The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

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179 pop songs picked over by pedants

Neil Morrissey’s a knobhead

Bottleneck At Capel Curig is a live favourite and at first glance seems pretty straightforward, but the three people who I’m grateful to for sending in this one arrived at some wildly differing interpretations of one or two lines. I’ve taken the consensus, and listened to two session versions as well as the original, but I’m sure there may be a few, er, suggestions. Thanks to Neil G, gNick and Jon F

See lyrics to Bottleneck At Capel Curig

20 Letters Sent:
  1. “Neil Morrisey’s a knobhead” is Nigel’s greatest non sequitur

    Doesn’t Neil’s surname have another ‘s’?

    On a different issue, I see Lennie Bennett has died. HMHB never namechecked him (as far as I know), although he’s the type of nano celebrity who usually find a way into their songs. Rest in peace Lennie.

  2. 3

    Ian in Colorado

    I always idly wondered whether a judiciously placed comma was intended, viz. “Neil, Morrissey’s a knobhead”.

    I don’t think so, but still…..

  3. 4

    Charles Exford

    On the Peel version you can hear another “a” after “Forever in…”

    It’s as if whenever it’s a specific curse, you get ‘a bottleneck’, but when it’s the general state of purgatory that is being in the car on hols with your family, you don’t.

    But then again if that were the case, we’d maybe get “a” after “cause” as well, but it’s not there.

    So I’ll stick to mithering Maud with me theories, and not bother you noble Biscuitistas with me endless futile attempts to find significance.

  4. 5

    simon smith

    Ian in Colorado, you have just made an old man very happy. Props to you for making me laugh through a biblical hangover. If only twere true, huh?

  5. 6

    Petrovic

    I’ve always heard the last bit as ‘My shade will cause…’ and assumed he’s doomed to haunt the place forever.

  6. 7

    falcon randwick

    Neil Morrissey is not a COMPLETE knobhead, he bought my book of poetry in the street in Adelaide, South Australia without any argument. Although i still think he’s a bit of a knobhead…

  7. 8

    falcon randwick

    Mind you, the other Morrissey is TOTALLY A KNOBHEAD.

  8. 9

    Neil G

    ‘sins’ should be ‘sin’ to rhyme with ‘So I’m not forever in’

  9. 10

    Mr Larrington

    In the White Lion of Mortimer one New Year’s Eve a woman asked me if I was Neil Morrissey. I can only assume that she was vair vair drunk.

  10. 11

    Richard Lovell

    Could it be ‘my shape will cause…’ at the end?

    Thanks for the police in Hawaii line. Never knew what to sing there.

  11. 12

    Ben

    Proof, if ever it were needed of Mr Morrisseys forehead appendage.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZq8A59NH1U

  12. 13

    dagenham dave

    good grief, I had to turn it off, there should be a law against recording guff like that!

  13. 14

    Ricardo

    The only flicker of enjoyment I got from that horrific video was by reading the comments, where some called gwenathy seems to think that this is the same Morrissey who fronted The Smiths.

  14. 15

    Charles Exford

    Ha ha, good idea, I’m defo going on there to post several comments as if I thought it was the same Morrissey who played on the wing for Tranmere, and whose dad did the same for Everton.

  15. 16

    Jack moss

    I think the police are in Hawaii?…. I’d always heard the line as ‘fate decrees they’re in Hawaii’ as I understood it, he hopes they’re in the middle of a bottleneck at capel curig but with his misfortune, they’re probably somewhere much nicer…. Like Hawaii!

  16. 17

    John Anderson

    That’s a brilliant spot. I’ve just listened to it again and it’s definitely “fate decrees they’re in Hawaii” (note correct spelling of Hawaii) which is just perfect.

  17. Yes, I would agree. While I was at it though, I also listened to a couple of other versions. The Peel Session (1999) one isn’t quite as clear to me, but could still be “fate decrees”. The BBC Radio Merseyside (2007) one, however, doesn’t sound like that at all …more like “take the cruise around Hawaii”.

  18. 19

    Bobby String

    This is one of my best ‘mis-heard lyrics’ songs from HMHB, two really bizarre ones. Firstly, instead of “Fate decrees they’re in Hawaii” on first listening sounded to me like “Feed the trees there in Hawaii” which obviously makes no sense at all. “Fate decrees” makes much more sense.

    Also, I heard “My shame will cause” as “My shave will come”! I thought Nigel was making an obscure reference to the Burma Shave billboard ads, or maybe Tom Waits’ excellent song of the same title based on those ads.

    Thank God this site exists to put me right!

    Ô¿Ô

  19. 20

    Robin Bussell

    I’ve always heard “my shade will cause” … seems appropriate as he is “on his way out” at the time.
    Then again maybe he’s thinking of public baptismal cleansing of his shameful past in the stream by the chapel, which would probably hold up traffic on the A5 quite nicely :)

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