I’ve tried to concentrate on the later songs on this site, because the oldies are already well documented on various places around Teh Interweb; however, I’m adding The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman just to stop any more people sending in the lyrics (thanks, by the way!). And in case you’re wondering, “Dean emphatically denies this claim“, which is nice. Thanks to Neil, Nigel, Dave, EskimoEric and possibly others whose emails I’ve lost.
See lyrics to The Bastard Son Of Dean Friedman
Brian
Surely it’s “I would shed a lonely tear”?
Can’t really imagine shedding a lovely tear…
28 August 2008
Dave Betts
Isn’t it ‘lonely tear’?
29 August 2008
halfarsed
shed a LONELY tear? no?
29 August 2008
Chris
Hmmm, let’s say it’s “shed a lonely tear” shall we?
29 August 2008
Bill Stow
The spelling of the german football team should either be Borussia Moenchengladbach or if use of the umlaut is required then it would be Borussia Monchengladbach with the two dots over the ‘o’.Confusing them with Munchen with the umlaut over the ‘u’ or Muenchen if no umlaut will cause you to be visited by the Borussia skins who will smash your windows as the home side always wins. Moenchengladbach is North Germany whereas Muenchen is in the south.
I would have passed my Geography O level if I could have found my way to the exam room
yours etc
Bill
7 February 2009
Chris The Siteowner
Oops. I would not like to offend the Borussia Skins. It’s bad enough having the Stromsgodset under fives running amok in the village.
7 February 2009
Chris The Siteowner
Dean Friedman has posted A Baker’s Tale on to Soundcloud. This is his response to TBSODF, as performed at the Bilston gig in 2010.
4 July 2011
Bobby String
Interesting to see he describes Nigel as “punk’s greatest lyricist” – not sure NB would be flattered by the use of either ‘punk’ or ‘lyricist’ to describe him.
Ô¿Ô
4 July 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
A Baker’s Tale is by no means the worst song I’ve ever heard (that would probably be by Phil Collins). – I shall categorize it in my ‘Strange, Quirky or Downright Uncatagorizable’ file alongside Susanna and the Magical Orchestra’s version of ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’ and Ivor Cutler’s’ Life in a Scotch Sitting Room’.
Notice that the other track Dean has posted on Soundcloud is called Hob-Nobbin’. Is the man biscuit obsessed?
4 July 2011
John Burscough
Dean Friedman’s on tour throughout October; anybody fancy going along to see if he’ll play ABT?
1 September 2011
Chris The Siteowner
Ooh, and he’s at LIPA too: Dean Friedman tells Jade Wright why he’s planning revenge on Half Man Half Biscuit
29 September 2011
Jeff Dreadnought
Yes, according to the article, he’s planning to “extract” (sic) his revenge. Tut, tut.
29 September 2011
TWO FAT FEET
Maybe he’s planning to “extract” the urine. Something of a one-sided contest judging by his efforts so far.
29 September 2011
Jeff Dreadnought
The phrase “one legged man at an arse-kicking contest” springs to mind.
29 September 2011
Gregg Z
Mr. Dreadnought, you are one of the world’s finest gentlemen. I’ve always thought the “one-legged man” phrase is about the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.
As for Mr. Friedman, if he is planning to “extract” his revenge, perhaps someone ought to send him a jar of language pills.
Dean Friedman seems to be living off of the success of HMHB. Funny, since the group itself can barely do that..
29 September 2011
John Burscough
Apparently the UK band Half-Man, Half-Biscuit, had a hit with TBSODF.
http://www.thebloomsbury.com/event/run/1575
11 October 2011
Charles Exford
Just seen Jeff’s comment – quality. Yes, in some quarters the ‘historic moment’ feel of Deano’s appearance in Bilston last year has been allowed to mask the fact that his ‘revenge’ song is piss-poor. In fact no, that’s being too harsh on piss.
Apparently he liked the subbuteo streaker I threw on stage though.
11 October 2011
Paddy
Hey hey my my. Page 48 of the London Evening Standard ( it’s free and I only read the gig guide anyway) advert for our old friend Dean Friedman? “Entirely unique, utterly brilliant” sayeth the hitherto unknown magazine Three Weeks which awards five stars. (£25 a ticket seems a bit steep)
21 October 2011
Archie D Walker
This song tells my story…the kids at school mocked ME in my secondhand clothes,then my dad used to play Shopping Bag Ladies BY dean Friedman and tell me I should listen to the words..
8 October 2012
Pop-Tart Mark
How old are you, Archie? Deano was born 1955, active in NJ/NY during the 70′s, first in UK about 1978 – maybe your dad was trying to find a way to tell you more?
