For the first night of Paris-Brest-Paris in 2007, I had the first verse of “Our Tune” on permanent loop in my head. With some 90 miles to go, a combination of lack of sleep and Pro-Plus overdose meant I /did/ end up in the ambulance…

I was just listening to the 5Live sports news and they were interviewing the Cardiff Blues (Rugby Union) coach, Dai Young.

Ha ha, yes, if Friday’s Hoggart column was full of lanyards, then Saturday’s state-of-the-nation rant made me think of a sort of National Shite Day in which the narrator _does_ want to go to Cuba. Or something.

Meanwhile, can we post here when non-HMHB original HMHB lyrics get quoted in the media ? Well, here goes then ! The first episiode of BBC 4′s Folk America last Friday was always likely to be one for the Biscuiteers to savour: how many of the great early blues tunes or lyrics oft-quoted by our lads would be featured ? I guessed at least several, Mrs. Exford said probably a couple or more, and we weren’t disappointed.

After about 18 mins & again more extensively on about 55 mins (of a
one-hour show) we had Blind Lemon Jefferson singing ‘See that my
Grave’s kept Clean’ (indeed we saw almost those precise noble words
inscribed on his tombstone).

Then there were the much earlier spirituals, not really referred to in
the narrative but just played in snatches in the background – after
about 19.5 mins we had a snatch of ‘Old Time Religion’, and after 34
minutes ‘Wade in the Water’ (thankfully not the relatively recent Eva Cassidy version).

There was a good few minutes about the Brakeman (from Tyrolean Knockabout) himself, yodelling Jimmie Rodgers, on 50-53 mins, including a few bars of something that I think had a heavy influence on the yodelling bit at the end of a ‘Country practice’ (53 mins or so). Freeze frame if you’d like to to read the trackside memorial plaque commemorating Rodgers as the founder of C & W.

I don’t think we can expect as many Biscuit influences in future
episodes,and it’s only on your i-player til 9pm this Friday 30th Jan (how
appropriate – the lads exact onstage time) so check it, innit yea ?

And can we also post here when radio DJ’s refer to the lyrics after playing a HMHB number ? “Aintree0252 from the mailing list points out that after `Joy Division oven gloves’ was given airtime on the Radcliffe & Maconie show last Wednesday night (21st)

And just to add a twist to the tale, Aintree025 tells us, Gordon Burns (he of local news in the northwest, Krypton factor, etc) was guesting on said programme, when it was pointed out to him that he featured in the lyrics.

Track played, and Burns seemingly presented with a copy of Achtung Bono as a memento. Available on the iPlayer thingy, Aintree 025 tells us, until this coming Wednesday 28 Jan – Fast forward until about 1 hr 20 mins for the relevant bit.

Cheers,

Exxo

Apologies Chris – I realised the difference between the pages but just thought I was replying to a post in ‘media’ as Ben had mentioned a Guardian column …. silly me, must try harder.

You’ve given a nice precise definition of the distinction there (and who would expect any less from a technical journalist ?) but I still can’t decide where to post my next offering …. if I’m quoting _myself_, doing some comic verse on 606 on 5 Live, flattering-by-imitation-but-not-quoting the Biscuit ? It could be in PBR’s, it could be in the thread for the song itself (Referee’s Alphabet) or it could be in the media…. I’m guessing you’d prefer it in media ?

Awkward Exford

Not sure if this counts, but…

I was walking to work this morning and “Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite” was playing on the MP3 player.

I came to a crossing and at the exact second that the line “Cats, Phantom, Starlight, Les” played, a bus cruised past carrying a large advert for Les Miserables.

More than just a PBR?

The rubber-faced irritant Phil Cool played in Bridgwater last month — http://www.bridgwaterartscentre.co.uk/WhatsonJan09.htm. Wonder if he took time out to check out the nearby Quantocks?

I overheard my wife on the phone recently (a non-HMHB fan obviously) say somone was up shit creek, and was not only without a paddle, but “didn’t even have a canoe”. The next day a German work colleague asked if I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel (economically), and if so, was it an oncoming train?

Sometime ago, Number One Daughter was invited to Avebury at Halloween. She came home full of tales about the folk she had met, and handed me a present, a little notebook made from handmade paper. “Oh, lovely,” I cried, “but why this? What is it?” “Mother,” she retorted, “I’m shocked. Don’t you know a quaint notepad for weekend pagans when you see one?”

Oh, and, should Mr Jan and I be surprised by an invitation on the hoof, so to speak, with both of the inviting couple right there, grinning away as if they’ve just handed us a ticket to paradise, all one of us has to do is say “That’s sure to be good” to let the other one know precisely how they feel.

my girlfriend recently described some new singer-songwriter or other as “the new Nick Drake”.

