30 Apr 2008
Too late with your Nxe3
Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess is a fairly throwaway song in the context of CSI:Ambleside, but then again, the album is one of HMHB’s strongest sets ever. But it still makes you chuckle, and gets in a reference to a Zulu warrior, which is always an achievement. Thanks to Jon
See lyrics to Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess
60 Letters Sent:
Martin Taylor
Line 4:
With your NxE3 (knight takes piece at square E3)
Cheers,
Martin
May 1st, 2008
chris
But doesn’t “x” mean “takes”? And I do think it’s e3, not E3. Ooh, we’re getting pedantic here!
May 1st, 2008
grim
Sounds very much like an Nxe3 to me as well, although I agree it would usually be pronounced “takes.”
May 2nd, 2008
chris
OK, tell you what pedants, I’ll change the name of this page (done) and make a note in the lyrics!
May 2nd, 2008
Vince
I’d always heard it as N8E3 (ie the Knight on the 8th file), but that supposes that there is another knight that could move to E3
May 2nd, 2008
Vince
Thinking about it – my explanation above is ludicrous. A knight on File 8 can’t possibly move to e3. Given that, I’m going with Nxe3
May 3rd, 2008
Keith
cos when all’s said and done
You’re not like Torvill and Dean
May 23rd, 2008
Debeast
Didn’t get a gob, psosibbly morte likely to be didn’t get a cob on. Northern expression for angry!
May 29th, 2008
Malcy
Hi Chris.
a) Definitely “didn’t get a gob on”, as in
That Heather Mills, she always has a right gob on her = That recently divorced parasite is constantly moaning isn’t she ?
b) N at e3, I reckon. Dennis could have moved his Knight there without taking anything in order to prevent his being checkmated – and there’s no suggesting he did take any piece to get there. If his last move was N-e3 ( N to e3) then he currently has an N *at* e3. QED if a bit nerdy.
Keep up the good work !
Jun 4th, 2008
Gordon Burns
“cos when all’s said and done
You’re not like Torvill and Dean”
or it could be
“cos when all’s said and done
You’re not like Brian Deane”
Jun 17th, 2008
Daryl
to be ultra pedantic to the point of insanity, I’d have an exclamation mark after “checkmate”. They’re often overused, but i think it applies here. Jesus, i really need to get out more. Debating punctuation in pop lyrics!
Feel completely free to ignore this drivel…
Jun 19th, 2008
Keith
Chris,
I would have thought that you would have picked up on the Torvill and Dean line by now.
It’s a reference to the winsome couple’s triumph in the Sports personality of the year poll back in 84.
Keith
Aug 11th, 2008
Chris
@Keith: you must be listening to a different version to me. In both the album version and the live version, there’s no “Torvill and Dean line”. I’ve listened to both versions umpteen times.
Aug 11th, 2008
Paul F
@Keith. Torvill and Dean doesn’t make sense, doesn’t rhyme and doesn’t even scan. To be honest I thought it was a joke the first time, but you seem to be sticking to your guns.
Aug 11th, 2008
Peter N-H
The things I wonder when I listen to this one:
1) Is this based on a real incident?
2) Is there really a Yahoo! (and there’s a point by the way: it’s correctly ‘Yahoo!’ not ‘Yahoo’) chess playing Dennis Bell of Torquay?
3) Does he know he’s been immortalized by HMHB?
4) If not, shouldn’t we tell him?
5) What do I have to do to be immortalized in the same way? I’m no good at all at chess.
Feb 22nd, 2009
Az
@Keith
“When all’s said and done, you’re not like some of these…
… Bad Losers … “
Jun 22nd, 2009
Mark Boyle
Yes, there’s a Dennis Bell of Torquay – two of the buggers to be exact.
Yes, that should read “N takes E3″ (knight takes piece at square E3)
But don’t think Nigel’s singing “didn’t get a gob on”…never heard of that “Northern English” saying as claimed in my nelly puff!
Sounds more like, “But did he give a gubba”…ie. the double chin produced by someone showing a petted lip!
Jul 13th, 2009
Paul F
I wonder whether the Dennis Bells are both “noms de guerre” of HMHB fans – or whether one actually existed before the song.
And I frequently say “gob on” although “cob on” would also make sense. Maybe its use is restricted to Merseyside. I’ve certainly never heard a Merseysider refer to a gubba (Tony excepted of course).