8 October 2012
archie d walker
hi pop-tart mark,i’m thirty,born 1st august 1982,and under a different name! my ‘father’,the man who had a mullet in his passport photo when i was young,told me as soon as my mother left him,that i was ‘different to my younger brothers’,had curly hair,”which nobody in [his] family had”,….aaalso,he would tell me when i was growing up,a couple of times,that he had his camera bag stolen in 1981(“about nine months before i was born(as i recall!what ever time it was before i was born,i HAD been conceived))….
yeh,i was brought up with a deano from when i was 11years old…used to like him.was shocked when i saw he’d died a few years ago(on youtube comments)…..used to like dean’s songs,theres an amazing video on youtube of shopping bag ladies,he was fantastic!
the odd thing is,and the ONLY reason i think i’m a celebs illegit son,three months after my 18th(2000),i heard a voice (the first ‘thought’ i knew wasnt my own) in my bedroom oine night,it just said “you are the new messiah”…since then i’ve been reaqding tons of stuff in music….e.g.song 2 by blur…it was me who had my head done when i was young(hit by a car 4 days before my 13th birthday,funnily enough,my friend(who i was with)has told me i was spread-eagled on the tarmac,blowing bubbles in my blood,which was coming out of the back of my head)….much like the hmhb album cover for 90 bisodol!!!
going back to song 2,i had my head ‘checked’ in late half of 2001,in my first flat(and before i was sectioned)…stood at backdoor smoking heard “look for a sign”,and realised i was looking at a plane in the night sky,the lights on it resembled a set of stars in the sky.two years later from a hospital friend who had a book of starmaps,i realised it was pegasus constellation[symbolises rebirth)....
there's obviously a LOT of information from my whole life that supports my messianic claims,e.g.aged 14 months,before i could walk my mum,'father' and i were on holiday in portugal.i could only crawl,but swam in the deep end of the pool with my inflatables on...some five/six year old girls at the hotel called me 'super nick'!!!!lol...ironic....[wich is the alanis morrisette song!!!]
29 October 2012
archie d walker
also,just another song by hmhb,hair like bryan may blues….i have very curly hair!
29 October 2012
archie d walker
look dad no tunes…..my mulletheaded stepfather would always,ALWAYS dismiss music of the 90′s,my teen years,as “has no tune”…..it got very tedious! another insightful; hmhb song,which i cannot find on this site is ‘quality janitor’….its very embarassing,but when i was 12 years of age,we had an au-pair called janetta[slovakian]….after spending six months of acting improperly towards me,she married the man with the mullet….soooo,its more “good one janetta”…maybe?i hope so!!lol
29 October 2012
archie d walker
going back to my “‘illness’”,six months after the voice[you are the new messiah],and one month after a picture of me was printed on page 3 of The Times,on 27th march 2001,[it was associated with BBC 'son of god' documentary,a skull reconstructed.thought tpo be that of jesus,found near jerualem dating to 1AD],on may 4th 2001 i was out with a friend at about nine pm,i was blinded by a bright light for a minute.after i could see again i said to that friend how “funny it’d be if theres a shooting staqr as well”….that second there was five or six,star spangled banner like.
29 October 2012
archie d walker
also,mulletfather told me throughout my teens to ‘read this book’,called “a laymans guide to psychiatry and psychoanlysis”,wehich he’d been given in 1978 by his first wife.the case of ‘cary fayton’ IS my illness,to a tee!judgingf from one sentence that the author staes cary wouldnt speak to his mother,”just smiled and asked her ‘do you like porridge’”i guess it was the father of scientology’s founder.ron hubbard snr.
29 October 2012
archie d walker
it was ME who ‘tended the wrong grave for 23 years’!!!ie.saw the wrong man as dad.
29 October 2012
archie d walker
its funny…i first heard hmhb in virgin megastore,Reading,aged 14.it was voyage album,with the phones pressed hard against my ears,so it was loud,i yelled to my friends “this is f@*?ing excellent!”.they were stood about ten metres away,i left the store with them,and didnt hear hmhb again.BUT,on looking intyo hmhb on youtube a year ago,i realised ‘mr cave is a wndow cleaner now’ was recorded four daysw after i came out of my coma,which was due to the head injury.obviously,i was a ‘nick’ up until age 28.
30 October 2012
archie d walker
and also…mulletman said the following to me several times when i was age 17-18…”when i took you and your mother in”,so he really hadnt met my mum when i was born!!!
31 October 2012
archie d walker
and grandmother mullet[r.i.p.],who died when i was 16,remarked a few months before she passed away,”nick’s definitely a mother’s son”
31 October 2012