3 May 2011
The Lux Familiar Cup: Last 32 Knockout Round – Match 3
Them’s The Vagaries
vs.
Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off
Another tie which really could go either way, as the 14th song in the group stage voting takes on the 13th. Have a listen to both!
Result
Them’s The Vagaries 163
vs.
Turned Up Clocked On Laid Off 138
29 Letters Sent:Jump to latest »
Poolio
No brainer for me… where else would you keep your birdies?
May 3rd, 2011
aiwacat
For me, the gloomy evocation of redundancy in the lyrics of TUCOLO elevates it above the bouncy singalong of Vagaries.
May 3rd, 2011
chedgzoy
Having just been made redundant, for me Turned Up… is by far HMHB’s most poignant song. An all time top 5er for me.
May 3rd, 2011
TWO FAT FEET
I’ve never been made redundant so fortunately I can’t relate to TUCOLO in that respect, although having gone through the experience of having to justify one’s individual quirks and foibles to a potential life partner, I can at least relate to Them’s The Vagaries enough to make that my choice. Much better track as well, which helps.
May 3rd, 2011
Jeff Dreadnought
So what’s it to be? The cheerful, route-one style of Them’s The Vagaries, whose game plan is clear: hoof the ball up to “squid yes, not so octopus”, confident that this killer line will almost invariably find the back of the net, or at least flick it on for an onrushing “marijuana bores must be destroyed” to finish the beautifully simple move?
Or the more thoughtful game played by TUCOLO, patiently building from the back with “deathless useless bracken underfoot”, looking for an opening to work the ball through the midfield of the Father, Son and Mickie Most to the fearsome, lethal strike partnership of “There’s people who can’t spell ‘weird’ right/Driving round with thousands in the bank” and “But I get by, got a lot on my mind/I get by, got allotments on my mind” – reminiscent of McAvennie and Cottee in their heyday?
As one who cheered when Wimbledon turned Liverpool over in the 1988 Cup Final, I know where my loyalties lie…
May 3rd, 2011
TWO FAT FEET
Damn you Dreadnought, you make me feel like I am betraying my childhood. McAvennie and Cottee were as gods to a thirteen-year-old such as I in the 1985-86 season and yet I went with the Route One merchant. But I did want Wimbledon to win as well.
May 3rd, 2011
dagenham dave
the first two rounds have been no-brainers but this one is proving difficult, having given both another listen it’s got to be ‘Turned Up….’ for the ‘allotment’ line if nothing else.
May 3rd, 2011
Neil G
Them’s The Vagaries is excellent and would no doubt see off many other challengers without breaking sweat but Turned Up… is the better song.
May 3rd, 2011
Chris The Siteowner
Excellently put, Jeff. It’s hard to vote against any song spearheaded by “squid yes, not so octopus”…
May 3rd, 2011
MATLOCK BATH
Vagaries is one of the top 4 or 5 HMHB songs for me. Loved its rendition in Leicester last week. When I asked directions to the venue, by the way, a local told me, “Take a right, then left past the market and it’s the shit hole on the left.” He wasn’t even a HMHB fan – that was class in my book.
May 3rd, 2011
Steve Malkmoose
No brainer for me. TUCOLO is one of my all-time faves. A Wembley semi final appearance at least! The clincher is the thread of brilliantly witty American Pie references, in partcular the rendezvousing with Peter Glaze to kill the other Don McLean! Genius Genius Genius!
May 3rd, 2011
Jon
Toughest one yet for me. Had to listen to both again and eventually went for TUCOLO. The allotments line was the clincher – both humorous and poignant
May 3rd, 2011
Max Williams
Oh Brit Pop, turquoise, chips with apricot
Sheepskin nose-band, kids in Aldershot
May 3rd, 2011
TWO FAT FEET
The exit poll has had this one neck and neck all the way so far. Could go all the way to penalties.
May 4th, 2011
PLUMBER
Once upon a time and a half……this line has clinched it although this is too tough!!
May 4th, 2011
colin
When you walk through a storm……….you get wet !!!!! its a winner for me
May 4th, 2011
Littlegrafter
Very difficult to call. The problem with this one is that these are from 2 quite different eras, and are both within the top 2 or 3 of each album. So trying to compare them is like comparing good apples with good bananas, they’re both good but just …different.
Anyway after repeated back to back listening, I swung towards the Vagaries (which suprised me) probably helped by the performance in Leicester last week.
May 4th, 2011
bomaya
I do have a very sot moist spot for Turned Up but Vagaries wins on account on the oft-quoted squid/octopus couplet and the rousing “Avaries” chorus at the end.
May 4th, 2011
Daryl
The sheer brilliance of the’ people who can’t spell ‘weird’/allotments’ lines leaves me completely speechless. It’s just awesome.