Jul 14th, 2009
Mark Boyle
The two Dennis Bells turn up on various people finder and company director registration sites – it’s definitely not one of Nigel’s pseuds like he uses to wind people up in the local newspapers with!
Aug 4th, 2009
Garth Crooks' Sieve
Nxe3
Cob on. Scouse expression for an angry sulk.
Some of these.
Aug 4th, 2009
Steve Malkmoose
“Cob on” …. not just as scouse expression, us Mancs use it too. I assumed it was national but apparently not. Definitely a vote for “cob on” here!
Aug 5th, 2009
Neil G
‘Cob on’ is common but ‘Gob on’ is also used. This sounds like ‘Gob on’ to me.
Aug 5th, 2009
Ben
Me too, Cob on is to be in a sulk, gob on is the physical proof of this.
Aug 6th, 2009
Paul F
Very good explanation Ben!
Aug 6th, 2009
Ben
Cheers Paul, I was going to go with:
“What’s up with ‘our’ Cetschawayo? State of him on the phone la, got on a cob on about something”
“I know, just seen ‘im coming out The Swan, with a right gob on him”
Aug 6th, 2009
Paul F
Thanks Ben for giving me the mental image of a moody Zulu king, spear in hand, staggering down Wood Street. That will keep me chuckling all day.
Aug 7th, 2009
Dave F.
The line “But did he get a cob on” requires a question mark.
Aug 7th, 2009
Treadmore
I’m with Malcy: “N at e3″ and “didn’t get a gob on”
also:
‘cos he just signed out (not Cause)
‘cos when all’s said and done (not “all is”)
And at the Roadwater gig we were told that Neil is the bad loser.
Aug 8th, 2009
Treadmore
just noticed I mis-typed the gob/co line – doh
I still think it’s “gob on” though (and I’m a northen lad familiar with the term “cob on”
)
Aug 9th, 2009
Chris The Siteowner
Listening to the BBC Radio Merseyside set version, it sounds distinctly like “gob”, even more so than the original. So I’m going with that (again).
Aug 9th, 2009
Tumshie
Re the Nxe3 line;
‘Nxe3′ is what is in the song, but a chess player would translate that without thinking to ‘Knight takes on e3′. It only seems odd as it is out of context- Nxe3 is from a pgn (portable game notation) record of a chess game.
What confused me more was that when I played on Yahoo Chess it was one of the few websites not using pgn to record games! It didn’t say which piece was being moved but gave only the start and finish squares of the move; supposing the knight had been sitting on f5 before the move it would have been recorded as f5-e3. This may well have changed- this odd notation was irritating but I stopped playing there because of the number of people cheating and, of course, the bad losers.
Aug 10th, 2009
Swanaldo
This may help.
Aug 14th, 2009
Chris The Siteowner
Fantastic. Doesn’t help with the Nxe3, because the lyrics must have changed, but it nails down the gob/cob argument. Thanks!
Aug 14th, 2009
Chris Quinn
Picture of the handwritten lyrics here (on display at Liverpool Museum)
Aug 24th, 2009
BigLarry
For me at least on two occasions Nigel sings “Yahoo! Chest” – am I alone on this one?
I distinctly remember him doing similar on other tracks, although the names escape and my sound card is at the moment defunct.
Aug 28th, 2009
Shamou
Great site. This makes me wince very time I arrive here though and I keep checking (definitely no pun, etc.) to see if it’s changed. When I first heard the song I thought the line was, ‘With your Nxe3′. About a hundred listens later I still hear, ‘With your Nxe3′.
That’s because a) he definitely says ‘x’. And b) ‘Nxe3′ makes perfect sense and is funny enough to a chessplayer to make them smile, whereas ‘N at e3′ does neither and just sounds weird. If you said to an opponent, ‘You were too late with your bishop at b5′ you’d get nothing but a puzzled look – the wording would be, ‘Bishop to b5 came too late,’ or something similar.
Yes, ‘x’ is ‘pronounced’ – ‘takes’; but that doesn’t mean it can’t be ‘x’ because then by the same token it couldn’t be ‘N’ (which should be said as, ‘knight’). The whole little bit of whimsy is that he’s saying, ‘knight takes e3′ perhaps as a beginner would on first seeing chess notation, i.e. exactly as it’s written – ‘Nxe3′.
Can’t you please change it?! Chessplayers have enough problems of their own making to drive them nuts…
Tumshie, I think I may have played you online! (sorry all, I know this ain’t Friends Reunited).
Keep up the brilliant work with the site.
