played this on his 6 Music breakfast programme last Wednesday (I think). He said it reminded him of where he grew up. Well done, Chris. Turned my face into a sea of smiles as I blearily ate my sugar puffs at 6.30am!)

  249. 265

    Vendor of Quack Nostrums

    Regarding the Torygraph tosh, if you live by the sword, then I’m afraid you may well die by the sword. This one however (although old) is, I feel, more genuine.

    http://www.movingtone.com/news/preview-half-man-half-biscuit

    Apologies to those who have seen it before.

  250. 266

    Comedy Hypnotist

    Regular readers might recall that Times Business Editor Ian King has a ‘bit of previous’ when it comes to sneaky HMHB references in his columns. So one might suspect he was listening to ‘Joy in Leeuwarden’ when he noted in today’s Business Commentary:

    “Curious goings-on in Hungary where [...] Viktor Orbán’s Government bade a hearty Isten Hozta to an IMF task force”.

  251. 267

    Kate W

    A direct lyric quote in the Guardian today – in a Notes and Queries piece about bad rhymes:

  252. 268

    Paul F

    Kate – perhaps even the editor is on it as he has placed a quote from Bette Davies Eyes immediately above the HMHB example.

  253. 269

    John Byrne

    Gratuitous and inappropriate – have a look at the caption on the second slide

  254. 271

    Charles Exford

    John – thanks for that, you’ve made an old man very happy, as that piece brings together my favourite DJ. favourite bands & very favourite iconography from my favourite area of archaelogy.

    In fact my only tattoo is this image from the British Museum, inscribed on my back. Now I know The Devourer is Mark E. Smith my inscription is truly complete!

  255. 273

    Paul F

    Surprisingly comes across as less of a tool than normal in that interview. And not just because of the HMHB reference.

  256. 274

    John Burscough

    Bit cheesy.

  257. 275

    SPENCER THE HALFWIT

    Len Ganley Stance lyrics extensively quoted in this month’s Word, on the Best and Worst page. Basically uses the dance moves to describe planking.

  258. 276

    Vendor of Quack Nostrums

    And just in case, like me, you didn’t have a clue what Spencer was on about, this site will shed some light.

    http://www.planking.me/

    “Keep your arms as rigid as a juggernaut
    Clench your fists, point your knuckles straight ahead”.

    Time for a new section perhaps Chris. Planking at sights mentioned on Stuart’s Half Map, Half Biscuit.

    It gets a bit chilly planking on Lord Hereford’s Knob. (All of our planks look the same.)

  259. 277

    SPENCER THE HALFWIT

    You could also possibly amend “Then try and pretend to look vertically dead” to “Then you find you’re actually horizontally dead”.

  260. 278

    J Buckley

    A few indirect mentions on 5Live this morning!

    Ed’s note: it was writer Mark Barrowcliffe. Chapeau, as many of our contributors here would say.

  261. 279

    Vendor of Quack Nostrums

    I missed that by about 5 minutes this morning; a pity as it would have undoubtedly put a smile on my face and set me up nicely for the day. As is often the case with these oblique mentions in the media, the fun comes in noting just how high the references fly over the other contributor’s heads. Both quotes, which were casually tossed into a typical 5Live Breakfast conversation about nothing of any significance whatsoever, are currently hovering some distance over MediaCityUk, seeking clearance to land.

  262. 280

    PapaLazarou

    Well spotted JB… Made me chuckle…

  263. A mention of the band in Simon Pegg’s memoir “Nerd Do Well” (“a book that deliberately insults his fan base, I’m angry I bought it”Amazon review). Apparently he was in a short-lived college band which “performed a few Half Man Half Biscuit numbers at the Edinburgh Fringe” – OK so far – but then ruins it by describing HMHB in a footnote as “Brilliant if short-lived eighties indie satirists”. Nerd done bad.

  264. 282

    Shirley Dimensions

    Cheer up Chris…maybe NB57 will entwine an entire lyric around said Mr Pegg, thus massively increasing Simon’s chances of also being somewhat short in the lived department. Has anyone checked on Tommy Walsh recently by the way, there are sixteen empty milk bottles outside the eco house’s front door, are we sure he’s still with us?

  265. 283

    Mr Larrington

    @Chris The Siteowner: I made this observation in October 2010 in the “Your PBRs” wossname. DKUATB ;-)

    Ed’s Note. It’s late and I’m old, and there are seven and a half thousand comments on the site, and… and… (blows raspberry).

  266. 284

    Shirley Dimensions

    Shirl’s note. It’s late and I’m old, and there are 350 ‘likes’ on Sex Pistols Archive, and…and…(flicks Vs in a Sid Vicious stylee).

