12 Sep 2008
Get back in your technical area
You don’t have to like football to find The Referee’s Alphabet amusing – although it’s the sort of song only a lower-league terrace-dweller would be inspired to write. Now even more than when the song was written, umpteen million football fans are screaming “Surely a bit of controversy is part of the game’s appeal?” at the TV every Saturday night when Hansen and company drone on about wanting video replays for refs. Sorry, rant over. Great song. And one of only two Half Man Half Biscuit songs (I think) to mention an Ipswich Town player. Makes me swell with pride, it does. Thanks to (deep breath) Jon F, Paul, gNick and Mr Larrington.
See lyrics to The Referee’s Alphabet
37 Letters Sent:
Martin
And possibly the only song to mention a West Brom player. At least you got Alan Brazil in another song
Sep 13th, 2008
Neil G
Just one thing, it should be ‘a’ not ‘the’ Portuguese centre half ‘whom I’ve’ just dismissed.
Zeal Monochorum. What’s that doing in Devon? As weird names go, that’s up there with the best of them.
Sep 13th, 2008
RobJ
But didn’t Garth Crooks turn out out for the Baggies as well?
Sep 15th, 2008
Martin
Oh God yeah Rob, of course he did.
I’d managed to repress that.
If possible, I think I liked him even less then……..
Sep 17th, 2008
Neil G
I hate to bring this up again, but it should be ‘whom I’ve just dismissed’ not ‘whom I just dismissed’. Past perfect, I think, and the ‘v’ sound is clearly audible. I’m sorry, I am pulling the anorak around my face to hide my reddening cheeks.
Sep 18th, 2008
John Anderson
After the line “The P is for the penalty shootout Great drama and no pressure on me” I’m sure I can detect something muttered quietly as an aside. I think it may be (hopefully).
Feb 7th, 2009
Bill Stow
In the words for the letter U – ‘shouting’ should be ‘chanting’ I think
regards
Bill
Feb 11th, 2009
Richard
Zeal Monochorum. What’s that doing in Devon? As weird names go, that’s up there with the best of them.
According to the villages website its likely to mean ‘cell (or site) of the monks, althought there are a few theories. btw I dont think they know just how famous they now are – place names being immortalised by HMHB is an honour only passed on to the lucky many!
Feb 12th, 2009
Richard
This is taken from their newsletter;
the village tends to be kept neat and tidy and hedges and banks are normally well trimmed.
Sounds like Chatteris to me, which is a bit errie. Dont think they have a drive by shouting problem though.
Feb 12th, 2009
Charles Exford
The at-first-impressive etymological footnote at http://zeal-monachorum.co.uk/history.html is frustrating because it doesn’t incorporate the key historical fact in the main article (by a different author) – that “The sale of the manor of Monckenzeale or Zealemonachorum is reported in documents of 1616.” This is surely the “Rosetta Stone” for translating this particular place name, as well as a graphic illustration of how history can produce hybrid placenames with roots in more than one language.
Nor does it incorporate the key geographical fact that 10 miles away (to the South) is the village of South Zeal, where nobody disputes that “Zeal” is Old English for “hall”. So then Z.M. clearly means “hall of the monks”, and yes, there are plenty of precedents for place names being only half translated from one language to another. Look at plenty of placenames in Wales or Ireland for a start, and then, well….Ashby-de-la-Zouche, Hutton-le-Hole, etc anybody ?
(Co)incidentally, South Zeal is home to the Dartmoor Folk Festival (Stewards needed according to the website – if you bring your own Hi-Vis you’ve got the gig, basically).
And not even more (co)incidentally, “of the monks” is also the translation for “Moenchen” in “Supercalifragilistic Borussia Moenchengladbach.” So there.
Cheers,
Exxo the Exxomologist.
Feb 12th, 2009
Ben
@Bill Stow, it’s definitely ‘chanting’, listened to it today with a keen ear.
