Your PBRs…
You know those moments when something happens and it immediately brings to mind a Half Man Half Biscuit lyric? On the Y! Music (i.e Yahoo Groups) Half Man Half Biscuit Mailing List, and perhaps beyond, this is known as a PBR, because “life is a Perpetual Biscuit Reference”. Anyway, by popular demand (OK, one person’s suggestion), here’s a page where you can record any noteworthy PBRs. Particularly good ones would be two or three references occurring together in majestic harmony, rather than “I sat behind a Chinese student on the number three bus the other day and he was carrying a Ken Hom Wok Set” (which is true, by the way, and I giggled for the whole journey). Over to you!
Go on. Tweet a link to this page.
231 Letters Sent:
Paul F
My favourite (as already posted on the For What is Chatteris page):
I was walking back from the pub a while back, with a mate of mine, a fellow Scouse HMHB fan, in the small Berkshire village where I live. As we were walking he asked me if we had many “drive-by shoutings” in the village. Not 30 seconds later, a car sped past us and the lad in the front passenger seat leaned out the window and yelled “Fuck off” at us.
Jan 9th, 2009
Mr Larrington
For the first night of Paris-Brest-Paris in 2007, I had the first verse of “Our Tune” on permanent loop in my head. With some 90 miles to go, a combination of lack of sleep and Pro-Plus overdose meant I /did/ end up in the ambulance…
Jan 12th, 2009
Peter Gandy
Last summer whilst flicking through the TV channels I happened upon an episode of Holby City, and immediately burst into “He looked out of the aeroplane…”. I decided to test how many things would occur in the next 24 hours to which I could make refernce to HMHB. It turned out that there were nine, including three in five minutes whilst watching that ‘news’ programme with Adrian Chiles (can’t think of its name): switching on Blackpool lights, the Fritillary butterfly, and one other that I have forgotten.
Jan 16th, 2009
Paul F
I was just listening to the 5Live sports news and they were interviewing the Cardiff Blues (Rugby Union) coach, Dai Young.
Jan 24th, 2009
Ben
I had King of Hi-Vis in my head all day after reading Simon Hoggart’s column yesterday.
Jan 24th, 2009
Charles Exford
Ha ha, yes, if Friday’s Hoggart column was full of lanyards, then Saturday’s state-of-the-nation rant made me think of a sort of National Shite Day in which the narrator _does_ want to go to Cuba. Or something.
Meanwhile, can we post here when non-HMHB original HMHB lyrics get quoted in the media ? Well, here goes then ! The first episiode of BBC 4′s Folk America last Friday was always likely to be one for the Biscuiteers to savour: how many of the great early blues tunes or lyrics oft-quoted by our lads would be featured ? I guessed at least several, Mrs. Exford said probably a couple or more, and we weren’t disappointed.
After about 18 mins & again more extensively on about 55 mins (of a
one-hour show) we had Blind Lemon Jefferson singing ‘See that my
Grave’s kept Clean’ (indeed we saw almost those precise noble words
inscribed on his tombstone).
Then there were the much earlier spirituals, not really referred to in
the narrative but just played in snatches in the background – after
about 19.5 mins we had a snatch of ‘Old Time Religion’, and after 34
minutes ‘Wade in the Water’ (thankfully not the relatively recent Eva Cassidy version).
There was a good few minutes about the Brakeman (from Tyrolean Knockabout) himself, yodelling Jimmie Rodgers, on 50-53 mins, including a few bars of something that I think had a heavy influence on the yodelling bit at the end of a ‘Country practice’ (53 mins or so). Freeze frame if you’d like to to read the trackside memorial plaque commemorating Rodgers as the founder of C & W.
I don’t think we can expect as many Biscuit influences in future
episodes,and it’s only on your i-player til 9pm this Friday 30th Jan (how
appropriate – the lads exact onstage time) so check it, innit yea ?
And can we also post here when radio DJ’s refer to the lyrics after playing a HMHB number ? “Aintree0252 from the mailing list points out that after `Joy Division oven gloves’ was given airtime on the Radcliffe & Maconie show last Wednesday night (21st)
And just to add a twist to the tale, Aintree025 tells us, Gordon Burns (he of local news in the northwest, Krypton factor, etc) was guesting on said programme, when it was pointed out to him that he featured in the lyrics.
Track played, and Burns seemingly presented with a copy of Achtung Bono as a memento. Available on the iPlayer thingy, Aintree 025 tells us, until this coming Wednesday 28 Jan – Fast forward until about 1 hr 20 mins for the relevant bit.
Cheers,
Exxo
Jan 26th, 2009
Chris The Siteowner
Don’t forget this page you’re on is for PBRs (occurrences which bring HMHB lyrics to mind), whereas this page is for bigging up people who knowingly quote HMHB in the media.
Jan 26th, 2009
Charles Exford
Apologies Chris – I realised the difference between the pages but just thought I was replying to a post in ‘media’ as Ben had mentioned a Guardian column …. silly me, must try harder.
You’ve given a nice precise definition of the distinction there (and who would expect any less from a technical journalist ?) but I still can’t decide where to post my next offering …. if I’m quoting _myself_, doing some comic verse on 606 on 5 Live, flattering-by-imitation-but-not-quoting the Biscuit ? It could be in PBR’s, it could be in the thread for the song itself (Referee’s Alphabet) or it could be in the media…. I’m guessing you’d prefer it in media ?
Awkward Exford
Jan 26th, 2009
Chris The Siteowner
I wasn’t specifically referring to anyone Charles, now stop it.
Jan 26th, 2009
RobJ
Not sure if this counts, but…
I was walking to work this morning and “Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite” was playing on the MP3 player.
I came to a crossing and at the exact second that the line “Cats, Phantom, Starlight, Les” played, a bus cruised past carrying a large advert for Les Miserables.
More than just a PBR?
Jan 29th, 2009
Richard
Not sure where this belongs, but last nights Coronation Street (the second episode I think) had a darts match (I think there was a special celebrity darts player; one looked familar but I am not a darts expert).
Anyway, the team need 76, and with two darts, the darts player won on the bull (double 13, bull I suppose). Shades of Surging out of Convalescence.
No soap darts.
Feb 3rd, 2009
a_p
The rubber-faced irritant Phil Cool played in Bridgwater last month — http://www.bridgwaterartscentre.co.uk/WhatsonJan09.htm. Wonder if he took time out to check out the nearby Quantocks?
Feb 11th, 2009
Neil G
This isn’t a PBR but there doesn’t seem to be anywhere else to put it. HMHB recorded David Wainwright’s Feet for the album Colours Are Brighter (which is available from Amazon at £39.99!). If you just want to hear the HMHB contribution, you can hear it on the new Spotify website. It’s the only HMHB track available on there but since it’s one that many of us may not have heard before, it’s worth signing up. It’s free.
Mar 21st, 2009
Paul F
I overheard my wife on the phone recently (a non-HMHB fan obviously) say somone was up shit creek, and was not only without a paddle, but “didn’t even have a canoe”. The next day a German work colleague asked if I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel (economically), and if so, was it an oncoming train?
Mar 25th, 2009
Paul F
A somewhat spooky one here. I was listening to “Christian Rock Concert” in the car, and as I heard the words “Get thee behind me Stryper
I’ve played your records backwards” I glanced at the dashboard display which told me that my estimated range on the diesel I had just filled up with was 666 miles…
Mar 27th, 2009
Jan
Sometime ago, Number One Daughter was invited to Avebury at Halloween. She came home full of tales about the folk she had met, and handed me a present, a little notebook made from handmade paper. “Oh, lovely,” I cried, “but why this? What is it?” “Mother,” she retorted, “I’m shocked. Don’t you know a quaint notepad for weekend pagans when you see one?”
Oh, and, should Mr Jan and I be surprised by an invitation on the hoof, so to speak, with both of the inviting couple right there, grinning away as if they’ve just handed us a ticket to paradise, all one of us has to do is say “That’s sure to be good” to let the other one know precisely how they feel.
Mar 27th, 2009
Justin
A first class fish and chip shop according to The Times Top 10 Fish and Chip Shops in the UK.