Bob Wilson was on the “Today” programme this morning. The BBC shouldn’t spring that stuff on me when I’m driving to work – it could cause an accident…

Whenever I notice a Biscuit-referenced horse running I always have a small wager, especially if the racecourse is also referenced in lyrics, e.g. “Mr. Ed” ran at Hereford recently (and did actually cross the line firest, but unfortunately minus his rider).

Anyway, just I won a few quid on “Classic Swain” at Newton Abbott. Sorry Fredorarci I should have contacted you with the tip. Didn’t have to wait long for them to weigh in either.

Just been sent this by the Guardian via email: ( Sorry for the cut and past job as the efffect is better on the email)/

The Guardian and Observer guides to Performing
Part one: Acting, Part two: Singing
(3 characters)

ACT 1
The GUARDIAN and OBSERVER enter stage left, and join YOU – already on stage, reading from a script and practising lines.

SCENE 1

YOU
Guardian and Observer! – what are you doing here? …what are those?

GUARDIAN
(dramatically)

Oh these are for you – two very special guides to aid you in all aspects of your trade. The first to help you act with confidence, passion and skill.

OBSERVER
(sings)

And the second to help you sing with clarity, like the lark.

GUARDIAN & OBSERVER place the guides down in front of you.

YOU
How do you know all this?

GUARDIAN
We have learnt from the very best – from RADA, the Royal Academy of Music and a host of stars from stage and screen.

YOU
And what do I owe you for these guides? What do you want from me?

GUARDIAN
We want nothing extra from you – consider them our gift.

CURTAIN

Hi Jan

Just to let you know, May is bang in the middle of Asparagus season.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/mostof_asparagus.shtml

Haven’t you been watching all those TV culinary shows?
They’ve got the stuff coming out of their ears, along with scallops, which appears to be trendy at the moment.

And as A_P points out, there appears to be numerous cottage industry farmers in Somerset, who are in the the joke. No idea why.

Let’s face it, ‘asparagus next right’ signs are going to cause all kinds of nasty accidents and the local constabulary have probably been quite justified in removing them all.

You had me wondering if Chigley was syndicated in the States (was it ?) till I saw that the title had been added this side of the pond.

(***IRRELEVANT & SPURIOUS REST-OF-POST ALERT***STOP READING NOW IF YOU VALUE BREVITY AND RELEVANCE)

…but the uncanny thing for me reading the full story from the Boston site is that in the sentence “the collision happened near the Government Center M.B.T.A. stop” you’ve got PBRs (personal Boston references) from my 2 favourite Boston acts, Jonathan Richman, who sang about

“Rockin’ at the Government Center,
to make the secretaries feel better,
as they stick the stamps on the letter”

and the Dropkick Murphys, who sang about

….the story of a big ol’ skinhead
On a tragic and fateful day
Put 10 cents in his pocket, kissed his wife and family
And went to ride on the M.B.T.A

I should make up strange “connections” competitions for the radio & then get people I know to phone in and win them. Oh wait a minute, I’ve done that.

Asparagus lovers strike back:

A woman was allegedly assaulted in Germany after a motorist accused her of overcharging for white asparagus.

Authorities are looking for the man after he verbally abused the 24-year-old before punching her in the face and threatening to set his attack dog on her, Reuters reports.

Police spokesman Dietmar Keck said: “The motorist said her prices were totally over the top.”

White asparagus, sometimes known as edible ivory or white gold, reportedly fluctuates in price according to the season, from 80p to nearly £9 per kilogram.

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/odd/a156435/woman-assaulted-over-asparagus-prices.html

A missed opportunity here. The headline of this story should have been something like, “Bickering Totnes constituents are not being fair, says money-grabbing Tory MP”.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/may/21/mps-expenses-anthony-steen

My colleague just announced ‘Talvin Singh is following us on Twitter’.

“Are these my ultimate pyjamas
Is this my final dressing gown”
Any ideas as to the root of this? Its been bugging me since I first heard it. I thought perhaps from some war poet, or similar but much time on google and talking to ‘poemmy’ friends has yeilded ZERO!

Wrong Grave…

Let’s complain!

There was, apparently, a piece on Blue Badge Abusers on the BBC’s Breakfast prog this morning.

Overheard in the builder’s merchant this morning: “Excuse me, is this your Sadolin?”

Had to beat a hasty retreat and shriek with laughter once in the car.

Check out the upper right corner of the Princess Di pic (7th one down)

Tonight on C4 was a repeat of Celebrity Come Dine with Me, a show were a number of ‘celebrities’ go round to each others houses to be cooked a meal.

This edition involved Paul Ross with a shot of him entering what he undoubtedly calls his ‘gaff’. No fridge-freezers were in evidence though. It had ridiculously low doors for some reason.

I finally got the chance to sing “You can’t put your foot up in Europe” in a stadium on the ‘Nent last weekend. I was once booked for said offence in Germany but it was 10 years ago and well before the song was released.

