The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Busking this at Embankment Tube tomorrow

179 pop songs picked over by pedants

Stick the Apple Mac in the car park

Give Us Bubblewrap is a good thrash with a couple of wry moments, largely about being in an old people’s home. The manufacturers of Bubblewrap even have a website where you can play with the stuff, by the way.

See lyrics to Give Us Bubblewrap

47 Letters Sent:
  1. 1

    bug

    I think it’s “Megalomaniacal, loaded for bear”

    As in: http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/loaded+for+bear

    Still can’t quite get the line before though…

  2. It always sounded like “loaded with bear” to me, which made so little sense, I didn’t put it in. “Loaded for bear” makes more sense, but I can’t hear “for”. Anyone else?

  3. 3

    Houtini

    Agree with bug – “loaded for bear” was one of Nigel’s epithets for the disgruntled 24 hour garage guy in 2006′s Sheffield gig. Got footage to prove it!

    And I think the line before is “porcine…..” (as in pig-like) possibly “porcine fiend” but can’t be sure.

  4. OK, you guys have it!

  5. 5

    Martin Taylor

    Hi

    It could be “The poor kind Bede”

    Cheers,

    Martin

  6. Best effort yet – thanks. I’ll stick it in with a query for now.

  7. 7

    Ian

    Megalomaniacal, loaded for bear

    makes more sense as

    Megalomaniacal, loaded forebear … meaning ancestor, referring to the Venerable Bede

    from dictionary.com
    n. A person from whom one is descended; an ancestor.

    sounds the same too. Just a thought.

  8. 8

    max williams

    The venerable Bede was a lovely fellow by all accounts…i can’t work this bit out either but i thought it might be

    “the stiff vision re the poor “

  9. 9

    max williams

    oops, looks like putting stuff in triangle brackets means it gets cut out :)

    i meant to say
    “the stiff vision re the poor ‘something something’“

    not that that adds any more info to my last post…

  10. 10

    max williams

    Think it might be

    “the stiff visionary, the porcine fiend”

    that at least makes some sense to me…

  11. 11

    max williams

    although having just looked it up, porcine is pronounced “por – sine” rather than “por-kine”, and i’m sure nigel would know that. bah…

  12. 12

    chris p

    I accept I’m probably/possibly wrong here, but I’m picking up “I think your diplomats are dead over there”. Makes less sense with the chorus, but might fit the typical warlord!

  13. 13

    chris p

    errrr…just listened again, I think you’ve got it right on the diplomatic front after all!!

  14. 14

    Treadmore

    Pretty sure it’s “Thelwall Friday afternoon” (not Milwall) – just in case you weren’t aware, I’m talking about Thelwall of the infamous Thelwall Viaduct (M6 bridge – traffic jams); hence ref. to Brigadoon (Bridge of Doon). It’s not just the reference – it sounds like Thelwall anyway ;o)

  15. 15

    Ashley

    the last line of backing vocals mentions “Hobby-Craft” – i’m sure of it!

  16. 16

    Gareth

    So much so for Brigadoon – on the basis that Brigadoon is a place where no-one can never leave (Eyam, anyone?)

  17. 17

    billybookcase

    Definitely So much so for Brigadoon.

  18. 18

    billybookcase

    Yes I think it’s Hobbycraft not ‘have it back’.

  19. 19

    Neil G

    Hmm, sounds like ‘blather news’, rather than ‘avenues’ to me, possibly meaning gossip, useless stuff. ‘Avenues’ doesn’t seem to make much sense. Just a thought.

  20. 20

    Matt

    maybe its just me but i thought he said “the poor kind being”?
    who knows lol

  21. 21

    Jan

    I would have said “the porcine being”, although news of its pronunciation as “por-sine” has me rattled, now. I definitely think Nigel is still referring to the “typical warlord” when he says “I think your diplomats should get over there and give him bubblewrap”.

  22. 22

    Jim Poole

    Line 5:

    Don’t they know all they’ve really got to do is

    Should read :

    Don’t they know THAT all they’ve really got to do is

    JP

  23. 23

    Jan

    Just a note: I had Poetry Please on Radio 4 chuntering in the background a week or so ago and Roger McGough was reading “Dangerous Dan McGrew”, written by Robert Service in 1907 (I think they said, anyway). I point this out because the poem describes Dan as “loaded for bear”!

  24. 24

    Petrovic

    I’ve always heard it as “Millwall, Friday afternoon”…

  25. 25

    Colin

    I thought it was Milwall – but wouldn’t put money on it

  26. 26

    Oisin

    I always hear hover craft in that last line….

  27. 27

    Richard

    I am just not convinced its Bede. It sounds like ‘bee’ to me. And Bede was never poor. Not sure if he was known as especially kind either. Anyway if it was Bede, ‘Venerable’ would have been better and I think would have fit as well.

  28. 28

    Charles Exford

    I have no idea what he sings, but “bede” without a capital letter is Old English or Saxon for “priest”. All bedes were relatively poor and were supposed to be kind. The Gospel according to Google tells us that in the middle ages each Bedesman (or woman) was given a daily allowance of (say) one penny plus a weekly or monthly allotment of clothing and fuel (normally coal), for which they lived by a timetable of prayer and manual work. A Bede House was a type of almshouse run to a set of strict rules, typically run by a church.