7. Petrou Brothers (Cambridgeshire)
23 West Park Street, Chatteris, PE16 6AL (T: 01354 692234; http://www.petroubrothersfishandchips.co.uk)
Current champions of Eastern England, Mark and Pete Petrou are former winners of the national title and offer a modern take on fish and chips with their forward-thinking shop. Having won numerous awards for training and development, customers are promised top-notch service from the knowledgeable staff. A variety of alternative species are available including hake, pollack, hoki and coley, as well as smoked salmon and haddock. Health conscious visitors can opt for steamed fish and new potatoes or sample the shop’s homemade fish cakes, made entirely with natural ingredients and locally-sourced produce.
Mar 27th, 2009
Pete
my girlfriend recently described some new singer-songwriter or other as “the new Nick Drake”.
Mar 30th, 2009
Mick Ransom
That BBC Timeteam documentary on telly this week about Ernie Shackleton retreating close to the pole, as he didnt want men dying to achieve his goal – 100 years on from that glorious failure some of the relatives of the original 1909 Polar team eventually achieved his goal.
Better still, double Biscuit joy was to be had – a bloke was clad in a ‘Lowe Alpine’ bobble hat.
I gave a little grin.
Apr 6th, 2009
Mr Larrington
Bob Wilson was on the “Today” programme this morning. The BBC shouldn’t spring that stuff on me when I’m driving to work – it could cause an accident…
Apr 30th, 2009
pjdoyle
I went to a wedding, once.
May 6th, 2009
Charles Exford
Whenever I notice a Biscuit-referenced horse running I always have a small wager, especially if the racecourse is also referenced in lyrics, e.g. “Mr. Ed” ran at Hereford recently (and did actually cross the line firest, but unfortunately minus his rider).
Anyway, just I won a few quid on “Classic Swain” at Newton Abbott. Sorry Fredorarci I should have contacted you with the tip. Didn’t have to wait long for them to weigh in either.
May 7th, 2009
Jan
Number One Daughter has just texted on her way to Somerset to say she has passed a sign saying Asparagus, Next Left. It being a bit early for Asparagus, I wonder if they know precisely what they’re saying and who would understand it.
May 8th, 2009
pjdoyle
Just been sent this by the Guardian via email: ( Sorry for the cut and past job as the efffect is better on the email)/
The Guardian and Observer guides to Performing
Part one: Acting, Part two: Singing
(3 characters)
ACT 1
The GUARDIAN and OBSERVER enter stage left, and join YOU – already on stage, reading from a script and practising lines.
SCENE 1
YOU
Guardian and Observer! – what are you doing here? …what are those?
GUARDIAN
(dramatically)
Oh these are for you – two very special guides to aid you in all aspects of your trade. The first to help you act with confidence, passion and skill.
OBSERVER
(sings)
And the second to help you sing with clarity, like the lark.
GUARDIAN & OBSERVER place the guides down in front of you.
YOU
How do you know all this?
GUARDIAN
We have learnt from the very best – from RADA, the Royal Academy of Music and a host of stars from stage and screen.
YOU
And what do I owe you for these guides? What do you want from me?
GUARDIAN
We want nothing extra from you – consider them our gift.
CURTAIN
May 8th, 2009
a_p
Jan,
A Somerset Biscuit run…
…through Bridgwater, along the A39 at the foot of the Quantocks, pass by a sign offering hanging baskets (sold out), then a sign for asparagus next left (with the added teaser of rhubarb) — all in the space of a few miles.
May 8th, 2009
Dave F.
Hi Jan
Just to let you know, May is bang in the middle of Asparagus season.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/mostof_asparagus.shtml
Haven’t you been watching all those TV culinary shows?
They’ve got the stuff coming out of their ears, along with scallops, which appears to be trendy at the moment.
And as A_P points out, there appears to be numerous cottage industry farmers in Somerset, who are in the the joke. No idea why.
May 9th, 2009
Jan
Brilliant, both! Sadly, I’m on one of those elimination diets so “All the chefs on TV we’ll avoid/culinary bores must be destroyed”, or words to that effect. You’re on the money there, Dave, I’m seriously out of the loop aspargus-wise. A_P, sounds like it would be dangerous for me to drive in Somerset…..
BUT — in the middle of researching something entirely un-Biscuit-related (growing more and more convinced there is No Such Thing) I found the following (stick with me, guys):
Former players who attended the (Emirates) museum’s unveiling ceremony on October 12 included Kenny Sansom, John Radford, and Paul Davis who along with **Bob Wilson**, Charlie George, Sammy Nelson and Perry Groves will be leading the Legends Tours operated by the museum.
Bob Wilson, tour guide. You couldn’t make it up.
May 10th, 2009
Charles Exford
Let’s face it, ‘asparagus next right’ signs are going to cause all kinds of nasty accidents and the local constabulary have probably been quite justified in removing them all.
May 11th, 2009
Mr Larrington
This story has just popped up on The Register:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/05/11/tram_crash_texting/
May 11th, 2009
Charles Exford
You had me wondering if Chigley was syndicated in the States (was it ?) till I saw that the title had been added this side of the pond.
(***IRRELEVANT & SPURIOUS REST-OF-POST ALERT***STOP READING NOW IF YOU VALUE BREVITY AND RELEVANCE)
…but the uncanny thing for me reading the full story from the Boston site is that in the sentence “the collision happened near the Government Center M.B.T.A. stop” you’ve got PBRs (personal Boston references) from my 2 favourite Boston acts, Jonathan Richman, who sang about
“Rockin’ at the Government Center,
to make the secretaries feel better,
as they stick the stamps on the letter”
and the Dropkick Murphys, who sang about
….the story of a big ol’ skinhead
On a tragic and fateful day
Put 10 cents in his pocket, kissed his wife and family
And went to ride on the M.B.T.A
I should make up strange “connections” competitions for the radio & then get people I know to phone in and win them. Oh wait a minute, I’ve done that.
May 11th, 2009
Steve G
Journalists who try to spell an interviewee’s laugh:
http://twitpic.com/4wsbs
There’s people who can’t spell weird right driving round with thousands in the bank:
http://twitpic.com/4wsgp
May 14th, 2009
pjdoyle
Asparagus lovers strike back:
A woman was allegedly assaulted in Germany after a motorist accused her of overcharging for white asparagus.
Authorities are looking for the man after he verbally abused the 24-year-old before punching her in the face and threatening to set his attack dog on her, Reuters reports.
Police spokesman Dietmar Keck said: “The motorist said her prices were totally over the top.”
White asparagus, sometimes known as edible ivory or white gold, reportedly fluctuates in price according to the season, from 80p to nearly £9 per kilogram.
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/a156435/woman-assaulted-over-asparagus-prices.html
May 19th, 2009
Charles Exford
For Jan – a whole local news report dedicated to the road signs of asparagus season:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/8062410.stm
Some right sinister-looking characters down the end of that particular country lane.
(But I guess in a few days this link might not work any more ?)
May 21st, 2009
pjdoyle
A missed opportunity here. The headline of this story should have been something like, “Bickering Totnes constituents are not being fair, says money-grabbing Tory MP”.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/may/21/mps-expenses-anthony-steen
May 23rd, 2009
Mr Larrington
When this:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_8067000/8067683.stm
got a mention on this morning’s Today programme, I found myself singing “Who put the ‘con’ in ‘concept’? It was me!” as my motor-car paddled around the North Circular.
May 26th, 2009
Petrovic
My colleague just announced ‘Talvin Singh is following us on Twitter’.
May 26th, 2009
Mr Larrington
Apropos nothing much at all, there’s been an outbreak of HMHB lyrics over at spEak You’re bRanes: http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/2009/06/05/quite-frightening/#comments
Jun 8th, 2009
swaledale henry
“Are these my ultimate pyjamas
Is this my final dressing gown”
Any ideas as to the root of this? Its been bugging me since I first heard it. I thought perhaps from some war poet, or similar but much time on google and talking to ‘poemmy’ friends has yeilded ZERO!