  267. 285

    Mrs Gibson's

    I’m not certain this is the right place to mention spottings in the media. There’s a magazine with an advert for the new SEAT in-car record turntable. 3 LP covers in the picture: Sgt Pepper’s, Thriller, and I’m sure I see the 3 rd one as This Leaden Pall. Nice.!

  268. 286

    Dave Wiggins

    Things like this, ‘Mrs Gibson’s', excite me to a disproportionate extent. More details please.

  269. 287

    Charles Exford

    Yes please Mrs G, must see that – do tell which mag! The only results I could find on Google were a SEAT company page on Facebook (google SEAT Highway Hi-fi), where the albums on display do include Sgt. Pepper, but apart from that it’s Lady Gaga & Amy Winehouse….and a brief mention in Mixmag online, where disappointingly no mark out of 5 is given and the stock vinyl on display looks like a random selection of old punk.

    Old Pa Exford will be most unimpressed that SEAT have adopted the same brand name as the somewhat more space-saving stereo from the old Plymouth outside.

  270. 288

    Dave Wiggins

    I don’t appear to be able to post a ‘link’, but online Swine Magazine has a short piece, by Nigel, on his top ten Snowdonia walks. Get on it now; as amusing as you knew it would be.

  271. 289

    Vendor of Quack Nostrums

  272. 290

    J Buckley

    Not all Snowdonia walks, Foel Fenlli after Moel Fammau is in the low cloud base [usually] of the Clwydian hills. So am I!

  273. 292

    Dave Wiggins

    J Buckley. Spotted. I realised afterwards, but knew that you fellows would clock my minor typo. Cheers (and to Charles and Vendor for the follow-up). I used to pen a few things for SWINE, but didn’t realise it was still functional.

  274. 293

    Mrs Gibson's

    Page 17 of February’s Mojo has a little ‘Some Product’ section.
    Caption ‘On its axis: Fabs, Jacko, in the boot.’. They neglect to mention the 3rd LP sleeve.

  275. 294

    SPENCER THE HALFWIT

    This month’s Word includes on the letters page a chapeau to Nigel for his use of the word “tantamount”. Also Bad Wools and Eco House made it into the readers’ Festive Fifty. No doubt there are scattered references elsewhere, as anyone who has listened to the podcast over years will have noted that Andrew Harrison always tries to mention them at least twice whenever he’s on it.

  276. 295

    Paddy

    Simon Mayo just this second has recited some of “For What is Chatteris”

    !!! Could have knocked me down

  277. 296

    bobbybottler

    you know that you’ve been on here too often when…..you hear Mayo and Kermode quoting “Chatteris” verbatim, and you feel compelled to get on here and let everyone know about it, and then you’re gutted because some other punter has got there first…

  278. 297

    Paddy

    Sorry Bobbybottler. A complete fluke that I am working from home, something that I rarely ever do, with the radio on in the background. I was utterly stunned when he started quoting it, I think I may have started shaking a bit. What a great man.

  279. 298

    Jitsu.G

    It’s about 1 hr 20 in for those listening again. Surely a phone call on Friday could see it being played on his all request radio 2 program

  280. 299

    andy

    The first 10mins of the Radio 4 Extra drama “Elidor” was more or less all about a young girl’s quest for a Half Man Half Biscuit T-shirt. It’s just been repeated and is on iPlayer for the next few days.

  281. 300

    Chris The Siteowner

    Very good. Interestingly, Alan Garner’s Elidor was written in 1962, so the original radio play and novel wouldn’t have mentioned the band. It began as a radio play, now lost, and was subsequently published as a novel. There was a TV adaptation in the 1990s (which I haven’t seen) that presumably introduced the HMHB reference – I found this discussion here mentioning it rather inconclusively. The current (new) radio production, which clearly attempts to be as up-to-date as possible (with references to mobile phones and broadband shoehorned into the first few minutes) retains the reference to the band, which seems as slightly awkward now as it appears to have been in the TV series. Why it should follow the TV series in that respect, rather than updating the reference to something more contemporary, or going back to whatever was in the original, I don’t know. However, it goes no further than the kids looking for an HMHB T-shirt, whereas it looks as if the TV series had more of a discussion on the band.

  282. 301

    RT17

    I’ve just got off a Singapore Airlines flight where the first track on the ‘Rock City’ inflight radio channel was Tommy Walsh’s Eco House…

  283. 302

    Roots Hall

    Nice mention in Live magazine today by Dylan Jones editor of something called GQ whatever that is.Claims to have seen the band in Bath 1985 no less.

  284. 303

    John Burscough

    Marc Riley’s just played ‘Mr Cave’s A Window Cleaner Now’ from the Peel session on his R6M show (about 20 minutes in).
    (First track was The Stooges’ ‘Search and Destroy’, which I would contend is the best programme opener of all time, with the possible exception of ‘Shake Some Action’.)

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