Oct 25th, 2009
Chris The Siteowner
I’ve been swayed by the Dennis Bells. Oo-er.
Oct 26th, 2009
Shamou
Better than being swung by the Karpovs. Great stuff, tonight I’ll finally sleep peacefully again, ta!
Oct 27th, 2009
steve x
I realise this must be obvious, but as it hasn’t been mentioned here I thought I’d add that the tune is ‘Top Of The Pops’ by The Rezillos – just in case anyone wasn’t aware
it’s here > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DM3f-pRidnU
Nov 18th, 2009
Charles Exford
An interesting and who knows possibly even significant similarity, but I don’t think it would stand up in court. Amusing to imagine the case, and I reckon it would come down to the brilliant 10-note cadence of the vocals accompanying the words “everybody’s on top of the pops”, where the catchy pause is versus the 7 notes of the somewhat less unique up-and-downy bit which accompany the words “bad losers on Yahoo chess”. Both have a pause in the middle, both go up and down a bit, but …
Nov 21st, 2009
Ben
I dunno Charles, if I was Faye Fife I’d say to Nigel “I know what you look like so don’t ever come near Dunfermline”
Nov 21st, 2009
grim
I was here inspired to write quite a screed on the similarities and differences between the two songs, but then I ditched it. The point of similarity is limited to the first couple of lines of the verses, which are admittedly very similar. Beyond that, the songs diverge. I don’t think the similarities are anything more than superficial, and it’s wrong to say that the tunes are the same, implying a full-scale rip-off. It certainly isn’t that.
Nov 21st, 2009
simon smith
Exxo, you are Simon Frith and I claim my Mercury Music Prize (recieved with due awe)
Nov 22nd, 2009
simon smith
and can you hear Speech Debelle?
Nov 22nd, 2009
steve x
Just for clarification, I wasn’t suggesting HMHB had ripped off the Rezillos.
They mimic so many musical styles and songs, that similarities can only ever be considered as tributes or pastiches.
ie: New York Skiffle isn’t a rip-off of Lonnie Donegan’s “Chewing Gum” song, and With Goth On Our Side doesn’t rip-off Bob Dylan…. they’re more like reverential nods.
BTW, has anyone noticed how the tune for Petty Sessions sounds a little bit like the Hokey Cokey…?
Nov 23rd, 2009
Charles Exford
Nobody has suggested that you suggested it’s a rip-off.
Rip-offs are unacknowledged. There was a bloke in the audience in Leeds whose local Leeds band has performed a song with the refrain “the light at the end of the tunnel is the light of an oncoming train”, and has told the “Jan Ackerman” joke live on stage between songs. Neither with acknowledgement. That’s a rip-off.
NB 57 doesn’t “rip off” because he’s so open about his skits, that’s the point, and they are only really extra funny if you know the originals. The Lonnie Donegan & Dylan & for that matter Hokey Cokey are just straight forward re-workings of well-known tunes with alternative lyrics, which we all do all the time as we watch the adverts or potter round the house or wait for buses (don’t we ? I wouldn’t trust anybody who doesn’t make up daft words to songs from TV ads).
But the Rezillos comparison is different. It’s just a somewat similar tune in 1 or 2 places. Most punk & pop-punk & post-punk stuff is.
Personally I only see HMHB doing “reverential nods” in their live covers.
Nov 25th, 2009
Neil G
Charles, Charles, the Jan Akkerman (spelling) joke was doing the rounds when I was at school and Hocus Pocus and Sylvia were in the charts. I made it up myself, along with about a million other people. ‘The light at the end of the tunnel’ was also almost certainly used by others before Nigel used it. Neither was a rip-off.
I too make up stupid words to well known tunes. I remember singing ‘Rabbit Fur Slippers’* over and over again to the tune of ‘Oh My Darling Clementine’. I was singing it very loudly in the downstairs toilet one day. When I emerged, there was a Corgi registered engineer who had come to fix my boiler. My wife had let him in but had failed to warn me of his presence. He gave me a strange look. I greeted him with a timely ‘Hello’ and carried on walking. I will never be allowed to forget that day.
As for HMHB doing rip-offs, it doesn’t happen. Lots of bits of songs crop up all over the place but they are all above board and definitely come under the category of ‘reverential nods’. (I put ‘reverential nods’ in quotes so you wouldn’t think I was ripping off your phrase.)