Jun 9th, 2009
Dick Drake
Re Dave F’s comment on asparagus and scallops:
ODE TO PECTINIDAE OR
SCALLOPS ARE THE NEW CHORIZO
What the ell is it with scallops
They seem to be in every dish
They put em with lamb
And strawberry jam
They even put em in with fish
What the flippin eck is it with scallops
There surely cant be many left
Their sinuous ridges
End up in fridges
A favourite of every chef
What on earth is it with scallops
They must be living in bi-valve hell
Whatever their plight
It serves em right
With their flirty sub-circular shell
What the eck is it with scallops
I know its a tasty little fella
My excuse is lame
But I have to blame
St James of Compostella
I know what it is with scallops
And I also blame the TV cooks
With their fancy nosh
Trying to be posh
But I bet it sells em lots more books
So next time you eat a scallop
Think about this little verse
And however you feel
Enjoy your meal
Cos for a scallop it doesnt get much worse
Hear it performed now and then at The Bridge Inn in Grinton along with various Biscuits ditties.
Jun 9th, 2009
Blue Badge Abuser
Wrong Grave…
Let’s complain!
Jun 9th, 2009
s.g.d.,a Shropshire lad
Swaledale Henry could it be:
In the Hira of my heart, I asked nothing
from my God, but you !
You are my First, and you are my Last !
You are my ultimate aim and you are my final destination.
by Ahmad Nadeem Qasimi
s.g.d.
Jun 9th, 2009
Mr Larrington
There was, apparently, a piece on Blue Badge Abusers on the BBC’s Breakfast prog this morning.
Jun 11th, 2009
swaledale henry
SGD:it certainly could be! Cheers.
I was expecting something more along the lines of “Is this my ultimate???????? Is this my final dressing down”
It’ll do for now.
Jun 11th, 2009
Jan
Overheard in the builder’s merchant this morning: “Excuse me, is this your Sadolin?”
Had to beat a hasty retreat and shriek with laughter once in the car.
Jun 13th, 2009
John Anderson
I went to B&Q this morning. Had absolutely no idea where things are since you ask, but did see a very nice gazebo..
Jun 14th, 2009
JTone
Check out the upper right corner of the Princess Di pic (7th one down)
Jun 15th, 2009
Daryl
Tonight on ITV is this programme:
“The Unforgettable Hattie Jacques”
Which immediately my mind changed to:
“The Unburnable Hattie Jacques”
Forgive me Hattie…
Jun 21st, 2009
Dave F.
Tonight on C4 was a repeat of Celebrity Come Dine with Me, a show were a number of ‘celebrities’ go round to each others houses to be cooked a meal.
This edition involved Paul Ross with a shot of him entering what he undoubtedly calls his ‘gaff’. No fridge-freezers were in evidence though. It had ridiculously low doors for some reason.
Jul 1st, 2009
Daryl
Thought I’d mention this here.
The “curse” strikes again. Molly Sugden is dead at 86. I’m pretty sure she’s mentioned in God Gave Us Life round about 2.25. I think it’s a guide vocal that they couldn’t delete.
Here’s a link about the guide vocal think: http://cobweb.businesscollaborator.com/hmhb/news/2000a.htm
Or perhaps I’m hearing things. And let’s face it, she was quite old.
RIP Molly
Jul 2nd, 2009
Charles Exford
I finally got the chance to sing “You can’t put your foot up in Europe” in a stadium on the ‘Nent last weekend. I was once booked for said offence in Germany but it was 10 years ago and well before the song was released.
So it’s last weekend in Lviv, Ukraine, and my team had already been knocked out of this tournament for supporters’ teams from across Europe, and we’re watching the final, the local Ukrainian fans’ team v. a so-called Glasgow Rangers fans’ team.
Not only are the ‘Gers unpopular cos they’re clearly not a real fans’ team, but are full of pro-standard ringers, but also ‘cos they’re wingeing and moaning all the time.
So one of them, who we’d already been goading a fair amount from the stands, turns to the bench, moaning about being booked, and his coach shouted back:
“You can’t put your foot up like that in Europe”
So I gave the entire stadium a rousing rendition of the whole thing, since I was well, getting a bit bevviedon some rather special local ales at the time. Bemused looks all round, including from my own lads, but worth it for me.
I got loads of pressies from the lovely Bohemians fans from Prague, who were in our group at the tourny, including an ace sticker: “First Ultras on Mars”, it says in Czech, I kid you not. A man in a BPHK may well be chucking said sticker at NB57 at a stage near you soon … actually I have a very rare 1960′s Dukla v. Honved programme I’ve been meaning to give him for a while too so I’ll parcel it all up for Bath ….
Meanwhile off to play in a fans’ tourny in Italy next week, where a dog on the pitch is pretty much guaranteed every year … happy days.
Exxo
Jul 3rd, 2009
Mr Larrington
Dean Friedman was on the BBC’s Breakfast prog this morning, but fortunately I missed it.
Jul 15th, 2009
Peter Gandy
@Mr Larrington
They also spoke about the last time England beat Australia at Lords – in 1934 and led by Hedley Verity.
Jul 15th, 2009
Mr Larrington
I haven’t yet gotten around to watching “Who Do You Think You Are?” but I’m willing to wager that I’ll spend more time looking for evidence of motorway cones and Barry Venison than paying attention to the programme…
Jul 17th, 2009
Dave F.
So Mr Larrington, you won’t be joining in, in sympathy, with the now ubiquitous blubbing into a tissue scene?
Jul 17th, 2009
a_p
On the live Cricinfo commentary…
So it seems the mayor of London Boris Johnson is at the match today. Is it just me or does he look like half man, half golden retriever?
Jul 18th, 2009
Malcolm of Arimathea
I woke up oddly early on Saturday having struggled to get to sleep, vaguely wondering if I should go for a run (I am training for a distance race), turned over to look at my clock, and it was 4:06. That freaked me out a bit.
Richmond Park had to stand in for the Ogwen Lake, but still…
Jul 20th, 2009
Swanaldo
The wife wanted to buy a Bob the Builder DVD for the boys today. I objected on the grounds that “Neil Morrissey’s a knobhead.”
Aug 9th, 2009
Mr Larrington
Driving home down the M11 yesterday evening, I was just about to overtake a Berlin-registered lorry when “Little In The Way Of Sunshine” started playing.
The lorry in question had a big smiley sun painted on the back.
Spook!
Aug 19th, 2009
Ben
Blood on The Cam, Blood on The Cam
Me on Magdalene Bridge and Blood on The Cam
Aug 23rd, 2009
charliew
Not sure if this counts or no, but I keep driving past a church in a village before a motorway junction, attached to the church is a sign that says:
“last services before the motorway”
for some reason I keep thinking, asparagus next left.
Sep 10th, 2009
Ben
Sat in the pub beer garden yesterday avoiding the hordes of new found City fans tellyclapping on their game (2 miles away) on the snide Norwegian channel, with two Evertonians, one of who was bemoaning her step-dad having a ‘Free Michael Sheilds’ (Sic) car sticker, quick as flash the other Evertonian commented “There’s people who can’t spell Shields right, driving round with 000′s in the bank!”
Sep 13th, 2009
a_p
The band play Roadwater, Exmoor, and what follows? An increase in the Marsh Fritillary population according to the latest edition of the local newspaper.I suspect the article was roundly ignored.
Talking of newspapers, did you catch this Saturday’s Guardian? A free copy of Jackie magazine! Sadly no mention of Kendo Nagasaki.
Sep 13th, 2009
Wobs
Once saw a sign in Cornwall by the side of the road that “Pumpkin and Squash Suprise!” They must think we’re stupid.
And one of my local pubs used to have album covers framed on the wall, including: London Calling, Dark Side of the Sun, and ……..a Lisa Domineque album! I should explain that as she’s from Hull, it does add something to the decor.
Sep 23rd, 2009
Dave F.
Sun?
Was that an unreleased follow up?
Must be worth a bob or two.
Sep 23rd, 2009
Looney Toon
Worcester Live has in the ‘It’s What’s On’ section, Dean Friedman, Gordon Giltrap and The Eva Cassidy Story, all on in the coming months!
Oct 8th, 2009
Dave F.
Wow!
The Eva Cassidy Story.
She wrote some songs that no one liked
Until she died.
And that was only because Terry Wogan played them.
The End.
And, don’t, repeat don’t, get me started on Nick Drake.
