The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

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179 pop songs picked over by pedants

30 Apr 2011

The Lux Familiar Cup: Qualifying Group Results

So, after three months of hard-fought voting, 24 teams (the top two from each group) qualify for the last 32, along with eight strongest 3rd- or 4th-placed songs. These eight were chosen based on the percentage of voters in each group who voted for that song, and indeed, we’ve shown all the songs in the table below, ordered on that basis. The direct qualifiers are shown in orange, and the other qualifiers in yellow. Luckiest song was therefore Secret Gig, which didn’t get near the top 32, but qualified as a distant runner-up in the Four Lads Who Shook The Wirral group, and edged out the unlucky Problem Chimp. Only Achtung Bono managed to get four songs into the last 32, with six other albums getting three songs through, and five albums only managing the two qualifiers.

Now we move on to a straightforward knockout phase, and the draw will be posted on YouTube later. But first, feel free to express your delight, horror or surprise at how things turned out.

Key:
TVA = Total votes cast for that song’s album
NV = Number of people taking part in the vote for that song’s album
PTVA = Percentage of votes cast for that album which went to that song
PNV = Percentage of voters for that album voting for that song

SongAlbumVotesTVANVPTVAPNV
Everything’s AORMcIntyre, Treadmore And Davitt11544018026.14%63.9%
For What Is Chatteris…Achtung Bono15697624615.98%63.4%
The Bastard Son Of Dean FriedmanBack Again In The DHSS10240016325.50%62.6%
Twenty Four Hour Garage PeopleTrouble Over Bridgwater14888523716.72%62.4%
The Light at the End of the TunnelCammell Laird Social Club13788223215.53%59.1%
A Country PracticeFour Lads Who Shook The Wirral9747917020.25%57.1%
Bob Wilson – AnchormanEPs, Peel Sessions, etc12288521713.79%56.2%
Running Order Squabble FestThis Leaden Pall9254217516.97%52.6%
Paintball’s Coming HomeVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road10364419915.99%51.8%
National Shite DayCSI: Ambleside11774122915.79%51.1%
Tending The Wrong Grave For 23 YearsEPs, Peel Sessions, etc10588521711.86%48.4%
We Built This Village On A Trad. Arr. TuneAchtung Bono11797624611.99%47.6%
Turned Up Clocked On Laid OffThis Leaden Pall8354217515.31%47.4%
Them’s The VagariesCammell Laird Social Club10788223212.13%46.1%
All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away KitBack In The DHSS7450216214.74%45.7%
Friday Night And The Gates Are LowSome Call It Godcore8146317917.49%45.3%
Vatican BroadsideEPs, Peel Sessions, etc9888521711.07%45.2%
Joy Division Oven GlovesAchtung Bono11097624611.27%44.7%
The Trumpton RiotsBack In The DHSS7150216214.14%43.8%
Evening Of Swing (Has Been Cancelled)CSI: Ambleside9874122913.23%42.8%
When The Evening Sun Goes DownCammell Laird Social Club9788223211.00%41.8%
4AD3DCDThis Leaden Pall7154217513.10%40.6%
Even Men With Steel HeartsSome Call It Godcore7146317915.33%39.7%
Bad Losers On Yahoo ChessCSI: Ambleside9074122912.15%39.3%
Monmore, Hare’s RunningVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road7764419911.96%38.7%
Dickie Davies EyesBack Again In The DHSS6340016315.75%38.7%
Tour Jacket With Detachable SleevesSome Call It Godcore6846317914.69%38.0%
Outbreak Of Vitas GerulaitisMcIntyre, Treadmore And Davitt6844018015.45%37.8%
Surging out of ConvalescenceAchtung Bono899762469.12%36.2%
I Was A Teenage Armchair Honved FanBack Again In The DHSS5740016314.25%35.0%
Irk The PuristsTrouble Over Bridgwater818852379.15%34.2%
Took Problem Chimp To Ideal Home ShowCSI: Ambleside7874122910.53%34.1%
Restless LegsAchtung Bono839762468.50%33.7%
Eno CollaborationVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road6764419910.40%33.7%
Bottleneck At Capel CurigTrouble Over Bridgwater798852378.93%33.3%
Uffington WassailTrouble Over Bridgwater798852378.93%33.3%
Dead Men Don’t Need Season TicketsVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road6664419910.25%33.2%
Look Dad No TunesTrouble Over Bridgwater788852378.81%32.9%
