12 Sep 2008
Get back in your technical area
You don’t have to like football to find The Referee’s Alphabet amusing – although it’s the sort of song only a lower-league terrace-dweller would be inspired to write. Now even more than when the song was written, umpteen million football fans are screaming “Surely a bit of controversy is part of the game’s appeal?” at the TV every Saturday night when Hansen and company drone on about wanting video replays for refs. Sorry, rant over. Great song. And one of only two Half Man Half Biscuit songs (I think) to mention an Ipswich Town player. Makes me swell with pride, it does. Thanks to (deep breath) Jon F, Paul, gNick and Mr Larrington.
See lyrics to The Referee’s Alphabet
16 Letters Sent:
Martin
And possibly the only song to mention a West Brom player. At least you got Alan Brazil in another song
Sep 13th, 2008
Neil G
Just one thing, it should be ‘a’ not ‘the’ Portuguese centre half ‘whom I’ve’ just dismissed.
Zeal Monochorum. What’s that doing in Devon? As weird names go, that’s up there with the best of them.
Sep 13th, 2008
RobJ
But didn’t Garth Crooks turn out out for the Baggies as well?
Sep 15th, 2008
Martin
Oh God yeah Rob, of course he did.
I’d managed to repress that.
If possible, I think I liked him even less then……..
Sep 17th, 2008
Neil G
I hate to bring this up again, but it should be ‘whom I’ve just dismissed’ not ‘whom I just dismissed’. Past perfect, I think, and the ‘v’ sound is clearly audible. I’m sorry, I am pulling the anorak around my face to hide my reddening cheeks.
Sep 18th, 2008
John Anderson
After the line “The P is for the penalty shootout Great drama and no pressure on me” I’m sure I can detect something muttered quietly as an aside. I think it may be (hopefully).
Feb 7th, 2009
Bill Stow
In the words for the letter U – ‘shouting’ should be ‘chanting’ I think
regards
Bill
Feb 11th, 2009
Richard
Zeal Monochorum. What’s that doing in Devon? As weird names go, that’s up there with the best of them.
According to the villages website its likely to mean ‘cell (or site) of the monks, althought there are a few theories. btw I dont think they know just how famous they now are – place names being immortalised by HMHB is an honour only passed on to the lucky many!
Feb 12th, 2009
Richard
This is taken from their newsletter;
the village tends to be kept neat and tidy and hedges and banks are normally well trimmed.
Sounds like Chatteris to me, which is a bit errie. Dont think they have a drive by shouting problem though.
Feb 12th, 2009
Charles Exford
The at-first-impressive etymological footnote at http://zeal-monachorum.co.uk/history.html is frustrating because it doesn’t incorporate the key historical fact in the main article (by a different author) – that “The sale of the manor of Monckenzeale or Zealemonachorum is reported in documents of 1616.” This is surely the “Rosetta Stone” for translating this particular place name, as well as a graphic illustration of how history can produce hybrid placenames with roots in more than one language.
Nor does it incorporate the key geographical fact that 10 miles away (to the South) is the village of South Zeal, where nobody disputes that “Zeal” is Old English for “hall”. So then Z.M. clearly means “hall of the monks”, and yes, there are plenty of precedents for place names being only half translated from one language to another. Look at plenty of placenames in Wales or Ireland for a start, and then, well….Ashby-de-la-Zouche, Hutton-le-Hole, etc anybody ?
(Co)incidentally, South Zeal is home to the Dartmoor Folk Festival (Stewards needed according to the website – if you bring your own Hi-Vis you’ve got the gig, basically).
And not even more (co)incidentally, “of the monks” is also the translation for “Moenchen” in “Supercalifragilistic Borussia Moenchengladbach.” So there.
Cheers,
Exxo the Exxomologist.
Feb 12th, 2009
Ben
@Bill Stow, it’s definitely ‘chanting’, listened to it today with a keen ear.
Feb 12th, 2009
Ben
Charles, my favourite one of those is just north of Northallerton, ‘Thornton Le Beans’ – whenever I drive past it, I involuntarily say it out loud in a cod Geordie accent – sometimes with the “Man” suffix – as it reminds me of Michael from I’m Alan Partridge admonishing Alan after he looks confused at his doorstep offering:”
Ya nivva tried a cup of beans man!?”
Feb 12th, 2009
Richard
The ZM website is brilliant. They invite the local police to attend who mention that the have the power to ‘deal’ with vehicles likely to cause offence (an Allegro?). The committee then add that they don’t have much of a problem with car crime (that Chatteris link again) then mutter darkly that ‘it is interesting to know that this power exists’ . Its a great window into Middle England concerns.
I may move there and lower the tone a bit.
Feb 12th, 2009
Daryl
Like John Anderson, I’ve always had a sneaking suspicion that there’s a “hopefully” after the “P is for the penalty shootout” line, although there’s no way of proving it to be so…
Apr 7th, 2009
@steve_nicholls
is it possible – as I always heard it – that the Gnarled Face belongs to someone on £19,000 a week, rather than £90,000?
As the song was written (presumably) in 2001/2002, would £19,000 a week have been the more common and outrageous salary for a Premier League footballer in those days?
(ah, those were the days, when players like McIntyre, Treadmore and Davitt, would have to supplement their £19,000 a week wages by working a full shift down the pits)
Jan 13th, 2010
Dave F.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andoni_Zubizarreta
According to his wiki page it’s two r’s & one t.
May 30th, 2010
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