He committed suicide because he was depressed, because no one liked his music.
Oh! the irony now.
Oct 8th, 2009
dirk the purist
Just heard that an elderly aunt of mine had written to Tom Watson, following his narrow loss at the open championship. Received a hand written reply too ! – putting Jack and Greg to shame
Oct 28th, 2009
Peter Gandy
The singer from the Goombay Dance Band was in the line up on Buzzcocks last night. And he still looks like Alan Brazil.
Nov 12th, 2009
Mr Larrington
I was watching “The Fast Show” on DVD over the weekend. In one of the earlier episodes of Series 2 the Ron Manager sketch not only uses the word “aplomb” but also mentions that the most interesting part of the match under discussion was when a small dog got loose on the pitch.
In a later show, Ron gave a fine demonstration of running backwards, thereby showing that this difficult skill was appreciated by at least one pundit.
Dec 21st, 2009
Bob
A bit of a weak one, but I knew a thoroughly miserable bastard called Frank, and I don’t doubt that at some point he went through a state of depression in his bedroom.
(Sealclubbing)
Dec 26th, 2009
Bob
Also it’s a constant and indisputable fact of life that Neil Morrissey’s a Knobhead.
Dec 26th, 2009
Swanaldo
Double whammy from tonight’s Emmerdale… Firstly, the red-haired strumpet asked her son if he had had “a row on New Year’s Eve”, then there was clearly some ‘darts in soap opera’ action in the closing scenes…no-one seemed to be scoring.
Jan 1st, 2010
Peter Gandy
Guitar Heroes at the BBC on New Years Day had Focus – are you knackered man?, followed by Man – Welsh rockers.
Jan 4th, 2010
Mr Larrington
Ever since I was a Penniless Student Oaf, I’ve blithely assumed that the cast of characters in “The Trumpton Riots” actually live in Trumpton, to the extent that I flew into a big stabby rage at John Humphrys last night when, on “Celebrity Masterbonce”, he claimed that Dr Mopp and Mrs Honeyman come from Camberwick Green. So this morning I consulted teh Interwebs prior to firing off a Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells at the BBC, only to discover that he’s right.
I feel dirty now.
Jan 8th, 2010
John Anderson
I recently received my annual interest statement fom Nationwide.
It’s signed by the Senior Operations Manager in Account Maintenance one Neil Crossley.
Maybe that’s the inspiration for ITMA.
Jan 10th, 2010
Peter Gandy
Multi-talented Sinnitta – she yet again highlighted the irony in those lyrics last night on the Ice Dancing programme.
Jan 11th, 2010
Swanaldo
Somethings definitely afoot on Emmerdale….. Yesterday someone was referred to as a ‘lackey’, and there was an unfeasibly large poster of Cuba in someone’s house.
Jan 12th, 2010
slowmotionstranger
having loved HMHB since i was 12 i thought i’d died and gone to heaven when Pato told me he was engineering their next album, CSI.
I was invited along during a recording session and was desperate to finish work on time to make sure i got there, sometimes it’s cool being a mate of the bloke…
from behind the counter in Micro Music i saw an old lady collapse outside and ran out to try and help her but there was nothing i could do, she died from a heart attack as i held her.
By the time i arrived at the studio my head was a mess, i just sat and stared for most of the time and the band must have thought i was weerd.
What should have been the greatest time i ever had turned into one of my saddest memories and all i could think was
“We stand around in bus queues and die in midweek.”
This is 100% true. Sad but true. Life plays cruel tricks sometimes…
Jan 14th, 2010
slowmotionstranger
Oh yes, by the way, she was waiting for the 86.
Jan 14th, 2010
Charles Exford
Intriguing story SMS. Can definitely hear the Ken Hancock bird noises influence at work in your King of Rock’n'Roll.
Jan 15th, 2010
John Anderson
A bonanza weekend for broadsheet acceptability
Saturday’s Guardian magazine contained a lifestyle feature about Wantage, but sadly there was no mention of the unavailability of “Teenage Eskimo”.
And one of the clues in Sunday’s Observer crossword was “Awful hardship so real in a volume of poetry (1,10,3).”
I’ll leave you to work it out.
Feb 1st, 2010
Peter Gandy
Hope this link works. The article ticked so many boxes for me.
Feb 1st, 2010
Neil G
“And one of the clues in Sunday’s Observer crossword was ‘Awful hardship so real in a volume of poetry (1,10,3).’”
A Shropshire Lad. I claim my £20 book token.
Feb 2nd, 2010
John Anderson
My wife’s going to the Winter Olympics later this month (as a ticket executive not a competitor, I hasten to add) which means that I will become a Nordic ski widower.
But she’s still my downhill lady.
Feb 3rd, 2010
Colin
Two things happened on Tuesday in the wilds of Cardiff. I nearly got taken out by someone careering out of Boots without due care and attention – only some nifty footwork not seen since the days of Dead Shot Keen avoided certain death! Then when going for a late lunch break, I heard the definite tune of “When the evening sun goes down” echoing around me as I walked down the street; taking a moment to regain my senses, I realised it was blasting from a parked vehicle next to me. Now its not often I hear the Biscuit being played in the street, so I had to stop and speak to the driver on his excellent taste in music. If you read this, fellow Biscuit-head from Cardiff, thank you for brightening up my day.
Feb 4th, 2010
dagenham dave
HMHB in my opinion do bring people closer together. If I wear a HMHB t-shirt to a gig I invariably have complete strangers approach me and either smile and nod or as happened at a Wedding Present gig shake my hand.
Recently whilst in the queue in Waitrose I was wearing my HMHB hat, the bloke in front of me smiled and whilst packing his shopping said “I hate Nerys Hughes”, confused the woman on the till no end. Just before he left he told me that he was in a band that supported HMHB once, didn’t say who they were though.
This post does appear to indicate that I’m always wearing some HMHB clothing – I don’t.
Feb 4th, 2010
Mr Larrington
I was watching the Inspector Morse episode “Cherubim And Seraphim” the other night in which assorted teenage rave types top themselves accompanied by the sort of stuff which doubtless got ten out of ten in Jockey Slut and four out of five in Mixmag.
I couldn’t help but mumble “Eggs bread cigs milk” and “A552″ for most of the two hour duration.
Feb 5th, 2010
dagenham dave
Every time I heard this on the news my mind jumped to a certain line from ‘Them’s The Vagaries’
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/8484116.stm
Feb 6th, 2010
Nigel Evans
No problem Colin!!! It was a shock to see someone come up to the car with such an inquisitous look on their face and ask “Is that……………..”. Made me and the Mrs laugh anyway!!!!!
Feb 6th, 2010
John Anderson
Something may definitely be afoot the Guardian magazine. Last week’s property section featured Wantage and this week it’s Machynlleth.
I’m fully expecting articles on Bridgwater, Chatteris and Capel Curig to appear in coming weeks..
Feb 7th, 2010
Mr Larrington
I’ve just had a “shit sellotape” moment.
Feb 12th, 2010
dagenham dave
All this Winter Olympics coverage brings to mind ‘Malayan Jelutong’…
although seeing what’s happened to one participant I’m not sure I would ‘like to have a go at that’…..
Feb 13th, 2010
Peter Gandy
Seems like John’s Guardian theory could be correct. This week it’s lets move to Ely.
Feb 14th, 2010
Daryl
Dagenham Dave
I was thinking about ‘steering a luge to new dimensions.’ After the weekend’s events in Canada, however, I’ve now decided against it.
Feb 14th, 2010
Paul F
At Wycombe Leisure centre for a swimming gala this weekend, I noticed a leaflet entitled “CSI Wycombe” (which turned out be about “Community Support Information”).
Feb 15th, 2010
Ben
It’s about as prosaic as a PBR can get, but I drove through Capel Curig today, traffic was light.
Feb 15th, 2010
steve nicholls
Ricky Tomlinson gets the Farmfoods phone call … http://www.visit4info.com/advert/New-Years-Eating-Farmfoods/81129
Feb 15th, 2010
Mr Larrington
I saw this:
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/02/17/big_screen_entertainment/
and immediately thought of “National Shite Day”. Sadly the culprit turned out to be a 40-year-old unemployed man in the Black Sea port of Novorossiysk rather than a junior employee.
