The Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics Project

Busking this at Embankment Tube tomorrow

163 pop songs picked over by pedants (in 3,002 comments!)

While St Peter investigates the inevitable asterisk

Thanks to Sanchez from the genius which is pointlesswasteoftime.com for these lyrics from the odd but strangely compelling Achtung Bono track Surging Out Of Convalescence. I made a couple of small amendments and I think it’s spot-on now.

See lyrics of Surging Out Of Convalescence

14 Letters Sent:
  1. Dennis

    Genius. Thanks so much for these. I’ve heard the song 50+ times and never knew the first verse was about darts in soap operas! Good luck with the project!

    Dennis

  2. quality janitor

    Lol. When the album first came out, my mate third rate les and I were singing “dogs in soap operas, so wrong” (wellards, willie and roly6 – need I say more?)

  3. Bill Stow

    Line 1 of the final verse – the magazine is ‘Horse and Hound’

    No ‘s’

    Noel Noel
    Noel Noel
    That is the name of that b******d Cantwell

    as we used to sing on the terraces

    regards

    Bill

  4. The magazine is indeed Horse and Hound. But that ain’t what’s in the song…

  5. nick h

    A regular in my ‘top 5′ this one.
    Sounds distinctly like ‘Try in vain’.

  6. I hear

    ‘I’ll doubtless have to wait’

    instead of

    ‘I will doubtless have to wait’

  7. Jon

    3rd verse has:

    Let’s face it, what’re they going to do?

    I’m sure ther is a ‘Well’ in front:

    Well let’s face it…………

  8. Mark

    Always thought it was “they don’t know their board” which makes sense?

  9. dagenham dave

    Mark – I agree, that’s what I’ve always heard.

  10. Chris The Siteowner

    Hmm, anyone else?

  11. Neil G

    ‘Therefore’, to my ears, and it makes more sense.

  12. John Anderson

    Another vote for “therefore”. It’s simply a conjunction.

  13. Third rate Les

    Therefore for me, no question. It goes with the “I propose” in a faintly overblown style for comic effect.

    One of my absolute all-time favourites. I love the contrast between the drama of the music and the sheer daftness of the lyrics as it builds up at the end, and the hyperactive kid line makes me laugh every time – a line that sums up so much in such a briefly dismissive way (a bit like the “James Dean/Marilyn Monroe” one, I always think).

  14. Charles Exford

    Like Les, I’m very fond of this song. I love the way it starts jaunty, then goes slow and hesitant, “therefore …I propose ….no ” but gradually gains strength, accelerating into a joyous-yet-angry romp of tune. It’s as if the first slow moan about darts in soap operas has been made propped up on pillows watching the telly after being poorly, but it’s a definite sign that he’s on the mend, and he’s soon surging out of convalescence with a typically Blackwellian rant, made up of a collage of diverse images, mostly of them wonderfully silly but some slightly serious, set to an accelerating romp of a tune.

    And of course there are literary quotes too. First the biblical-sounding language of iron entering people’s souls, a common saying over many centuries, but here it is in Thomas Hardy, writing about “Jude the Obscure”, in his letters, V2, 93:
    “This tragedy is addressed to those whose souls the iron has entered, and entered deeply, at some point in their lives.”

    But in the previous line, we’re in Aldeburgh on the Suffolk Coast, with George Crabbe (born 1754) writing hard-hitting rhymes about his local poorhouse:
    “There children dwell who know no parents’ care;
    Parents, who know no children’s love, dwell there!
    Heart-broken matrons on their joyless bed,
    Forsaken wives, and mothers never wed;
    Dejected widows with unheeded tears,
    And crippled age with more than childhood fears.”

    From “The Village” (1783) by George Crabbe. A poem oft-quoted about C18 and C19 poorhouses.

    [As well as Crabbe and Roy Keane, who walks his dog on the beach at Aldeburgh (as ITFC’s very own Chris Rand will doubtless attest), other notable residents of this famous historical town have included Benjamin Britten (who based “Peter Grimes” on Crabbe’s lyrics) ... and M.R. James, another favourite author of NB57. Small world.]

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