24 Mar 2008
Sit back relax and watch us die of entertainment
Friday Night And The Gates Are Low is perhaps the archetypical HMHB football song. It ticks all the boxes: imagery of watching third division games in the cold, a mention of an obscure European team, you name it. And it provokes a wry nod of acknowledgement from anyone who’s suffered the opposing sub ruining their weekend. You don’t have to be a Tranmere supporter. Thanks to Dave for this one.
See lyrics for Friday Night And The Gates Are Low
36 Letters Sent:
Dave Betts
I hear ‘brace of Kalms’ rather than ‘brace of comps’ but both fit!
Mar 29th, 2008
Daryl
I always hear last line as:
‘and no, I haven’t got anything better to do’
great site. Be good if you could do Children of Apocalyptic Techstep. Drives me mad that i can never make out all of the lyrics to that one!
Apr 17th, 2008
chris
You could well be right Daryl. I defy anyone to make out whether it’s “and” or “I”. Please feel free to vote, readers.
While we’re at it, I’m also wondering if it’s “son” rather than “sub” at the end, even if “sub” is funnier.
Apr 17th, 2008
grim
Pretty sure it’s “bastard slip of a sub” just as you have it. And I’d vote for “and no…” at the end but that’s just based on memory rather than careful listening or anything.
Apr 17th, 2008
Martin
Another one in the “And no I haven’t got…..” camp here.
Also “Bastard slip of a sub…….”, the obligatory sub who steps off the bench in the 80th minute and scores the only goal of the game – always at YOUR ground, in front of YOUR end. Don’t they have morals?
Apr 19th, 2008
colin
its definetley “brace of cobs in his hand”
Apr 27th, 2008
chris
“Cobs”? I’m going to sound ignorant here but I thought they were horses?
Apr 28th, 2008
colin
cobs,rolls baps…………..see what i mean………….and your’e right cobbs are horses
Apr 28th, 2008
chris
I still think it’s comps, as in “complimentary tickets” (that’s why Dad The Steward has them)…
Apr 28th, 2008
colin
fair play – i wont argue – top work. couldnt you have got a university bursary to study these lyrics? listening to the new album as i write – man with a mullet in millets with a mallet – quality
Apr 29th, 2008
gavinski
i’m dead pinickety, but it’s ‘new men run the crache’
‘the’, not ‘a’
cheers x
Jun 29th, 2008
Mr Larrington
I’m with Colin on this one. See, for example, “With this cheese cob, I’ll save de nation; save my tummy from starvation” from the sublime Lawnmower Deth (was it “Cobwoman Of Deth Meets Mr. Smellymop”?)
Jul 18th, 2008
paulie
The HMHB lyrics book published by Probe Plus a few years ago says “comps”.
I guess you use that book already?
scan:
http://i35.tinypic.com/wmf5us.gif
Sep 1st, 2008
Chris
@Paulie: I don’t have that book, nor did I ever see it at the time, although plenty of people seem to be referring to it! Good to know we’d come down on the right side though.
Sep 1st, 2008
paulie
I can scan it for you Chris. It would take away the challenge, but it could solve some eternal mysteries.
The book only goes up to “voyage to the bottom of the road” but has the b-sides as well as album tracks.
Sep 2nd, 2008
Chris The Siteowner
@Paulie: Thanks for the offer, but as you say, it’s a challenge. Many of the earlier ones are up on Half Man Half Biscuit Halfhearted anyway. But I shall be relying on you for corrections!
Sep 2nd, 2008
chesneywold
i’m certain it’s ‘and no i havent got anything better to do’. it’s surely a beautiful riposte to some imagined dweeb complaining about complaining as it were, nigel is anticipating this negative response to his whinge and it’s inevitable ‘havent you got anything better to do?’ attack.
Feb 1st, 2009
Drew Savage
I agree with Chesneywold, I’m certain it’s “and no I havent got anything better to do” as well, for the reasons he points out.
Also, I’m sure it’s “buy the shirt and darn some socks” – as in, fork out £40 and be forced to your abandon plans to replace life-expired hosiery…
Plus I’ve always heard the chorus as “bastards slip and the sods ruin my weekend” but that’s probably just my interpretation.
Oh, and… I’d always thought it was “so you came and went, cos on crap three-nil it was spent” – i.e. the new generation of casual fan family is enticed once to Prenton Park, watches them get drubbed at home and never comes back.
Mar 6th, 2009
Daryl
Just thinking, is the “reaching for the sky” line refering to Sky TV?
Here’s my reasoning (if anyone should give a shit); small club turns crap and sells star player, therefore fairweather supporter ups sticks and begins supporting, Liverpool, Man Utd etc through the medium of Murdoch’s TV Empire.