*I was singing ‘Rabbit Fur Slippers’ because my daughter’s rabbit had gnawed through the telephone cable earlier that day and I had threatened to cook him and make myself a pair of rabbit fur slippers out of his coat. The phrase just stuck in my head. I didn’t do it. He died a natural death much later. Just to put your mind at ease.
Nov 25th, 2009
simon smith
“…and Neil G and Exxo do some serious drugs in…”
Yes I know they aren`t the words (nor this song), verbatim, but as much as I try I cannot achieve the heights of pedantry required to be worthy of the site. *sighs*
Nov 25th, 2009
Charles Exford
I know Neil, I know, it’s almost as old a joke as the crossword one. We almost certainly agree on most things. And (Simon et al) the irony of pompously quibbling about “originality” when it comes to HMHB is not lost on me.
But if you’re in an HMHB audience and your band is doing those two things, as said fella is/was the last 2 times I saw his (otherwise rather fine) outfit, a Leeds band who shall remain nameles, then you are kind of ripping them off methinks.
Nov 26th, 2009
dennis bell
———————
GRIM: “it’s wrong to say that the tunes are the same, implying a full-scale rip-off.”
STEVE X: “Just for clarification, I wasn’t suggesting HMHB had ripped off the Rezillos.”
CHARLES EXFORD: “Nobody has suggested that you suggested it’s a rip-off.”
———————
Nov 30th, 2009
Max Williams
This made me a little sad – overheard in a sandwich shop on the way to work this morning. Two late-forties blokes, one says to the other “we call him half man half biscuit, you know, like that band from the eighties, do you remember?”
I wanted to correct him but didn’t.
Dec 1st, 2009
Charles Exford
You got me there Dennis – let me know if you fancy a bout any time, by the way.
Dec 1st, 2009
LondonDan
I always heard it as ‘N at g3′ implying that Mr Bell (presumably playing black) had his knight there ready to launch an attack, but was foiled by Nigel’s cheeky counter checkmate and I still do. But then, I don’t have much of a life.
Feb 13th, 2010
Charles Exford
As I lay semi-snoozing this morning, a R4 discussion of Zulu history on Mevyn Bragg’s programme saw mention of Cetshwayo, and it reminded me to google my suspicions that in fact Cetshwayo was in fact extremely miffed after Rourke’s Drift and that the Impis’ noble sporting gesture at the end of the film ‘Zulu’ is a myth which didn’t happen. The British, too, were extremely bad victors (or bad losers, having had 1,300 men massacred the day before at Isandlwana).
“Both the Zulus and the British were so battle-weary after a long night of bloody, hand to hand combat, that when the Zulus saw Lord Chelmsford’s column coming along the route from Isandhlwana the next day, they retreated from the post …” [otherwise with British ammunition very low they would have attacked again and probably won].
“It is true that the opening battles of the war – Isandlwana, Rorke’s Drift and Nyezane – did give both the British and Zulu a new-found respect for each other’s fighting capabilities. But the aftermath of Rorke’s Drift was a good deal less romantic. When the battle was over, the British garrison and relief column went over the field, and shot or bayoneted all the [several hundred at least ] wounded Zulu they found there.”
(both quotes from rourkesdriftvc.com)
Cetshwayo got a right cob on. Proper seething he was. Like Alex Ferguson when he doesn’t get enough injury time. The furious tit-for-tat masacres continued until Cetshwayo was captured a few months later.
He still had a right cob on when he met Gladstone in exile in London about 10 years later. A proper bad loser in yahoo massacres.
Apr 15th, 2010
Charles Exford
By the way, confirming “Nxe3″, NB57 said “I’m not really au fait with these things.”
Apr 15th, 2010
Tumshie
@ shamou
Yes, we have played a few times, I think there may even have been a game I didn’t lose!
Jun 20th, 2010
Mark Boyle
Regarding the topic of ‘Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess’ sounding like ‘Top Of The Pops’ by The Rezillos, since the chorus line of the Rezillos number is a rip-off from ‘Here We Go Loopy Loo’ (best known for being played ad nauseum on ‘Andy Pandy’ on the BBC) then Faye Fife and That Bloke That Looked Like An Ugly Bird That Later Joined The Human League haven’t got a lot to complain about.
So there!
Sep 27th, 2010
daz
thought it was ..your not like one of these..
Oct 17th, 2010
chedgzoy
or even ‘you’re not like one of these..’
Oct 17th, 2010
Dave Wiggins
Oh, and it’s 100% ‘gob’.
Aug 8th, 2011
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