Feb 18th, 2010
Ben
Got home this evening to be surprised by my annual water-bill, not pleasantly either.
Feb 18th, 2010
Peter Gandy
Just got an easy jet back from Amsterdam.
Feb 20th, 2010
John Anderson
I’ve just gone through St Neots on the way back from the postponed game at Peterborough. Further down the line at Hitchin there was a bus with “Rail Replacement Service” on the front. But sadly the Guardian magazine’s run of HMHB related towns is over (unless there’s a reference to Saffron Walden somewhere that I’ve missed).
Feb 20th, 2010
Ben
John, I’m suffering with you in terms of wasted football trips. Thankfully as ‘an M6ster’ I wasn’t waylaid by North Staffs Police after a turgid game at the Bescott
Feb 21st, 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Not really a PBR, but I feel as excited as Amy Williams this morning because I’m the world’s highest scorer at Vatican Broadside on Tune Runner on the iPhone, with 7,311 points. Take that, kids.
Feb 21st, 2010
Dave Wiggins
Ben, whilst discussing our 1970′s holidays at Merseyside Christian Youth Camps in Abererch, North Wales, an associate of mine asked if I remembered “them (sic) bottle-necks at Capel Curig”. He claims never to have heard the said track, but I remain unconvinced.
Feb 22nd, 2010
Dave Wiggins
One of our company directors was called Mr Edmunds (as in Dave, but, sadly, not Noel). Notwithstanding the ‘incorrect’ spelling, I used to enjoy notifying his secretary when his regular contacts turned up for an appointment.
Feb 22nd, 2010
Charles Exford
I think from when I was about 8 years old in the early 70s the phrase “Bottle Neck at Capel Curig” was continually emblazoned on my consciousness, from the warning signs on the A5.
Feb 23rd, 2010
Neil G
I started putting some of my books and CDs up for sale on Amazon a couple of weeks ago and I’ve sold about ten things. In wrapping them up I have had more than one ‘shit sellotape’ moment. I guess I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and invest in some good quality stationery, if I can be bothered getting up.
Feb 23rd, 2010
Neil G
I was just reading ‘The Problem of Increasing Human Energy, with Special References to the Harnessing of the Sun’s Energy’ by Nikola Tesla, as you do, when I came across this line: “The individual is ephemeral, races and nations come and pass away but man remains”. I wonder which man he was thinking of. There’s no mention of snide rosettes or sacks of Candarel but, you never know.
Feb 23rd, 2010
Mr Larrington
I found myself watching the plucky BRITONS getting knocked out of the Olympic curling by a posse of Canadian werepigs last night (there was no paint drying to be found on any other channel) and, noting that curling is merely bowls for people without lawns, found myself continually mumbling “never trust a crown green bowler under thirty”.
Feb 24th, 2010
Paul F
Capel Curig was indeed a notorious bottle neck in days of yore.
Feb 24th, 2010
Dave Wiggins
Being in the Public Sector, I regularly have to deal with queries from the PHSO (Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman – aka, simply, ‘The Ombudsman’). Indeed, when The Ombudsman (Ms Ann Abraham, triv fans) launched her ‘Principles of Good Adminstration’ back in 2007, I was delighted to be invited to Millbank Tower, for a Westminster soiree, which, ironically, commenced just as the evening sun went down.
Feb 27th, 2010
Sim
Did I dream it or am I going mad?
I’m sure I listened to a HMHB song a while back that was on the theme of a male ‘Sex In The City’ and mentioned spending time in the Hamptons, but Northampton and Southampton are so far apart and as for Wolverhampton, well, don’t go there! Being from Wolverhampton this particularly tickled me and I’ve been trying to find this song again!
Can anyone help me out and let me know the name of this song or just put my mind at rest and tell me I have gone mad!!??
Mar 1st, 2010
Sim
Sorry if my last post is int the wrong place but I couldn’t find where else to put it!
Mar 1st, 2010
dagenham dave
Sim, that doesn’t sound even vaguely familiar but the idea of it does make me laugh.
Mar 1st, 2010
Sim
Dagenham Dave (and everyone esle!), sorry but I’ve just realised after extensive searching that I was indeed going mad and it was actually a Mitchell & Webb Sound sketch that I was thinking of!
Mar 1st, 2010
Mr Larrington
I have just been informed that Dr Larrington, who has visited Iceland on many occasions, is to take her holibobs in Cuba this year. I fear for her on!ons.
Mar 4th, 2010
steve nicholls
This is probably a quite common story, but today’s Blue Badge Abuser story is from the Birmingham Post http://bit.ly/9RRGUc
Mar 4th, 2010
RobJ
Not quite exact, but Fistral Beach was a runner in the big race at Kempton Park last Saturday. Wonder if Ruby Walsh suffered a bout of wave rage after he got unshipped early on?
Mar 5th, 2010
Exxo
Cheers Rob. I missed this one (normally it’s biscuit-relatedness would have meant a heads-up on the Yahoo list) ‘cos I was on Bundesliga 2 service in Germany last weekend, but I notice it goes at the Cheltenham Festival on the Thursday (18th, 1.30pm), and if Ruby’s rage has subsided I’ll be on board with him.
Mar 5th, 2010
Ricardo
HMHB have suddenly appeared on Spotify. Eight of the studio albums plus Editor’s Recommendation EP.
Mar 10th, 2010
Neil G
Ricardo,
I’ve been checking Spotify for HMHB on and off for the last year. Why no Saucy Haulage Ballads, I wonder?
Mar 10th, 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Interestingly, the three albums not available on Spotify (Back Again…, McIntyre… and Four Lads…) are also the three which are not available on eMusic. And both sources have the same solitary EP. I can’t work out what the connection between the “missing” records is. Song rights? Adult content? I can’t imagine what it might be.
Mar 10th, 2010
John Anderson
Teenage Eskimo
Mar 11th, 2010
Neil G
I was looking at a book called Ballads and Songs of Lancashire, specifically for The Radcliffe Otter Hunt, a wonderful poem/song written from the point of view of the otter, who gets killed at the end. It’s the only song I know that’s sung by a dead otter. Anyway, I found this poem, O’er Again by Septimus Tebay. What a wonderful name. I can’t get away from HMHB. Everything seems to remind me of one song or another.
http://www.archive.org/stream/balladssongsofla00harl#page/542/mode/2up
Mar 15th, 2010
Mr Larrington
With the accumulation of fluff, dust and Skog(tm) behind my sofa, I deemed it undesirable to hide behind it when Dave Stewart popped up on “Panorama” last night, so contented myself with running to the kitchen to get another BEER.
Mar 16th, 2010
Precocious Mckenzie
Mickey Quinn, lardy ex-Newcastle and Coventry striker, gave a brief mention to “Junior Kickstart” on TalkSport only yesterday morning…
Mar 28th, 2010
Neil G
I just saw this on a forum.
—–
Check your outbuildings!!!
Garden sheds and other outbuildings are being lived in by immigrants, the number seems to be growing. If you have one or more in your garden do you put them on next years census form?
—-
Naturally enough, I started singing ‘Check your sheds, check your sheds, I think I’ve lost my mind!’
Mar 31st, 2010
Ben
After Brentfords entertaining 3-2 win at Boundary Park on Tuesday took us to 50 points with 9 games to go, I’ve been looking forward to my “walk around Cartmel”
Balkestein played a blinder too Chris.
Apr 1st, 2010
Charles Exford
Happy for you Ben, and thanks for beating Oldham. Mrs.Exford, too, was pleased to hear Olly declare mathematical safety as early as the final week of March – Blackpool were, and of couse are, one place off the play-offs at the time.
Tranmere will be hanging round the trapdoor till May I’m afraid, and up till now I’ve been telling people it’s any two from seven down there. But then you look at the remaining games and suddenly there aren’t that many points to be had. Maybe by a fornight on Tuesday your lads will have their liloes out ?
Apr 1st, 2010
Charles Exford
On the other hand, all I need to do is put a bet on and the opposite immediately transpires, nearly each and every goal a hotly disputed penalty of course.