Thy Damnation Slumbereth NotCammell Laird Social Club768822328.62%32.8%
Secret GigFour Lads Who Shook The Wirral5547917011.48%32.4%
Lord Hereford’s KnobCSI: Ambleside747412299.99%32.3%
Depressed Beyond TabletsAchtung Bono779762467.89%31.3%
Four Skinny Indie KidsFour Lads Who Shook The Wirral5347917011.06%31.2%
Asparagus Next LeftAchtung Bono759762467.68%30.5%
She’s In BroadstairsCammell Laird Social Club708822327.94%30.2%
The Referee’s AlphabetCammell Laird Social Club708822327.94%30.2%
Improv Workshop Mimeshow GobshiteThis Leaden Pall515421759.41%29.1%
Ordinary to EnschedeEPs, Peel Sessions, etc638852177.12%29.0%
Fuckin’ ‘Ell It’s Fred TitmusBack In The DHSS475021629.36%29.0%
You’re HardFour Lads Who Shook The Wirral4947917010.23%28.8%
Gubba Look-a-LikesTrouble Over Bridgwater688852377.68%28.7%
Bad ReviewVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road576441998.85%28.6%
P.R.S. Yearbook – Quick, The DrawbridgeVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road576441998.85%28.6%
27 Yards Of Dental FlossCammell Laird Social Club658822327.37%28.0%
A Lilac Harry QuinnMcIntyre, Treadmore And Davitt5044018011.36%27.8%
San Antonio Foam PartyCammell Laird Social Club648822327.26%27.6%
Blood On The QuadEPs, Peel Sessions, etc598852176.67%27.2%
Turn A Blind EyeFour Lads Who Shook The Wirral464791709.60%27.1%
Floreat InertiaThis Leaden Pall475421758.67%26.9%
Hedley VerityesqueMcIntyre, Treadmore And Davitt4844018010.91%26.7%
Rod Hull Is Alive – Why?Back Again In The DHSS4240016310.50%25.8%
Totnes Bickering FairCSI: Ambleside587412297.83%25.3%
Yipps (My Baby Got The)McIntyre, Treadmore And Davitt4544018010.23%25.0%
Used To Be In Evil GazeboTrouble Over Bridgwater598852376.67%24.9%
Shit Arm, Bad TattooAchtung Bono619762466.25%24.8%
If I Had Possession Over Pancake DayCammell Laird Social Club578822326.46%24.6%
Keeping Two Chevrons ApartFour Lads Who Shook The Wirral414791708.56%24.1%
With Goth On Our SideTrouble Over Bridgwater578852376.44%24.1%
The Best Things In LifeBack Again In The DHSS394001639.75%23.9%
Tonight Matthew I’m Going To Be With JesusVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road476441997.30%23.6%
It Makes The Room Look BiggerEPs, Peel Sessions, etc518852175.76%23.5%
Sponsoring The MoshpitsSome Call It Godcore424631799.07%23.5%
Soft VergesFour Lads Who Shook The Wirral394791708.14%22.9%
Breaking NewsCammell Laird Social Club538822326.01%22.8%
Arthur’s FarmBack Again In The DHSS374001639.25%22.7%
Paradise Lost (You’re The Reason Why)Cammell Laird Social Club528822325.90%22.4%
Albert Hammond BootlegBack In The DHSS365021627.17%22.2%
SealclubbingBack In The DHSS365021627.17%22.2%
Fear My WraithSome Call It Godcore394631798.42%21.8%
Sensitive OutsiderSome Call It Godcore394631798.42%21.8%
Petty SessionsCSI: Ambleside487412296.48%21.0%
Reasons To Be Miserable (Part 10)Back Again In The DHSS344001638.50%20.9%
I Went To A Wedding…EPs, Peel Sessions, etc458852175.08%20.7%
99% Of Gargoyles Look Like Bob ToddBack In The DHSS335021626.57%20.4%
Time Flies By (When You’re A Driver Of A Train)Back In The DHSS335021626.57%20.4%
Upon Westminster BridgeAchtung Bono499762465.02%19.9%
FootprintsThis Leaden Pall345421756.27%19.4%
Little In The Way Of SunshineCSI: Ambleside447412295.94%19.2%
1966 And All ThatBack In The DHSS315021626.18%19.1%
It’s Cliched To Be Cynical At ChristmasTrouble Over Bridgwater448852374.97%18.6%
FaithliftSome Call It Godcore334631797.13%18.4%
Letters SentAchtung Bono459762464.61%18.3%
Ballad Of Climie FisherTrouble Over Bridgwater438852374.86%18.1%
C.A.M.R.A. ManVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road366441995.59%18.1%
EpiphanyEPs, Peel Sessions, etc398852174.41%18.0%
New York SkiffleEPs, Peel Sessions, etc398852174.41%18.0%
Prag Vec At The MelkwegMcIntyre, Treadmore And Davitt324401807.27%17.8%
Whit Week MalarkeyThis Leaden Pall315421755.72%17.7%
Emerging From GorseTrouble Over Bridgwater418852374.63%17.3%
A Shropshire LadVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road346441995.28%17.1%
Corgi Registered FriendsAchtung Bono429762464.30%17.1%
