The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

1. Hoagy

   I think it’s “Ryder Cup & V”

   May 1st, 2008

2. chris

   Of course it is. D’oh!

   May 1st, 2008

3. Dave

   it is – hard hat, tabbard, torch and cocky toolbag.

   May 2nd, 2008

4. chris

   Indeed it is, thanks!

   May 2nd, 2008

5. Paul

   The third parentheses in the last part starts with “Don’t be” (but I can’t figure out the last word).

   May 3rd, 2008

6. SeanyMac

   Hi Chris

   The lyrics in brackets don’t mean anything to me, but this is what I’m hearing:

   (Don’t fear breasts) – Best’s?
   (Best is Bell’s) – whiskey?

   What???

   Sorry I can’t be more help!

   Sean

   May 7th, 2008

7. SeanyMac

   Another possibility on the second bit in brackets:

   “Burst his belt”?

   Someone put me out of my misery!

   Cheers,

   Sean

   May 8th, 2008

8. simon smith

   Given the theme of the song, the last word of line one and first of the second could be `vest`. It still makes no sense to these cloth ears though.
   Don`t fear vests
   Vest is ??

   May 10th, 2008

9. Dil

   Is the last brackets bit “Set is closed”?

   Jun 20th, 2008

10. Gareth

    last bracket – first is…?

    which is about as much use as a solar powered miners lamp, but give us time…

    Jul 8th, 2008

11. Paul B

    It’s St John or St Joseph

    Jul 30th, 2008

12. Dil

    I’m sure that the bracketed bit before “Come be my queen of quick wit” is (set is closed).

    Aug 2nd, 2008

13. Max Williams

    paul B – it’s definitely “St John or Showsec” –
    http://sites.stocksphere.com/showsec/

    Sep 1st, 2008

14. Jim Poole

    The bit in brackets seems to repeat the last word of the first line at the start of the 2nd… Does that help? (didn’t think so…?)

    Don’t fear ‘vert’ (?)
    ‘Vert’ is bells

    Sep 23rd, 2008

15. Finway

    I thought it was more like
    “Don’t fear Bert”
    “Bert is…”

    Sep 25th, 2008

16. Colin

    Don’t fear dirt
    Dirt is …..lls

    Its an option.

    Oct 24th, 2008

17. Decker

    Tabard (one b – the in line spell checker is wrong)

    Definitely St John’s (ambulance) people who wear hi vis and get in for free

    I heard “First is” too but will relisten

    Nov 25th, 2008

18. Charles Exford

    I think we’re getting somewhere with this one and we’ve got to keep going. Perhaps using ever more sophisticated sonic equipment for isolating those BV frequencies (which rules me out). We’re getting warmer, but not quite there. My best shot with my shite stereo at the moment is:

    Don’t Feel hurt, Red Cross Box, Clipboard and Chit
    First in’s Bones (meaning = the medics will always get in first?)
    Come be my Queen of Quick wit.

    I do sort of think it could help to see them as four lines which follow on from each other, like the “I don’t pay, I am the king of hi-Vis” and maybe, just maybe, the clue is in the fact that this character is talking to a woman who would also like to get in the gig, and saying ‘come with me, I can help you get in darlin’ …’

    This is the big one for me.

    Together in ‘09 we can crack this choral conundrum !

    Jan 15th, 2009

19. Dave F.

    This was playing in the background & wasn’t really listening intently but jumped out at me:

    The second ‘Powered by bright waistcoats and bibs’ sounds like ‘and divs’

    As in a stupid person, recently discussed on the Jarge Armani page

    http://www.chrisrand.com/hmhb/snide-rosettes-outside-the-ground/

    It seems to have a harder attack to the sound than B produces. He even seems to emphasize it slightly.

    Maybe Exford needs to put it through his slowed down CD machine.

    Jul 19th, 2009

20. Corinna

    The first bit in brackets sounds like “Don’t think twice” to me but I’m probably wrong.

    Jul 21st, 2009

21. Swanaldo

    I’m hearing:

    “Daubed in …(pens????)” Which makes some kind of sense.

    and,

    “Becks is cold”

    Aug 6th, 2009

22. Charles Exford

    @myself

    It’s not going to happen, is it ?

    Dec 31st, 2009

23. Charles Exford

    Eu – flippin’ – reka !

    Not that I worked it out for meself in the three or four hundred times I tried, but I am extremely happy, and not a little relieved, to be the one to tell you that it’s been confirmed as:

    “Don’t fear Bert
    Bert hears bells.”

    Bert is a doorman who is merely tokenistic (no-one has the heart to sack him) and he simply smiles at everyone and “hears bells” in his head permanently.

    I can get another hobby now.

    Mar 12th, 2010

24. Peter Gandy

    So Jim Poole and Finway from September 2008 were the nearest. How was it confirmed to you Exxo? A new hobby – I’m not convinced by “beyond the BROOK of eastern sages” in Children of Apocalyptic Techstep.

    Mar 12th, 2010

25. Chris The Siteowner

    I can reveal exactly how it was confirmed to “Charles”. Right here.

    Mar 12th, 2010

26. dagenham dave

    “Don’t fear Bert
    Bert hears bells.”

    I think it’s safe to say we would never have worked that one out.

    Mar 13th, 2010

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