May 4th, 2011
Kingsbeef
I nearly had to toss on this one but its Clocked Off for me by a gnats chuff.
May 5th, 2011
2 chevrons
Won’t sit backwards on the train and might not always flush the chain. Poetry.
May 5th, 2011
TWO FAT FEET
I’ve always wondered how you flush a chain. It’s about as easy as pulling a toilet, but maybe I’m being pedantic.
May 6th, 2011
Bobby String
TFF, until I read that lyric I hadn’t heard the expression ‘flush the chain’ since I was a kid. I was born in Northumberland and it was a very common expression there, but after we moved to Scotland when I was six, I never heard it again, except occasionally from my mother. My father is from Lincolnshire and he never uses that expression, so I guess it’s a highly regionalised thing.
Ô¿Ô
May 6th, 2011
Simon Smith
One pauses before posting anything other than reason for voting Vagaries (it’s the heart stopping ‘hello, spinal curvature’ chord, my only HMHB air guitar must) but I always took the flush the chain line to be admittance to the girl of the ‘vagary’ that NB might occasionally take a wazz and not flush.
Sometimes seems a waste of water if it’s not especially pungent or Asparagus (not Right) fuelled
May 6th, 2011
Paul F
I do remember not being required to “flush the chain” (my Mum’s terminology definitely) unless solids were involved when younger, but I wonder whether this was only in the summer of ’76. And it very much was a chain in those days. (I remember Frank Bruno saying in an interview how he and a friend dismantled both their chains in order to make some nunchuks.
May 6th, 2011
Ferenc Puskás to you
Following on from Jeff:
A first verse of relentless pressure from TTV, “spinal curvature” sends in a brilliant through ball for “mirthless furniture” to slam home for a deserved lead: TTV 1-0 TUCOLO.
But then a fast breakaway almost immediately and Medicine Head squares it up: TTV 1-1 TUCOLO.
Just before half-time after more extended dominance, 5 Day Tests nods home from the far post: TTV 2-1 TUCOLO.
A stirring teamtalk seems to have down the trick as first “weird” hits the post, then “allotments” sacrifices life, limbs and root vegetables for a low driven equalizer: TTV 2-2 TUCOLO.
And now what’s this? An astonishing passage of play from Three Men, Peter Glaze and then it’s not the Don McLean you thought it was! A lead, for the first time!: TTV 2-3 TUCOLO.
Tension mounts as the relentless pace continues, and then “squid yes, not so octopus”, from all of 30 yards, bends a beauty up and around the wall. Will this go to extra time? TTV 3-3 TUCOLO.
And then heartbreak for the plucky Leaden Pall veteran, as tired legs can’t find the energy to repel an attack polished off with “them’s the aviaries”, as the home fans sing in unison: TTV 4-3 TUCOLO and it’s all over!
Phew. Like Spurs 3-1 Inter Milan or Haverhill Rovers 4-0 Chatteris (1978 Eastern Counties League winning match for Rovers, take that Chatteris) – a great game for the neutral.
May 7th, 2011
Wealthy car-owner
Wierd report from Jeff there.
May 7th, 2011
Emerging From Gorse
The references on this site can be utterly bewildering at times.
Reading Ferenc’s comment regarding the Haverhill Rovers – Chatteris Town match brings back a few memories. I vaguely recall being one of a club record crowd of around 1,300 people (about 1,250 more than usual) at the old Hamlet Croft ground as Rovers stormed to the title (think it was in ’79 actually Ferenc).
The travelling army of Chatteris supporters certainly suggested that the weavers’ cottages in the town were devoid of tenants that particular day.
Anyway, I’m here to make a late rallying call for votes for TUCOLO. This remarkably poignant, yet killingly funny song deserves a run to the semi-finals at the very least. No point picking out favourite lines…..I might just as well paste the entire song across from the lyrics page.
May 9th, 2011
Ferenc Puskás to you
@Emerging From Gorse: I was there too. You are probably right on the year, long time ago.
What a season that was; Jim Thomson scored a boatload and was rumoured to be under scrutiny from Reading. Danny Green (#6) anchoring the midfield.
I also travelled with fellow Rovers fans away to Yarmouth, who were our only rivals for the title. 1-1 if I remember right, little Steve Murray (who’s missus used to cut my hair) popping up for an equalizer after we’d wandered round to stand behind the goal.
And that Chatteris game – didn’t Jim score a volley after an audacious piece of control? And then a lap of honour.
Went to most home games that season. Heady days. Probably a few dogs on the pitch, I’d wager.
If you were there too, we might need to get chat further. Email me at tumblingyak at comcast dot net.
I think Vagaries can go far, btw. Last four, I reckon.
May 10th, 2011
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