Lark DescendingEPs, Peel Sessions, etc378852174.18%17.1%
Ode To JoyceCSI: Ambleside387412295.13%16.6%
Mars Ultras, You’ll Never Make The StationEPs, Peel Sessions, etc358852173.95%16.1%
On Finding The Studio BanjoEPs, Peel Sessions, etc358852173.95%16.1%
Mathematically SafeTrouble Over Bridgwater388852374.29%16.0%
Fretwork HomeworkSome Call It Godcore274631795.83%15.1%
Split Single With Happy Lounge LabelmatesFour Lads Who Shook The Wirral254791705.22%14.7%
He Who Would Valium TakeVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road296441994.50%14.6%
Third Track Main Camera Four MinutesTrouble Over Bridgwater348852373.84%14.3%
Quality JanitorThis Leaden Pall255421754.61%14.3%
Ready Steady GoaFour Lads Who Shook The Wirral244791705.01%14.1%
Deep House Victims’ Minibus AppealVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road276441994.19%13.6%
Give Us BubblewrapCSI: Ambleside317412294.18%13.5%
Styx Gig (Seen By My Mates Coming Out Of A)Some Call It Godcore244631795.18%13.4%
This Leaden PallThis Leaden Pall235421754.24%13.1%
Mate Of The BlokeAchtung Bono329762463.28%13.0%
Reflections In A FlatBack In The DHSS215021624.18%13.0%
Jarg ArmaniEPs, Peel Sessions, etc288852173.16%12.9%
Girlfriend’s Finished With HimMcIntyre, Treadmore And Davitt234401805.23%12.8%
Let’s NotMcIntyre, Treadmore And Davitt234401805.23%12.8%
Nove On The SlyTrouble Over Bridgwater308852373.39%12.7%
Lock Up Your Mountain BikesEPs, Peel Sessions, etc278852173.05%12.4%
The Len Ganley StanceBack In The DHSS205021623.98%12.3%
M-6-sterThis Leaden Pall215421753.87%12.0%
Our TuneMcIntyre, Treadmore And Davitt214401804.77%11.7%
On Passing Lilac UrineEPs, Peel Sessions, etc258852172.82%11.5%
Tyrolean KnockaboutCammell Laird Social Club268822322.95%11.2%
God Gave Us LifeBack In The DHSS185021623.59%11.1%
I Left My Heart In Papworth GeneralBack In The DHSS185021623.59%11.1%
Blue Badge AbuserCSI: Ambleside257412293.37%10.9%
Moody ChopsFour Lads Who Shook The Wirral184791703.76%10.6%
I Hate Nerys Hughes (From The Heart)Back In The DHSS175021623.39%10.5%
Whiteness Thy Name Is MeltonianThis Leaden Pall185421753.32%10.3%
Twydale’s LamentAchtung Bono259762462.56%10.2%
Get KramerEPs, Peel Sessions, etc218852172.37%9.7%
Venus In FlaresBack In The DHSS155021622.99%9.3%
King Of Hi-VisCSI: Ambleside217412292.83%9.2%
Numanoid Hang-glideThis Leaden Pall165421752.95%9.1%
I Love You Because (You Look Like Jim Reeves)Back In The DHSS145021622.79%8.6%
D’Ye Ken Ted Moult?Back Again In The DHSS144001633.50%8.6%
See That My Bike’s Kept CleanVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road176441992.64%8.5%
Christian Rock ConcertMcIntyre, Treadmore And Davitt154401803.41%8.3%
On the ‘RoidsCSI: Ambleside197412292.56%8.3%
Architecture, Morality, Ted And AliceBack In The DHSS135021622.59%8.0%
David Wainwright’s FeetEPs, Peel Sessions, etc178852171.92%7.8%
£24.99 From ArgosSome Call It Godcore144631793.02%7.8%
Children of Apocalyptic TechstepFour Lads Who Shook The Wirral134791702.71%7.6%
Song Of Encouragement for the Orme AscentVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road156441992.33%7.5%
Ecclesiastical PerksEPs, Peel Sessions, etc168852171.81%7.4%
Carry On CrematingBack Again In The DHSS124001633.00%7.4%
Song For EuropeSome Call It Godcore134631792.81%7.3%
I, TrogSome Call It Godcore124631792.59%6.7%
On Reaching The WensumFour Lads Who Shook The Wirral114791702.30%6.5%
13 Eurogoths Floating In The Dead SeaThis Leaden Pall115421752.03%6.3%
Bogus OfficialAchtung Bono159762461.54%6.1%
ITMAVoyage To The Bottom Of The Road126441991.86%6.0%
DoreenThis Leaden Pall105421751.85%5.7%
Hair Like Brian May BluesEPs, Peel Sessions, etc128852171.36%5.5%
Malayan JelutongThis Leaden Pall95421751.66%5.1%
Mr Cave’s a Window Cleaner NowEPs, Peel Sessions, etc118852171.24%5.1%
MultitudeFour Lads Who Shook The Wirral84791701.67%4.7%
Stavanger TöestubCammell Laird Social Club88822320.91%3.4%
Busy Little Market TownBack In The DHSS55021621.00%3.1%
Visitor For Mr. EdmondsTrouble Over Bridgwater48852370.45%1.7%
Slight RepriseTrouble Over Bridgwater28852370.23%0.8%