Apr 2nd, 2010
dagenham dave
Felt very proud yesterday when I managed to get ‘careful now that swan could break your arm’ into a conversation only to be met with ‘did you know they can also drown dogs’.
as well as provided an alternative lyric this has left me looking at swans in new rather disturbing light.
Apr 3rd, 2010
Ricardo
Playing it safe after the Stringy Bob fiasco, I note that Elton John ropes in a Rockabilly Jim for his Giro Drop scam in the latest issue of Viz. Jim doesn’t look as if he’d be much help in a pub quiz team, though perhaps he believes he is needed for the music round.
Apr 5th, 2010
Garth Crooks
I’ve don’t bother washing sieves any more – life’s too short. I just put them straight on the draining board to dry, then give them a bit of a shake – after all, who’s to know?
Apr 5th, 2010
Colin
Morining all and a big up to Chris Rand who made it onto Radio 5 live this morning to give the save radio 6 a big plug.Made me chuckle and stay in bed that bit longer. I have no doubt someone else on here will have full transcripts and punctuaution with acknowledgements for regional dialects but it won’t be me
Apr 6th, 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Er, I don’t think so. I only woke up a moment ago to read this!
Apr 6th, 2010
Swaledale Henry
Re. Radio 5 bit this morn. A lovely way to be brought into Tuesday!
Apr 6th, 2010
Charles Exford
Exxo’s forensic voice analysis machine, amongst other indicators, suggests that it was Chris Shade of the spacebook campaign on the wireless this morning (Sorry Colin, it’s hard to comment on the punctuation but I will be analysing the presenter’s grammar, particularly her use of past tense about which stiffly-worded texts have already been sent).
It’s on iPlayer at 06.52.54 am to 06.57.50 am, a decent slot considering that the election was announced this morning and all that.
They started by playing Rage Against the Machine, then Sheila goes “Half Man Half Biscuit, do you remember them. Their songs were crazy …” All past tense. Even when Chris Shade said “Yes” to the question “Are they still performing?”, and mentioned the very recent gigs, she caried on using the fricking past tense.
Then at the end she repeated that “I loved them, especially [sic] ‘Riots Down in Trumpton’. Dunno why. Just the title I suppose.”
Aargh. Kill, kill, kill, stab, murder and dispatch.
Apr 6th, 2010
Colin
WOW………see above still that confirms what time i woke this morning .
Apr 6th, 2010
Charles Exford
Also confims what side I got out of bed this morning
Done some good business in the meantime so now more chilled & prepared to acknowledge that she occasonally mixed in some present tense. Good face for radio though, Sheila (and Nicky if you’re reading this, that documentary the other night just made me want to go out and find some Christians to persecute).
Apr 6th, 2010
Richard Lovell
There’s a Lev Yashin poster on page 61 of the Metro (Birmingham version, but they’re all the same apart from a few pages aren’t they?) today.
Made me chuckle on the bus this morning. Now if I could just get my brown anorak back…
Apr 9th, 2010
Ben
Driving through Dundee yesterday saw a fleeting glimpse of a poster for a Runrig gig, couldn’t see if there were any special guests.
Apr 10th, 2010
Peter Gandy
Nick Watney has just gone out in 32 in the Masters. Will he come home in 54?
Apr 11th, 2010
Tonto's Expanding Waist Band
Apropos of nothing really… newly-styled, Top Gear… There goes my pub-larf-lingalong “Hair Like James May Blues”…
Apr 14th, 2010
Emerging From Gorse
I’ve got an appointment at Papworth Hospital this afternoon. Not a sudden PBR by any means as I’ve obviously been aware of it for some time.
However, this has led to me noticing something which is an incredibly unusual occurrence – about as likely as hen’s teeth, in fact – a lyrical error by NB57. (One of only a couple of which I’m aware).
I realise it’s pedantic of me in the extreme to mention it, but it is, and always has been, Papworth Hospital, not Papworth General Hospital. I know I’m commenting in the wrong section but as yet there are no lyrics posted for the relevant song and as such nowhere to express my pedantry.
In no way does it impair my enjoyment of said track, however. Still a personal favourite after all these years. Wonder if they’ll mind if I sing it while I’m waiting…
Apr 14th, 2010
a_p
At least your heart’s in the right place…
Apr 14th, 2010
Ricardo
…assuming he hasn’t left it there…
Apr 14th, 2010
Mr Larrington
Yesterday’s edition of R4′ “Word Of Mouth” was all about voice-over artistes. I was inexorably drawn to think of “Open Book” presentatrix Mariella Frostrup.
Apr 14th, 2010
Shirley Dimensions
Sadly I’m going to miss Vashti Bunyan’s interpretation of a Nick Drake number later tonight (BBC Four somewhere between 9:00 and 10:30pm). I’ll be out, as it clashes with my weekly 20 minute ‘all over’ at Tanfastic. Still…every cloud…Guitar Heroes at 11.20pm features ‘weird yodel-rock’ from Focus. Result!
Apr 16th, 2010
John Anderson
From today’s Observer Everyman crossword.
Ignored what Nelson did (6,1,5,3)
Apr 18th, 2010
a_p
Turned a blind eye?
Apr 18th, 2010
John Anderson
Correct. The fountain pen and thesaurus are yours.
Apr 18th, 2010
a_p
Excellent, I knew that Quink ink would find a home some day.
Apr 19th, 2010
s.g.d A Shropshire Lad
I went to watch the mighty Shrewsbury Town’s reserves get gubbed at Walsall tonight – tonight’s attendance 123 and a bastard slip of a sub got their last goal.
And no,I haven’t got anything better to do.
Apr 20th, 2010
John Anderson
10 across in today’s Daily Telegraph crossword :
Clergyman and a ruler in conflict (5,4)
Apr 22nd, 2010
Exxo
Why dumb swine, turning, scores (5, 7)
From yesterday’s Wirral Globe junior cricket crossword.
Apr 22nd, 2010
Ricardo
(Sensing a potential crossword-type thread – Chris? – and desperately trying to link HMHB with cryptic crossword clues, cricket and contributors…)
Charles Exford initially follows an ICC tour party in disarray, finds Australian drama (1,7,8)
Apr 23rd, 2010
John Anderson
@Exxo Wendy Wimbush
@Ricardo A Country Practice
Apr 23rd, 2010
Ben
Ticker-tape got me thinkin’ of Kempes
And Bruno Mendy got me reminiscing on Zaire ’74.
Apr 25th, 2010
Paul F
We’ve had an email in work warning us that we should avoid the swans “down by the lake” on our business park, due to their cygnets having hatched. I’m assuming they could break somebody’s arm.
Apr 29th, 2010
Third Rate Les
Charles Exford initially follows an ICC tour party in disarray, finds Australian drama (1,7,8)
A Country Practice
Apr 29th, 2010
Third Rate Les
Oh, sorry, you already got it.
I’ll get me coat
Apr 29th, 2010
Neil G
@PAUL F
“We’ve had an email in work warning us that we should avoid the swans “down by the lake” on our business park, due to their cygnets having hatched. I’m assuming they could break somebody’s arm.”
How many letters is that?
Apr 30th, 2010
Colin
Are you sure its a lake and not a reservoir? Only they are colder and deeper than you think
Apr 30th, 2010
Peter Gandy
This weekend’s Guardian ‘Let’s Move To’, checks out the Quantocks, and as no one else has mentioned it, at 78 minutes into the Barca/Inter game, Jim Beglin said, “You can’t do that in Europe; you can’t show your studs.”
May 2nd, 2010
Alan Keating
Peter, I heard that about not showing your studs – & had a little giggle too myself!!
May 2nd, 2010
Third Rate Les
I noticed today that Steve McLaren is on the point of winning the Dutch championship with FC Twente, who are from Enschede (however that’s pronounced – I’m with John Peel on that one).
Puts a new meaning to “Ordinary to Enschede”.
May 2nd, 2010
Ben
“Sealed Knot Society let’s see you try and do this one.