I’f this scenario is obvious to everyone, I apologise. Being slow, I’ve only just noticed it, and as “sky” in the lyrics isn’t capitalised…
May 31st, 2009
colin
“can’t stand any more
‘Cos I can’t stand any more.”…………..on a personal note i have not long said goodbye to Ninian Park home of my beloved Cardiff City and only just realised how poignant and incisive that lyric is.
After watching Cardiff for over 20 yrs i have found myself in a shiny new stadium where you guessed it ……..I CANT STAND ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!…….keep up the excellent work
Aug 4th, 2009
Steve Malkmoose
I always believed that Nigel was using a play on words with “Looks Familiar” cup (nice phrase), but with the first word having the same pronunciation, for us Northerners at least, as “Lux” (as in Luxembourg, where Jeunesse D’Esch are one of the top teams).
Just a thought. Happy to be shot down in flames.
Aug 5th, 2009
Norbert D
I’ll second that (“Lux Familiar cup”). It’s a play on all those weird semi-friendly tournaments, isn’t it, like the Anglo-Italian Cup. There’s no joke there otherwise, and it’d be a bit of a coincidence to mention a club from Luxembourg if the pun wasn’t deliberate.
Mar 2nd, 2010
Norbert D
Also, I’d second “reaching for the Sky”. Should definitely be capitalised, I reckon. It has to be a Sky TV reference, cos that makes perfect sense in the context, and it doesn’t really mean anything otherwise.
Mar 2nd, 2010
Peter Gandy
I once played in the Lux Interior Cup. I was stretchered off with cramps.
I’ll get me coat.
Mar 2nd, 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Happy to go with capitalised “Sky”. What does The Lyrics Book say about the cup, anyone who’s got it?
Mar 2nd, 2010
s.g.d A Shropshire Lad
the lyric book says:
New men run the creche
While home defeats by Jeunesse D’Esch
In the Lux familiar cup
Are rendered pointless
&
Star man said “Bye Bye”
And now you’re reaching for the sky
Sit back relax and watch us die
Of entertainment
& the last line says:
“I know l haven’t got anything better to do.
s.g.d.
Mar 2nd, 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Well, as we know, the lyric book ain’t always right, but in this case I think it can be the final arbiter, except for the last line, where too many of us reckon it’s “and no…”
Mar 3rd, 2010
Chris The Siteowner
“And no…” is confirmed: Source
Mar 16th, 2010
Two Fat Feet
Maybe I never listened closely enough but I always heard it as “tonight’s attendance was two-three”, suggesting a gate of approx. 2 300 – quite feasible for a Friday night game in the lower divisions at the time?
Jun 20th, 2010
Lewis
It’s “I can’t stand any more, because I can’t stand anymore”
That’s to say: I can’t bear more of this, because I can no longer stand (reference to the introduction of all-seater stadiums).
…possibly the most pedantic correction yet made on the site, I concede.
Keep up the great work, by the way.
Oct 15th, 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Fair point. I’ve never been a fan of there being a distinction between “any more” and “anymore” but I’m open to any references to a definitive ruling having been made somewhere.
Oct 15th, 2010
Germ
I agree with Lewis,it’s not the difference between any more and anymore as the way the words are stressed,,,to me anyway.
Oct 15th, 2010
Exford
I think we all agree on the meaning & the stress.
As for how to write it, Chris is right in so far as most UK style guides don’t go with “anymore”, or any distinction in terms of meaning between “any more” and “anymore”, any more.
However, just because there’s no distinction in meaning between “any more” and “anymore” to be pedantic about, it doesn’t mean we can’t argue that it is more elegant to write it as Lewis suggests, as a better _illustration_ of the design and meaning of the line.
Oct 15th, 2010
Chris The Siteowner
I’d better change it so we don’t have to discuss this any more.
See also:
…no beef with Elgin, Nairn or Brora anymore…
…Gary doesn’t live here anymore…
…Sparks won’t come from Germany anymore…
…I don’t want them saying this town doesn’t care anymore…
…A comedy parkie and nobody loves me anymore…
…(I don’t need any more) Stark German film noirs…
…Just like everyone else does when they can’t think of any more words…
Oct 16th, 2010
Tonto's Expanding Waist Band
Incognito US sprouter Jay Z heard muttering outside Prenton Park after another lacklustre performance… “Beyoncé said that it was fun!”…
Feb 9th, 2011
Tonto's Expanding Waist Band
Eh, just a brief addition on the “any” “more” thing – “Anymore” could refer to a cessation of a passage of time or of an activitity (“I’m not doing that anymore”)… “Any more” could refer to an inclusion (or exclusion) of extra things (“I can’t think of any more words”)…
Feb 10th, 2011
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