Feb 12th, 2009
Ben
Charles, my favourite one of those is just north of Northallerton, ‘Thornton Le Beans’ – whenever I drive past it, I involuntarily say it out loud in a cod Geordie accent – sometimes with the “Man” suffix – as it reminds me of Michael from I’m Alan Partridge admonishing Alan after he looks confused at his doorstep offering:”
Ya nivva tried a cup of beans man!?”
Feb 12th, 2009
Richard
The ZM website is brilliant. They invite the local police to attend who mention that the have the power to ‘deal’ with vehicles likely to cause offence (an Allegro?). The committee then add that they don’t have much of a problem with car crime (that Chatteris link again) then mutter darkly that ‘it is interesting to know that this power exists’ . Its a great window into Middle England concerns.
I may move there and lower the tone a bit.
Feb 12th, 2009
Daryl
Like John Anderson, I’ve always had a sneaking suspicion that there’s a “hopefully” after the “P is for the penalty shootout” line, although there’s no way of proving it to be so…
Apr 7th, 2009
@steve_nicholls
is it possible – as I always heard it – that the Gnarled Face belongs to someone on £19,000 a week, rather than £90,000?
As the song was written (presumably) in 2001/2002, would £19,000 a week have been the more common and outrageous salary for a Premier League footballer in those days?
(ah, those were the days, when players like McIntyre, Treadmore and Davitt, would have to supplement their £19,000 a week wages by working a full shift down the pits)
Jan 13th, 2010
Dave F.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andoni_Zubizarreta
According to his wiki page it’s two r’s & one t.
May 30th, 2010
Mr Larrington
And according to Wikiwossname it should be Roddy McDowall, with an “a”.
Oct 6th, 2010
Mr Larrington
Additional: it seems that Walter Pidgeon’s character was actually called “Mr. Gruffydd” but I am not sufficiently versed in Welshish to know how this is pronounced.
Oct 6th, 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Good spots, both of ‘em. Amazing how a page can have been read by so many hundreds (indeed, looks like thousands) of people and nobody’s pointed it out. Anyway, Roddy duly corrected, and although I’m from East Anglia, not the valleys, I can check these things on teh interwebs as well as anyone.
Oct 6th, 2010
TWO FAT FEET
Just curious really, maybe it’s just the fact that Nigel clearly makes a mistake but they still went with this take, but was this track actually recorded live (as in ‘on stage’)? I’d guess it would be at a soundcheck given that there is no apparent crowd noise, but then thinking about it, the idea of them even having a soundcheck, let alone using it to try out new material, sounds just too professional. [dons tin hat in anticipation of Mr Exford's reply]
Mar 24th, 2011
Peter Gandy
The sleevenotes say that the track was recorded live in Stapleton Wood, Caldy on 24th June 2002. The rest of the album was recorded at Frog Studios in Warrington.
Mar 25th, 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
Personally I think ‘the mistake’ improves the track, as does the ‘How Green was my Valley’ change of direction. I’ve always known it was recorded live but I’ve often wondered if Nigel was doing it from memory or reading it from a lyric sheet (a la John Cooper Clarke)
Mar 25th, 2011
TWO FAT FEET
sorry I must have missed that bit re the recording, although I still wonder whether it was at a soundcheck rather than the gig itself. CD’s in the loft now, haven’t seen it for years as it’s all copied to my computer. Sounds like he was doing it from memory, or at least not referring to the lyric sheet too often, but big up to him for keeping the rhythm when he cocked it up.
Mar 25th, 2011
Daryl
I think there should be an ellipsis (…) between “shown a” and “card”, to illustrate Nigel’s screw up on the first attempt at the letter S.
Jul 7th, 2011
Third Rate Les
I think that falls into what Chris The Siteowner describes as his “spelling an interviewee’s laugh” category.
Jul 8th, 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
I’ve been affected by a strange disquiet, which has gnawed away at me for some time, regarding the recording of this song and I’ve just realised what it is. According to our very own Giant Set List Chart (and I’m claiming this as the ultimate authority) it has never been played live. A quick bit of sleuthing reveals that only 2 gigs were played in 2002 anyway, neither in Stapledon Wood, Caldy on 24th June. Anyway there isn’t a venue there, is there? Isn’t it a National Trust, nature reservey type place. (Excuse my savage ignorance but it’s a long way from New York to the Wirral Peninsula.)
