Well, in a monumental week for The Half Man Half Biscuit Project, our man (and I think after having made 184 of the 2,077 comments on this site, I can call him that) Charles Exford Esq managed to get a friendly chat with Nigel Blackwell himself. And the result? A fantastic set of clarifications of some of the most argued-over lyrics on the site. The “official” corrections (or indeed confirmations) are going on the relevant pages, and wherever they’re made, I’ll put a reference back to this page as the source, so you’ll know that it might be wisest not to argue any further. Although I bet you lot will anyway.
A big thank you to NB57 for his time and patience, as well as to “Charles” for getting it all organised.
Charles Exford
Somebody in another thread suggested that there should be a list of the forty-odd clarifications I obtained by mithering NB57 during recent visits to Prenton. Maybe it could be the lead post in this thread? The Book of Clarifications, as revealed to Exxo the div, reads as follows:
“Ivan Mauger robbed my car”
“rock cakes”
“and die in midweek”
”Friday night and I just love complaining
and no I haven’t got anything better to do”.
“Dave & Barbara”.
“Goth on a bouncy castle”
“Fine shoes, incredible tunes”
“The car that’s parked on a pavement narked”
“Iranian crêpes” (apparently the sort of thing they’d offer you at a book launch)
“accepting alms” (Nigel said he didn’t realise at the time that wasn’t how to pronounce the word, and nobody in the studio said anything either, not Neil, not Geoff- no-one)
“Where the Transit full of Keith
In the side-streets has no beef
With Elgin, Nairn or Brora anymore”
Regarding “Trouble Over Bridgwater”, Nigel said he’d not previously heard of the Trevor Crozier’s 1970s Wurzelly-type album of the same title.
“pots and pans” (just before the line “Frampton Comes Alive!” on “3rd Track Main Camera”- a line which some people previously thought was “once again” )
“I’m a hard-jackin’ sound-scaping jump-uppin’ left-of-centre”
“Bill (not “Phil” ) in Hay-on-Wye”
“Cod ’n’ bass”.
“With Goth on our Side”, “first snakebite when I was in halls” and “ Dylan can’t sue”.
“far beyond dim sierras” in ‘Emerging from Gorse’.
“Fib Central” in ‘Ordinary to Enschede’.
In ‘Jarg Armani’ : “Therefore praise the permanent fixture in this firmament” ?
”Now that Thelma’s gone” ?
(Nigel said he likes all those old names, like Joyce, Doreen, Phyllis, etc, and he’s thought about doing a song about a Norma)
“And her sense of relief at my friendly tone
Reveals itself in her karmic moan”
“goose rule”
Spelling of “Edward McCrae” confirmed.
“used to be in Acidic Regulator [the name of a band] from near the equator .”
“Was it you who invented the school run at the Laboratoires Garnier, Gaul?”
“Prick barriers at both ends”
Spelling of “McVeigh” confirmed
A survey on “alley gates”
“The mummers and the poppers”.
“Pleasure grounds with maze in the shape of a sled” (not “maize”). Citizen Kane reference.
In “Evening of Swing”, it’s all “has”, with no “hads” or “haths”.
“Too late with your Nxe3”
“Me go Leominster, eat dog’s heart”
“Thelwall Friday afternoon
So much so for Brig o’Doon” ?
“porcine feed”
The final part of ‘Give us Bubblewrap’ is “bubblewrap, doublewrap, other crap, have it back, dinner queues, river cruise, Bladder News (a freesheet of sorts) inner tubes.” Nigel confirmed that the song is primarilyabout the residents of an old folks’ home.
“His exposed skull a perch for the quartering crow”
“(Don’t fear Bert), Red Cross box, clipboard and chit, (Bert hears Bells) Come be my queen of quick wit.” Nigel explained that one should ignore old Bert the commissionaire on the door as he’s merely tokenistic (no-one has the heart to sack him) and that he simply smiles at everyone and “hears bells” in his head permanently.
“website nonce”
“try my hand at drag”
“the laurel walk” is the only one from the new album so far.
16 March 2010
a_p
A tinge of sadness now that the magic has been broken…
Like looking up the answers to the crossword rather than filling it in with answers you’ve spent ages sweating over then bending and justifying to your own satisfaction.
Perhaps the next release will be accompanied by a lyrics booklet only for Nigel to produce more of those ephemeral moments during live performances where all ears are keen to pick up the variations.
Hey-ho as they say, as the mysteries unravel…
16 March 2010
Chris The Siteowner
I know what you mean, but Nigel has only confirmed or corrected a few dozen of our most pressing enquiries, and there are many, many more which Exxo didn’t get around to asking about. So there’ll be plenty more pedantry to follow, I’m sure.
16 March 2010
Colin Hammond
Just to let you know, the various groups on FB have chosen Joy Divivion Oven Gloves to be the 6Music protest song to get in the charts, buying week 4-11 April. Link
17 March 2010
@steve_nicholls
Well we haven’t really got stuck into This Leaden Pall yet…
I’m looking forward to singing “Papal entourage give us a song” when Popey visits the UK this year.
Has anyone thought of attending in Slipknot fancy dress..?
17 March 2010
Neil G
Chris – ” there’ll be plenty more pedantry to follow, I’m sure.”
What we really need is a new album’s worth of stuff to argue over, don’t you think?
23 March 2010
Joe
As long as the correct words are given for ‘Four Skinny Indie Kids’, ie ‘Web site Notts’ and not the clearly incorrect ‘Web site nonce’, I’ll be happy.
26 March 2010
Charles Exford
Second Saturday in Lent. The annual pilgrimage to Prenton. Cleansing, purifying us Commodores of our erroneous ways. Like last year, three precious points for the Rovers. Unlike last year, only two points of clarification. But equally vital:
(i) ‘nonce’ is confirmed. Those who advocated ‘Notts’ receive the mandatory automatic suspension.
(ii) The appeal against its red card by ‘brag’ is rejected. It’s ‘drag’ and evermore shall be.
22 March 2011
Charles Exford
Sorry – the 4 question marks there have escaped from when they were questions in another document and they should’t be there any more.
31 October 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
Perhaps Chris could produce some sort of Certificate of Authenticity for those who, like Charles, find the means to solve once and for all, the minutiae which we regularly struggle with on this site. (Not that I’m in any danger of receiving one given my track record in recent weeks).
Oh and in the interests of pure pedantry you understand, one of Exxo’s 4 fugitive question marks is, in fact, correctly placed.
31 October 2011