Next: See the draw for The Round of 32

17 Letters Sent:Jump to latest »
  1. 1

    Chris The Siteowner

    Delight, horror and surprise. Three of my favourite songs squeezed through as strongest 3rd- or 4th-placed efforts, so I shouldn’t be too unhappy. Although half a dozen of my favourites didn’t even make the top half of the table.

    I’d bet that like the 200,000 people who were in the Free Trade Hall, about 200 people would now claim to have voted for “Slight Reprise”. That song will indeed make a slight reprise, over the credits of the draw for the last 32, which will be on YouTube tomorrow. Don’t miss it.

    Apr 30th, 2011

  2. 2

    Martin

    Oh no… pedant time…

    The key/legend explains 4 categories: TVA, NV, PVA, PV
    The 4 column headings are: TVA, TV, PVA, PV

    I’m sorry. On this most joyous of all weekends, I’m sorry.

    Apr 30th, 2011

  3. 3

    Chris The Siteowner

    Splendid. I hope, with all those numbers, that’s the least of my worries.

    Apr 30th, 2011

  4. 4

    TWO FAT FEET

    Am disconsolate that both Restless Legs and Damnation not only missed the cut, but will now be feeling like the team that finished third in the table and saw the sixth-placed team win the play-offs. But hey, them’s the rules.

    If I were to predict a winner from the start, it would have come from a shortlist of nine – seven of which made the top fifteen on this list, one which made it through the back door and one which fell on its face in the aforementioned twilight zone. But I wouldn’t have included Everything’s AOR, pick of the album that it is.

    Going out on a limb here but my prediction for the final four will be Chatteris, Garage People, Country Practice and, the dark horse, National Shite Day.

    Apr 30th, 2011

  5. 5

    Chris The Siteowner

    A fair prediction, but of course the beauty of an unseeded, anything-goes draw is that those four will probably be drawn against each other this lunchtime, and two or three of them will find themselves left to concentrate on the league by the time we’re down to the last eight. I’m also looking forward to some intriguing “local derbies” …songs from the same album, similar songs, or both, pitted against each other.