Then the penny starts to descend. It doesn’t say ‘recorded live at Stapledon Wood, Caldy’ but ‘recorded live in Stapledon Wood, Caldy’. After all it’s not ‘Cheap Trick Live in the Budokan’ is it, but ‘at’? ‘At’ implies a venue, ‘in’ implies, – I don’t really know what ‘in’ implies but it has got me asking the question, ‘so was this track recorded live in some magical meadow, glade or forest clearing, with hastily recruited Jays and Warblers providing the bird noises?’ It certainly wasn’t recorded at a gig; soundcheck or otherwise. I’m intrigued. Is anyone able to shed any further shafts of light on this mystery?
Oh and by the way, it sounds to me more like ‘Some good bird noises there, boy’, rather than ‘Paul’.
Aug 27th, 2011
TWO FAT FEET
I thought it actually was “by the way” with regard to the bird noises. Could be explained by the nature reserve connection I suppose.
Aug 30th, 2011
Charles Exford
I’ve always assumed the “recorded live in Stapledon Wood” thing is a birding joke.The track doesn’t sound like it’s recorded live in the woods, despite that one-take feel with the cock-up and all.
But articles such as this one often contain the sentence “recorded in Stapledon Wood”.
But it’s definitely a query worth adding to the list.
Aug 31st, 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
It occurred to me a couple of days after I’d posted 26 that ‘recorded live in Stapledon Wood’ was possibly a somewhat less than accurate sleevenote and that I’d been ‘Blackwelled’.
Aug 31st, 2011
nigel, no not that one (nx3to)
I hear “by the way” too.
Aug 31st, 2011
John Burscough
If you’re up for a bit of meta-pedantry, Vendor, it’s “Cheap Trick Live at Budokan” (like Bob Dylan). In the days when we had to make our own entertainment, I used to amuse myself by pronouncing “The Who Live At Leeds” with a short ‘ i ‘.
Sep 1st, 2011
Mr Larrington
If you’re up for even more pedantry, the album is called “Cheap Trick At Budokan”.
It worries me that I possess this information.
Sep 1st, 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
Pedantry is, as pedantry does John. The album is actually called ‘Cheap Trick at Budokan’ apparently; no Live (long or short ‘i’) and no definite article. Never heard it, but I bet that I wouldn’t enjoy it. Anyway it wouldn’t fit with ‘I’m a dirty great big Five Nations fan’ without the additional words.
Sep 1st, 2011
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
You beat me to it Mr. L. I’ll console myself with the knowledge that I didn’t possess the information without the aid of Mr Google and Mr Wikipedia.
Sep 1st, 2011
John Burscough
Quite so, quite so. I haven’t heard the album either, but it does contain one of the best live recordings of all the time, “I want you to want me”, which topped the charts in 1979 (in Holland).
Sep 1st, 2011
Charles Exford
Spectacular pedantry from John. Chapeau.
However as NB57 is quoting some CAMRA bloke in the pub the discrepancy is a lovely character touch that we can credit as deliberate. Of 18 artistes on wikipedia with live at Budokan albums, 4 are “live at THE Budokan”
Live at the Budokan (Bryan Adams album), 2003 album
Live at the Budokan (Blur album), 1996 album
Live at the Budokan (Chic album), 1999 album
Live at the Budokan (Ian Gillan Band album), 1977-1978 album
The last-mentioned would have been played a great deal, along with the Cheap Trick album, on the Great Easton Express, Phil Easton’s rock show that often used to blurt out from an older brother’s radio set, in our house and probably many others on Merseyside. Hence the confusion possibly.
I also note that one artiste has an album called “One Night at Budokan” off which any individual tracks I might wish to download are listed as “Live at THE Budokan”. those Japanese never can get their articls seorted, tsk.
Anyway that song you mention was massive on Merseyside in 1979 too.
Sep 1st, 2011
John Anderson
Live at the Budokan (Ian Gillan Band album), 1977-1978 album
That’s sure to be good.
Sep 2nd, 2011
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