Luton Town, York 2010″
May 3rd, 2010
Jim Waterson
Ben, I sent that wording to friends on the morning of our game. Didn’t expect it to come true.
http://thisispop.wordpress.com/2010/05/03/luton-town-v-york-city/
May 4th, 2010
Mr Larrington
Wot Ben said. Typically, that was the only Luton match my boss has been to all season…
May 4th, 2010
tony of crosby
david pleats white slip-on shoes….maine road 1983……how did they not ‘slip-off?!’ (one man pitch invasion).
May 5th, 2010
Ben
I’ve got ‘no bog roll’, it truly is going to be National Shite Day today isn’t it?
May 6th, 2010
Mr Larrington
While watching legions of yoof rushing around Sunderland with ballot boxes, David Dumbledore was heard to comment along the lines that “this could well become an Olympic sport”.
May 7th, 2010
Mr Ed
I was at an acoustic open mic night the other week. When one of the acts started a rendition of “T for Texas, T for Tennessee” I nearly fell off my chair, I had no idea there was a serious original (excuse my savage ignorance). I got a few disapproving looks for my giggles so I guess no one else got the reference.
Still, my mate and I did a couple of Biscuit covers there last night and thankfully one of the crowd of 8 seemed to know of them, although the memories were very past-tense again I’m afraid…
“Half Man Half Biscuit? That takes me back. Didn’t they turn down a telly appearance once because they wanted to watch their football team play?”
Grrr.
May 8th, 2010
tony of crosby
they certainly did…….turned down ‘The Tube’ for Tranmere Rovers back in ’85. It was Friday night, the gate was low and it was raining…….(if my memory serves me well……….)
May 8th, 2010
Charles Exford
Tony – note the quotation marks and the ‘grrr’, which indicates that Ed (like NB57 himself one suspects), got sick of hearing this anecdote some time around mid-1986 and hates it when that’s one of the few stories people ever remember (or write in their past-tense blurbs) about The Lads.
I got exactly the same question the other day after I’d sung “The Light at the End of the Tunnel” to my footy team round a camp fire (we all had to do a song).
“Who’s that by?”
“What happened to them?”
“Their first 2 albums were great”
“Didn’t they …?”
…well if their first two albums were so bloody great why the frick don’t you know that they’re still going strong and putting out wonderful songs?
Finishing our footy tour (7 games in 8 days in the occupied West Bank) this morning, we came past a section of the Israeli segregation wall outside Bethlehem where some crass evangelist had painted “Know hope, know peace.”
Normally I’d have gagged, but on the Monday after mathematical safety has been assured I’m on a lilo, in a sea of alright. As I mentioned above, all I need to do is bet on it (United to win title, Tranmere to be relegated, St. Pauli not to be promoted, etc etc) and it inevitably doesn’t come to pass.
UBI FIDES IBI LUX ET ROBUR
“Who needs Mourinho,
We’ve got our physio.”
May 10th, 2010
tony of crosby
Kinda fell for that one didn’t I?…..a ‘sandy brown’ own goal from me.
May 10th, 2010
Germ
First post from me,been a lurker for a while and a fan for ages.
Now a question: Who the hell is the Bert referred to in “King of Hi-Vis” on CSI:Ambleside?
May 11th, 2010
s.g.d A Shropshire Lad
GERM – it is all here
May 11th, 2010
Simon Garland
As you should doubtless have been aware, last weekend Tranmere Rovers travelled to Stockport in a must win fixture to avoid the drop.
A fine 3 nil victory and Gillingham’s simultaneous disintegration meant that we stayed up.
But the auspices were already there right from the beginning.
It wasn’t in the inflatable balloons, dinosaurs, parrots, condoms or women.
It wasn’t in the copper that the Stockport goalie collided with.
It wasn’t even when at least two people got knocked out cold by Chris Shuker’s wayward practice shots before the game.
Or in how the away fans held onto the ball for about a minute once the third goal had gone in.
And no it wasn’t in the inevitable pitch invasion and crossbar abuse.
Or the bloke walking off with a 3ft advertising hoarding.
We knew things augured well when 15 minutes before kick off there was a dog on the pitch.
And even men with steel hearts love to see a dog on the pitch . . .
May 12th, 2010
Ben
Diagouraga, Diagouraga, yes I’ll be happy, when you have finally signed for The Bees.
May 18th, 2010
John Anderson
I’ve just flown over the Alps but, sadly, didn’t see Robert Powell.
May 20th, 2010
Third Rate Les
“Bono has emergency surgery”.
Perhaps the title really meant “Achtung, Bono”.
May 21st, 2010
Steveojo
During a meeting at work to discuss new properties for our customer in the Cambridgeshire area my boss and I both responded to a question with “May as well be in Ely or St Ives.”
May 21st, 2010
Ben
Heard a Palace spokesman mention ‘Sarah’.
As pure as proverbial driven Max Clifford bullshit.
May 23rd, 2010
Third rate Les
Looks like the bassist out of Slipknot won’t be going to Rome to see the Pope.
Maybe he’s already been. Maybe the rejection from the big man was too much to take…
May 25th, 2010
Richard Lovell
All together now – who the f****ing hell are Slipknot?
May 25th, 2010
Germ
Maybe they should sing “who the f***ing hell [i]were[/i] Slipknot on stage from now on
May 27th, 2010
amococadiz
Cannot possibly quote a lyric as i love nearly every one…my two stand out are..they say plenty more fish …i say amococadiz….and M A U G E R Ivon Mauger robbed my car….unreal…
Anyway just had a weird though for Nigel…hows about using Warburtons…Fletchers.. Hovis. ( .etc ) for a new version called Thems The Bakeries.. !
Jun 1st, 2010
amococadiz
Ronnie..Bell Sniffer ..Irani just mentioned on Talksport about best gigs ever some caller mentioned Biscuit and even Ronnie ( Sniffer ) knew Alan Brazil was mentioned in one of their songs…and what a song
Jun 1st, 2010
RobJ
Colleague proofreading something this morning:
“Is it ‘Deal or No Deal’ , or Deal or No Deals?”
Me: “There’s no ‘s’. It’s the Book of Revelation”
Jun 3rd, 2010
Jan
Just wide awake in the early hours — heard the world service talking about Benedict XVI’s visit impending visit to Cyprus and his security staff. Yup, the very words ‘papal entourage’ were uttered. Almost worth that early alarm call!
Jun 4th, 2010
Mr Larrington
Obviously with the World Cup in full flow PBR’s are thick on the ground. Mick McCarthy’s comment early in the Paraguay-Italy match concerning putting one’s foot up in Europe was very close to the mark.
The bits of France-Uruguay which didn’t sent me to sleep were largely spent telling Raymond Domenech to get back in his technical area.
Jun 15th, 2010
Third Rate Les
The “G” is for a captain who’s on 150 grand a week and reckons he prefers playing in the middle…
Jun 18th, 2010
tony of crosby
sorry, got all that wrong…..shall we start again?!
Jun 19th, 2010
dagenham dave
currently watching the Spain v Honduras match, the Honduran captain should remember ‘The S is the suggestion that I should show a card to an opponent by a player who’s been awarded a free kick, he himself is more in danger of getting one for that’.
The inane Jim Beglin wasn’t impressed either.
Jun 21st, 2010
Paul F
Reading Jonathan Wilson’s “Inverting the Pyramid” he quotes Arrigo Sacchi saying that when he was a small boy he used to love watching Honved.
Jun 23rd, 2010
Mr Larrington
H is for handball, which has to be intentional, a fact which seems to have escaped just about every pundit and colemantator on the wireless-with-pictures for the past fortnight.
Jun 25th, 2010
Vendor of Quack Nostrums
What’s Bloemfontein if you’re not there?
Sky Sports News showing a group of England fans this morning in preparation for the Germany game. Singing ‘England ’til I die’ whilst proudly parading a Cross of St. George emblazoned with the name ‘Chatteris’.
Jun 27th, 2010
Chesneywold
I’m a contestant on a new daytime TV quiz that’s recording this week, and what with all the excitement and kerfuffle (“please bring 8 outfits”!?) it didn’t occur to me til today to wonder who would be hosting.
Knowing these things always leak out, my work colleague decided to google it.