    Apr 30th, 2011

  6. 6

    Chrles Exford

    May I just say this is beautifully-timed maths, as we enter the month of trepidation with the trapdoor already having been firmly shut below The Rovers for a week.

    However I imagine Harry Quinn and those foreskinny kids are looking particularly gnarled-faced this weekend, denied by two songs which received a substanitially smaller vote (by the system the voters assumed they were using). Still, as one tabloid reviewer told the fey foursome this morning: “If you don’t like it, try moving to Syria and releasing your jangly indie pop over there.”

    Persistent rumours that the system was changed purely to allow ‘Irk the Purists’ to squeeze through just will not go away, but UELP officials are confident that it will only take the tedium of a long drawn-out three-hour televised draw and the longed-for bloodbath of the round of 16 to take the minds of the masses off their shenanigans.

    Meanwhile, most of the surviving tracks will now just be happy to come out of the hat first, but spokesman for ‘Surging Out of Convalescence’ said “bring on the big boys. A ‘Hardy derby’ with ‘Tending the Wrong Grave’ would suit us just fine.”

    Apr 30th, 2011

  7. 7

    Bobby String

    I see ‘Slight Reprise’ got two votes – nice to see the hard of hearing get their say!

    Ô¿Ô

    Apr 30th, 2011

  8. 8

    Chris The Siteowner

    “Irk The Purists” would have qualified by either method of ranking the fastest losers, as it came second in its group. The method we used favoured “Surging out of Convalescence” and “When The Evening Sun Goes Down” at the expense of “A Lilac Harry Quinn” and “Four Skinny Indie Kids”. As “Surging” and “Evening Sun” got nearly twice the number of votes as the other two, I think the system’s done a fair job, to be honest.

    The televised draw for the Round of 32 is under strict instructions to be over in less than 4 minutes and 55 seconds. And Herr Blatter does not make an apearance. You will be pleased to know.

    Apr 30th, 2011

  9. 9

    Fredorrarci

    Bless you, you beautiful people, for voting in ‘Tending the Wrong Grave’. As a mark of gratitude and solidarity, I have taken the number for the Court of Arbitration for Sport off speed dial.

    May 1st, 2011

  10. 10

    TWO FAT FEET

    There are those who weep at the fate of Soft Verges, but the numbers do not lie. Far from being in ‘such a strong group’, it didn’t even register among the ones that almost made it. But consider that it is the epitome of popularity compared with, say, Ted Moult, Quality Janitor and Shropshire Lad, all of whom deserved much better even if they were never going to be invited to the party.

    I hope you all feel shame.

    May 1st, 2011

  11. 11

    TWO FAT FEET

    I forgot to add that it was from the group where even the second automatic qualifier was lucky to catch the bus.

    May 1st, 2011

  12. 12

    Sean Macreavy

    I have to say I’m brow-beaten and heartbroken about the rough treatment accorded to Hair Like Brian Blues! Am I on my own at having that little gem in my top ten? Ach well… I’ll just pop down to the local brook and submerge me ringlets…

    May 5th, 2011

  13. 13

    chris p

    Uffington Wassail not in the 32 ?!? A pox on all ye houses!

    May 5th, 2011

  14. 14

    Paul F

    I’d take Uffington Wassail over all 32 of them. Staggered.

    May 5th, 2011

  15. 15

    Poolio

    funny old game innit, there are at least 5 i thuoght were shoo-ins… IMO some less than desirables have waltzed through… proportional album representation to blame, I think we should introduce some over complicated voting system for next year… !? suggestions…

    May 8th, 2011

  16. 16

    Seany O

    I can’t believe I’ve only just picked up on this fantastic tournament! Must say that the the failures of He Who Would Valium Take and Lord Hereford’s Knob have rendered my frown vastly superior to that of Tony Iommi.

    Ah well, best make sure I vote for the next round.

    May 12th, 2011

  17. 17

    Sean Macreavy

    I’m with you on that Sean, although I’m not a big fan of those two tunes! But then, I cried like girls when I saw Brian May and I,Trog languishing in the Conference… And Bob Wilson so high up. Each to their own, eh? That’s one of the things I love about this band.

    May 12th, 2011

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