1. 1

   Bill Stow

   You may be right about dreaming about meeting a girl who would regard mathematically safe as an attractive comment. Hey this would mean she understood football and the importance of this safe from relegation position in the league. But then again being mathematically safe equals not going down. So your sex life could be hampered somewhat methinks. Nurse – the screens.

   Jan 16th, 2009

2. 2

   Charles Exford

   Mrs. Exford was dancing around playing this song at high volume on Saturday afternoon after Blackpool got the point they needed to bolt the trapdoor shut for another season. Alarm bells had been ringing up right up to the final whistle, with Forest needing 3 points themselves to ensure mathematical safety and the tiring tangerine wizards down to ten men for over twenty minutes.

   I looked into her eyes as we chanted the lyrics. I was chanting about her of course, but she, more concerned with survival, was chanting about Blackpool FC. Ah well, she at least understood my sentiments, her grandad having spent most of his professional career hanging round the trapdoor with Doncaster Rovers and then Blackpool (where he was on Stanley Mortensen’s coaching staff).

   Tranmere, meanwhile, must have realised that whether they got one point or three it would still mean they would probably need to win at Scunthorpe next Sunday, so took pity and let Yeovil have their own little point for mathematical safety. Cheltenham, having fallen through the trapdoor themselves after a brave but futile end-of-season revival, are unlikely to do The Rovers any favours at Scunthorpe tomorrow.

   As ever it’s the hope that kills you.

   Unless of course you support Chester, where if you still have any hope left they’ll put you in a mental hospital. And how do the good folk of Grimsby feel, I wonder, where they are not going down barring two outbreaks of Stromsgodset-like defending, and yet technically they are not mathematically safe ?

   It’s probably just as well for Chester. The Mariners have safety in their blood but Air Sea Rescue had to be called in the last time The Deviants celebrated avoiding the drop. “Lilos Swept out to Sea as Deesiders Celebrate Safety” read the headline.

   Meanwhile the Solent is full of suicidal Saints. Imagine that your best hope was that you could somehow scramble to mathematical safety just so they could take the points away from you again sooner rather than later, and then being denied even that. It’s like some sort of trial-by-ordeal from the Dark Ages. “So you reckon you’re a Saint do you? Well how does martyrdom sound ? And if you look like dying too quickly, we’ll stop and torture you some more next season. Crucifixion ? Too good for ‘em. ”

   Sometimes instead of Rupert Lowe or Laurie McMenemy, I’d much prefer some Laurie Lee …

   Apr 27th, 2009

3. 3

   Ben

   Exxo, much looking forward to going back to Prenton after the Bees assured they were mathematically safe for the League 2 championship on Saturday @ Darlo. Strange experience watching togger in a stadium with 2 sides empty.

   See you in the Clipper next season la.

   Apr 27th, 2009

4. 4

   Charles Exford

   Congrat’s Ben, but sounds like there’s a good chance you’ll be at Prenton before my next visit – I’m strictly a ‘Commodore’ at best these days, and even when I was a Rovers regular growing up in the 70′s there was another, deeper love in my heart, which now, in exile across the Pennine Ridge, takes priority upon my meagre part-timer’s wages.

   In other words I’ll still make it to the very occasional Friday night game when Liverpool are at home on the Saturday.

   Having said which, if Rovers do make the play-offs I’ll be there, like a glory-hunting part-time commodore in someone else’s navy.

   Wishing you a tranquil sea of alright,
   Exxo.

   Apr 28th, 2009

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