In a sort of “imagine the worst case scenario and the reality must be better self-defence mechanism”, I was voicing the possibility of Bradley Walsh while secretly imagining a newsreader, (much like voicing England losing 2-1, while actually imagining them actually losing on penalties), only to hear my colleague say in an improbable best worst-case-scenario sort of “and Frank Lampard has equalised!…” way, “It could be Alexander Armstrong…” And just as brief improbable hope was snuffed out by the words “It’s not been given”, so were my half-baked dreams cruelly extinguished with 6 crushing words:
“No it isn’t, it’s Nick Knowles”.
As this link would seem to confirm, hope was indeed disallowed.
And I have to try to be cheery and win myself some cash in the presence of N*** fucking K******.
Jun 28th, 2010
Mr Larrington
I was deeply disappointed that swarthy Portuguese centre-half Ricardo Costa failed to plant a kiss on the ref’s forehead after being dismissed last night.
Jun 30th, 2010
Mr Larrington
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/10533376.stm
Boom, boom, boom.
Jul 7th, 2010
Neil G
This list is getting long.
I was watching the film Still Crazy on BBC4 last week. It’s about a rock band from the 70s who get back together in the noughties. Bill Nighy plays the lead singer, Ray Somethingorother. In one scene he was psyching himself up by looking in the mirror and saying positive things to himself, one of which was ‘You’re the man, Ray’. I wondered if the writer had perhaps heard 4AD3DCD and sneaked that line in.
Jul 7th, 2010
Peter Gandy
Fabien Cancellara on the rollers prior to the Tour Prologue on Saturday, almost certainly listening to ‘Lock up your mountain bikes’ through his headphones – and then yesterday leading Andy Schleck over the cobbles to take time out of Contador.
Jul 7th, 2010
Shirley Dimensions
Entering ‘on a lilo in a sea of alright’ into yahoo.co.uk web search yields an interesting first suggested link to ‘Guardian Soulmates’. OK so he may be lying about his age and starsign, but the rest of the profile is NB57 to a tee! Can anyone confirm that he is indeed 5′ 6″?
Jul 9th, 2010
Charles Exford
Ha ha, working temporarily at L’pool Uni, sharing a PC, just realised my pompous, snooty colleague has noticed I was looking at a bloke’s Soulmates page – thank you Shirley – but I don’t care.
Errm anyway, NB57 looks about 6 foot. And it’s his birthday in the next few days but I can never remember when.
Jul 9th, 2010
Charles Exford
Sorry ignore that about googling, do what Shirley said, sorry.
Jul 9th, 2010
Shirley Dimensions
I must say I’m quite excited Charles! This is certainly the closest I’ve come thus far in my quest to ascertain the exact online dating sites that NB57 uses. Hopefully I should be able to confirm his height in Holmfirth, (or rather at the Holmfirth gig, as I assume his height in Holmfirth will remain essentially unaltered be he there or somewhere else) as I’ve dilligently poured over the staggeringly complex, yet deeply intriguing ‘How To Measure A Celebrities [sic] Height’ courtesy http://www.celebheights.com. Rest assured THMHBLP will be the first to know of any imminent revelations (unless Hello! offer me cash).
Jul 9th, 2010
Neil G
Er, it’s ‘poring’. Sorry.
Jul 10th, 2010
Mr Galbraith
Having moved house recently, I have just received my new annual water bill. Unfortunately South West Water have seen to it that I wasn’t pleasantly surprised.
Jul 15th, 2010
Charles Exford
Ha, I knew it would happen – bloke who’s doing the PA for a footy-and-music event we’re organising in 3 weeks has just asked if he can bring his mates who are “very friendly and good with sound & lights, etc.”
So basically we thought about it, we listened to the song again, and we said “NO.”
http://duncanworth.com/republica2/
Jul 16th, 2010
Germ
Extremely-tenuous-link time!
Watched a TV show called “The Victorian Pharmacy” last night whilst enjoying my 2nd Bunnahabain (highly recommended single malt).The participants were extracting quinine from what is often called “Peruvian bark” ,coincidence or just being anal (and maybe a little mashed)?
Can’t figure out why they’d sing about an antimalarial drug in “Little in the way of sunshine” but they do indeed sing “I’ve used all my powdered Peruvian bark”.
Jul 16th, 2010
Nigel E
Just been watching the BBC news and the 3rd qualifying round for the champions league came up. If Linfield win their game they could possibly play Jeunesse Esch in the next round (no ‘D’ before Esch tho’). So I checked on the UEFA website and no ‘D’ in the team name. 10 mins later flicking through the channels and on the NME channel, a whole half hour on ‘New Noise’!!!!! Liquid Greek anyone???
Jul 16th, 2010
Jan
Fresh from the aether this morning — couldn’t help but give a little grin. This on the back of having watched Zulu within the last three days….
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-10727911
Jul 23rd, 2010
Dave F.
A step up from Farnborough:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sylvan_Richardson
Jul 27th, 2010
Ricardo
This place recently opened just round the corner from chez Ricardo. As it is located above a shopping centre, on the first floor overlooking the main road, it gives me the chance to serenade Mrs Ricardo with “Look up my betrothed…” each time we walk past it. She finds this, as I’m sure you can imagine, increasingly hilarious with each rendition.
Jul 27th, 2010
Neil G
Not a PBR, I’m afraid, but very interesting. Gez’s HMHB website now has some sessions on it here that are not on the Peel Sessions download on this site. There’s a very good session from the Royal Festival Hall in 1998 – very good sound quality (and I’m told the light show was excellent). There’s also a session with King of Rome and I’m Throwing Rice as well as the recording of Legend In My Time that was made for John Peel’s birthday. Good stuff. Oh, and there’s an acoustic session recorded while on the way to a gig, from a Johnny Walker programme.
Jul 27th, 2010
Ben
My eye was caught as the credits to Shooting Stars rolled, and was amused to see these crazy-cats responsible for the graphics*
http://halfmanhalfpixel.co.uk/
*I wonder if they were fined by the warden?
Jul 27th, 2010
Shirley Dimensions
An invoice has just landed on my desk for a quantity of Jelutong. It’s £16.96 per square metre timber fans!
Aug 2nd, 2010
Ben
Whilst perusing the as always limited music selection in a motorway services today (Durham, fact fans) I turned my back on ‘The Best of Nazareth’.
Aug 5th, 2010
Germ
Just found this on YouTube.Ricky Gervais,Carl Pilkington and “the other one” talking about HMHB :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvcmdPW8WHA&feature=related
Aug 13th, 2010
Peter Gandy
A triple PBR in this months Observer Food Monthly. On page 19 is a picture of Thomasina (not quite Hermione but not far short) Miers with:
a) a Pashley with a basket, which has
b) a hub dynamo, which is almost certainly made by
c) Sturmey Archer.
I’m not sure she actually rides it as the saddle is set far too low: especially with the platform soles she is wearing. Someone must have chosen it as a fashion staement which makes Nigel’s reference absolutely spot on.
Aug 20th, 2010
Mr Larrington
With my bike geek hat on, in this day and age a hub dynamo is more likely to be made by Shimano or, if one is wealthy, Schmidt Maschinenbau of Tübingen.
I spent some of my 2006 redundancy payment on a couple of Schmidts.
Aug 20th, 2010
Peter Gandy
@Mr Larrington
I’m still claiming the three. http://www.pashley.co.uk/products/princess-sovereign.html
Aug 20th, 2010
Shirley Dimensions
I love The Schmidts…my favourite track is ‘Rubber Ring’.
Aug 20th, 2010
Dave Betts
Gervais clip:
‘Comedy novelty band’ is it Merchant? I’m fuming now.
Aug 20th, 2010
John Anderson
@ Shirley Dimensions
I like Frankly Herr Shankly and Wilhelm It Was Really Nothing.
Aug 20th, 2010
John Anderson
A Russian Putsch And The Land Is Ours.
I’ll get me coat…..
Aug 20th, 2010
Shirley Dimensions
@John last one’s a beauty!
Aug 20th, 2010
Shirley Dimensions
I won’t stoop to ‘Pretty Goebbels Make Graves’
Aug 20th, 2010
Chris The Siteowner
Stop this before it turns into Twitter and we start putting hashtags on things
Aug 20th, 2010
Jan
Round Britain Quiz question just involved Dukla Prague…
Aug 21st, 2010
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