I wish I could look away, Charles, but it’s like a pile-up on the M6 – you don’t want to stare but you can’t look away. As ever, a fascinating theory. I’ll try not to let it detract too far from my future enjoyment of the song.

But then the innate pedantry kicks in, like a wild instinct in a caged animal, turning on its helpless keeper at the first real opportunity.

Où should have an accent.

Seems like there’s an ‘n’ before persian cats. Scans better, but anyway I’d write it as a continuation of the previous line if it was up to me.

More dubiously, I think it could equally be “pissed on the mystic”. There is no way of proving this though since that would be pronounced exactly the same when the next word begins with “s”

And does anyone else think there just might be a cheeky little mini-syllable* after the final “you” ?

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As Neil G knows only too well, I can’t just leave it at pedantry. I have to have me pompous little theories too. Look away now, Neil.

So whilst I’ve never expected this to be about the Great Orme, I do think its genesis does lie in the ascent, just as the tune’s genesis lies in “I Scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream,” originally a Tin Pan Alley hit in the 1920′s, and exactly the sort of thing that have been played ad infintum in tacky seaside resorts pre- and post-war.

So here comes the theory, then. Someone like Blackwell Senior, singing that little ditty to encourage the kids up the Orme, promising them an ice cream at the top. Exactly the kind of thing my dad used to do on such outings Years later, NB, lover of 20′s and 30′s stuff, determines to use the tune for his biting satire but keeps a little reference to the family history in the title.

Here’s the ice-cream kiosk that’s been at the top of the Orme for about a century.

Nice website, that, Noel.

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* By the way, a cheeky little mini-syllable isn’t lke a mini-cheddar. It’s more like “generalise you, la.”

Oh, and do any other listeners expect a line about hand towels and Islamic landlords? All of their songs sound the same you know