  29. 29

    Jan

    From the notes (the notes! oh, joy!) now up on the website, it would appear that Nigel IS talking about Bede wiv a capital ‘buh’. Quite what he means by the rest of the couplet, well…

  30. That’s rather assuming the notes on the HMHB website have some sort of godlike authority, of course.

  31. 31

    Jan

    Er, yeah, and this is where I cringe at my own naivete. I out myself here and now as having thought for some time that Nigel wrote them. Please don’t hurt me……

  32. 32

    dj

    indeed! considering they have the “triple a dangling from my lanyard” from king of hi viz down as “amateur athletics association” rather than “access all areas”, i’ll forever be suspicious of their research abilities.

    *strokes chin*

  33. 33

    Jan

    Gosh, as well you might. I missed that. OK, then, so who do we think writes them? Geoff?

  34. 34

    Dave F.

    Err… Gez, maybe?
    If you email him, he will correct the entry.

  35. 35

    Paul

    Just come back from Marrakech – saw street kids popping bubblewrap to pass the time. Universal pastime on each continent.

    Paul

  36. 36

    Dagenham Dave

    I agree with Matt that rather than Bede I think it’s ‘being’.

    Despite the good arguments above I can only hear ‘Millwall’ in verse 2.

    In the last line I don’t think it’s ‘avenues’, it sounds like something beginning with ‘flav…’,

  37. 37

    John Anderson

    I also hear Millwall. Could it possibly be a reference to Millwall fans arriving ahead of Tranmere games which always used to be on Friday nights.

  38. 38

    Charlesford

    Personally I can only hear “Thelwall” (and the following ideas on the imagery are a result of hearing that, rather than a cause which might make me want to hear it).

    Nigel’s fond of his traffic & road references, and there’s not many places got mentioned in traffic jam news, or where NB was more likely to have got suck, more than the Thelwall viaduct in the early years of the 21st century (constant northbound lane closures for 3- 4 years, better now). Friday afternoon on that section? Purgatory.

    A lot of the images in the song seem to be of old folks, not being bothered about their jigsaws & coach trips as long as they have their bubble wrap. Personally I think the “Brigadoon” you’ve got Chris should in fact be Brig o’ Doon from the Robbie Burns poem, and of course a common calling off point on old folks coach holidays to Bonnie Scotland.

    Stuck in one coned-off lane at the Thelwall Viaduct, with a misty view down over the Ship Canal and the broad and noble River Weaver. Not exactly the picturesque Brig o’ Doon, but never mind if you’ve got bubble wrap.

    As for “being”, I agree there’s loads of non-rhymes in this one, like “other crap”, “send it back” etc, but those are joke rhymes with “bubble wrap”, and to put in “being” to rhyme with “greed” without any element of joke seems unlike NB, IMHO. A bede is a missionary, and NB seems to likes archaic words. Anyway, all such justifications are spurious when what you hear is what you hear. Personally I only hear “Bede”.

    I slowed this one down once, and heard “bede” & “Thelwall”, but that CD machine’s in another college, so I can’t check right now.

  39. 39

    Charles Exford

    I meant he “got stuck”.

    Though if he did “get suck” on the Thelwall Viaduct I say good luck to him.

  40. OK, this one’s out of the blue, but thanks to a tip-off :-) I have reason to believe that it is “porcine feed”, as postulated by Max earlier, and despite the pronunciation issues. I’m also going with Charles’ “Brig o’ Doon” as well, because it just seems to fit.

  41. 41

    Treadmore

    Like Neil G, I don’t hear “avenues”, though I thought “blabber news” rather than “blather news” as Neil G suggests.

    Do tell the reason to believe it’s “porcine feed” :)

  42. 42

    Charles Exford

    NB57 told me: “…bubblewrap, doublewrap, other crap, have it back, river cruise, dinner queues, Bladder News, inner tubes.”

    Bladder News is apparently a freesheet of sorts, which would probably be quite popular in an old folks’ home!

    “Thelwall” and “Brig o’ Doon” were also confirmed. Source

  43. 43

    uncle charlie

    It’s definitely “loaded for bear” – it’s an old millitary term now used to describe anyone who is over equipped.

    ..and it’s also definitely “Thelwall” as in the M6 viaduct close to the M56 turn off to the Wirral. “Thelwall, Friday afternoon” …notorious for long traffic jams on a Friday afternoon.

    Hope this helps.

  44. 44

    Neil G

    I’m ashamed to say that I watched an awful film called ‘Without A Paddle’ last week in which one of the characters used the term ‘loaded for bear’. I’d never heard it used before outside the context of this song.

  45. 45

    s.g.d A Shropshire Lad

    Never mind the paddle boy did they have a canoe?

  46. 46

    chris p

    From the Reservoir Dogs screenplay:

    Mr White – “You really think we were set up?”

    Mr Pink – “You even doubt it? … In one minute there were 17 blue boys out there. All loaded for bear, all knowing exactly what the f**k they were doing”

    I’ve seen that film many times, but never made the “loaded for bear” connection until now!!

  47. 47

    John Burscough

    Anybody think the tune in the chorus is a reverential nod to Rockpile’s ‘Trouble Boys’, as written by Billy Bremner (not that Billy Bremner) and covered by Thin Lizzy? Or ‘Trouble’ by Pink, which is The Same?

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