30 Jan 2008
I’ve only got three bullets and there’s four of Motley Crue
Every Half Man Half Biscuit fan loves the “list songs” and 2005′s Achtung Bono CD didn’t disappoint. Upon Westminster Bridge is just a stream of consciousness list of stuff from everyday life in Britain in the early noughties. For no bloody reason whatsoever. And that, of course, is the whole point. No, I’m not going to put any umlauts in Motley Crue either.
See lyrics of Upon Westminster Bridge
20 Letters Sent:
Jo
‘Christ that sun’s hot’
‘Yes that’s right, sir.’
But thanks for the ‘ and pulled up at Bangor-on-Dee’ – that’s been bugging me for ages cause I couldn’t work it out.
Mar 2nd, 2008
chris
Thanks Jo! Amendment duly made.
Mar 2nd, 2008
Bob Arctor
Is it not “Big queue Homebase”?
Sep 13th, 2008
grim
Bob: I have a sneaking suspicion that it is indeed.
Sep 14th, 2008
Coops
As a self-confessed hater of those bloody DIY and makeover programmes the “Nick Fucking Knowles” line gets me every time!
Feb 4th, 2009
Doomhammer
Also pretty sure it’s ‘big queue Homebase’
Apr 9th, 2009
Charles Exford
I’m 80% it’s B&Q squashed into “bean q” to fit the 4 syllables of each line. The vowel is a little more /i:/ than /I/ and the elision of /g/ and /q/ would produce something different to what we got here.
Anyway if it was “big queue” that would suggest that it was the big queue aspect of the Homebase experience that was crap (like the high tide aspect of the bird watch), as oppposed to the whole concept of the place, and of B & Q.
Apr 9th, 2009
TWO FAT FEET
Late in the day I know, but I go with the B&Q Homebase reading, although the big queue reference would be appropriate for Homebase given there are still rarely more than two tills open even on busy days. Which has been the case for much of my 21 years working for the company!
Apr 3rd, 2010
Charles Exford
A couple of random observations.
1. There are no UK race meetings on Good Friday. Tried to bet on the US racing on the telly last night instead, but that always makes me feel like I’m just playing a crap seaside arcade game.
2. A packet of “Dead Sea Bath Salts” has recently appeared on the side of our bath. Probably from Home Bargains.There’s a blurb about how “legendary beauties such as the Queen of Sheba and Cepatra travelled from afar to bathe in the waters of the Dead Sea … bla bla Kings like Solomon and David…”
Then it says “Ingredients: sodium chloride.” And that’s it.
Produced by a company in Ilkeston or somewhere like that.
Apr 3rd, 2010
Ben
Any mention of Edgware Road reminds me of this great apocryphal tale of John Ronsons from when he was in Frank Sidebottoms band.
Chris Evans was our driver, briefly. We used to drive around in a transit van. One time we were playing in London and we pulled up on Edgware Road and the driver – I can’t remember if it was Chris Evans – wound down the window and said, “Excuse me, mate?”
“Yeah?” said a passer-by.
“Is this London?” said the driver.
“Yeah,” said the passer-by.
“Well, where do you want this wood?” said the driver.
Apr 3rd, 2010
Precocious Mckenzie
Charles – “A packet of “Dead Sea Bath Salts” has recently appeared on the side of our bath”.
I vaguely recall Peggy Mount advertising this product some years ago and she was never what you would class “legendary beauty” even though her face suggested she may have travelled from afar.
Original Radox remains the “safe bet” imho.
Apr 5th, 2010
Richard
Oh! Mr. Porter, what shall I do?
I want to go to Birmingham
And they’re taking me on to Crewe
Marie Lloyd c 1900
possible the origins of the Help me Mrs Medlicott to motle crue verse?
May 4th, 2010
Stan Clarke
Check the link
http://www.liverpoolrevival.org.uk/tent_crusade.htm
There’s a mention of Mrs Medlicott from Bootle, seems like a helpful soul
Aug 17th, 2010
inspection's
This is NOT upon westminster bridge rip off
Dec 6th, 2010
Charles Exford
Have the poetry title police gone yet ? Somebody tell ‘A Shropshire Lad’ he can come out from behind the wardrobe.
While I’m here, I’ve always heard “four _IN_ Motley Crue”.
Dec 10th, 2010
Raffertisation
Surely “Christ that sun’s hot” should read “Christ, that soup’s hot”?
I should be doing other things at 25 past 7 on a Sunday morning other than attempting to correct HMHB lyrics.
Dec 12th, 2010
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
It’s definitely “Christ that sun’s hot, Yes that’s right sir.”
I’ve always imagined it as portraying a situation somewhat similar to the following;
Rotund, balding middle-aged man with pasty face but lobster red arms, tattooed with WHU ICF across back of hands stumbles out of Benidorm Rose & Crown, blinking and sweating and exclaims ‘Christ that sun’s hot’.
Slightly despairing, somewhat sarcastic, homespun philosopher, who is wondering exactly why he is on the Costa Blanca when he would much rather be halfway up the Wrekin with an empty flask of tea, responses with ‘Yes that’s right sir, as a spectral class G2 star the sun’s surface temperature will be approximately 5778 K (that’s 5505 °C, however if you want it in Fahrenheit then multiply the Celsius temperature by 9, divide the answer by 5, then add 32). This high temperature is generated by the nuclear fusion of hydrogen nuclei into helium in the Sun’s core fusing at a rate of 430–600 million tons of hydrogen per second. That is going to generate a lot of heat so consequently the only reasonable response to your exhortation is, as I’ve previously said, ‘Yes that’s right sir.’
Fight ensues with inevitable consequences.
Dec 12th, 2010
Fredorrarci
Barry Cryer in the Uxbridge English Dictionary round (new definitions for old words) of this week’s I’m Sorry I Haven’t a Clue:
Crucifix: Religious adhesive.
Jan 23rd, 2011
Charles Exford
It does seem by the way that the high tide birdwatch on the Dee Estuary is quite the thing. Watching the waders and the wildfowl come home to roost and that.
So I was great big silly old Exford when I assumed that the collocation had negative implications on this track.
Not much to see in Wallasey at high tide when I were a lad you see.
Feb 1st, 2011
Norbert D
Shouldn’t “Christ that sun’s hot” be in quotes? It’s obviously supposed to be someone else saying it.
Not sure if this is actual pedantry or just a style guide issue…
Oct 3rd, 2011
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