So it’s last weekend in Lviv, Ukraine, and my team had already been knocked out of this tournament for supporters’ teams from across Europe, and we’re watching the final, the local Ukrainian fans’ team v. a so-called Glasgow Rangers fans’ team.

Not only are the ‘Gers unpopular cos they’re clearly not a real fans’ team, but are full of pro-standard ringers, but also ‘cos they’re wingeing and moaning all the time.

So one of them, who we’d already been goading a fair amount from the stands, turns to the bench, moaning about being booked, and his coach shouted back:

“You can’t put your foot up like that in Europe”

So I gave the entire stadium a rousing rendition of the whole thing, since I was well, getting a bit bevviedon some rather special local ales at the time. Bemused looks all round, including from my own lads, but worth it for me.

I got loads of pressies from the lovely Bohemians fans from Prague, who were in our group at the tourny, including an ace sticker: “First Ultras on Mars”, it says in Czech, I kid you not. A man in a BPHK may well be chucking said sticker at NB57 at a stage near you soon … actually I have a very rare 1960′s Dukla v. Honved programme I’ve been meaning to give him for a while too so I’ll parcel it all up for Bath ….

Meanwhile off to play in a fans’ tourny in Italy next week, where a dog on the pitch is pretty much guaranteed every year … happy days.

Exxo

@Mr Larrington

They also spoke about the last time England beat Australia at Lords – in 1934 and led by Hedley Verity.

So Mr Larrington, you won’t be joining in, in sympathy, with the now ubiquitous blubbing into a tissue scene?

I woke up oddly early on Saturday having struggled to get to sleep, vaguely wondering if I should go for a run (I am training for a distance race), turned over to look at my clock, and it was 4:06. That freaked me out a bit.

Richmond Park had to stand in for the Ogwen Lake, but still…

Driving home down the M11 yesterday evening, I was just about to overtake a Berlin-registered lorry when “Little In The Way Of Sunshine” started playing.

The lorry in question had a big smiley sun painted on the back.

Spook!

Not sure if this counts or no, but I keep driving past a church in a village before a motorway junction, attached to the church is a sign that says:

“last services before the motorway”

for some reason I keep thinking, asparagus next left.

The band play Roadwater, Exmoor, and what follows? An increase in the Marsh Fritillary population according to the latest edition of the local newspaper.I suspect the article was roundly ignored.

Talking of newspapers, did you catch this Saturday’s Guardian? A free copy of Jackie magazine! Sadly no mention of Kendo Nagasaki.

Sun?

Was that an unreleased follow up?

Must be worth a bob or two.

Wow!
The Eva Cassidy Story.

She wrote some songs that no one liked
Until she died.
And that was only because Terry Wogan played them.
The End.

And, don’t, repeat don’t, get me started on Nick Drake.
He committed suicide because he was depressed, because no one liked his music.
Oh! the irony now.

The singer from the Goombay Dance Band was in the line up on Buzzcocks last night. And he still looks like Alan Brazil.

A bit of a weak one, but I knew a thoroughly miserable bastard called Frank, and I don’t doubt that at some point he went through a state of depression in his bedroom.
(Sealclubbing)

Double whammy from tonight’s Emmerdale… Firstly, the red-haired strumpet asked her son if he had had “a row on New Year’s Eve”, then there was clearly some ‘darts in soap opera’ action in the closing scenes…no-one seemed to be scoring.

Ever since I was a Penniless Student Oaf, I’ve blithely assumed that the cast of characters in “The Trumpton Riots” actually live in Trumpton, to the extent that I flew into a big stabby rage at John Humphrys last night when, on “Celebrity Masterbonce”, he claimed that Dr Mopp and Mrs Honeyman come from Camberwick Green. So this morning I consulted teh Interwebs prior to firing off a Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells at the BBC, only to discover that he’s right.

I feel dirty now.

Multi-talented Sinnitta – she yet again highlighted the irony in those lyrics last night on the Ice Dancing programme.

having loved HMHB since i was 12 i thought i’d died and gone to heaven when Pato told me he was engineering their next album, CSI.
I was invited along during a recording session and was desperate to finish work on time to make sure i got there, sometimes it’s cool being a mate of the bloke…
from behind the counter in Micro Music i saw an old lady collapse outside and ran out to try and help her but there was nothing i could do, she died from a heart attack as i held her.
By the time i arrived at the studio my head was a mess, i just sat and stared for most of the time and the band must have thought i was weerd.
What should have been the greatest time i ever had turned into one of my saddest memories and all i could think was
“We stand around in bus queues and die in midweek.”
This is 100% true. Sad but true. Life plays cruel tricks sometimes…

Intriguing story SMS. Can definitely hear the Ken Hancock bird noises influence at work in your King of Rock’n'Roll.

Hope this link works. The article ticked so many boxes for me.

My wife’s going to the Winter Olympics later this month (as a ticket executive not a competitor, I hasten to add) which means that I will become a Nordic ski widower.

But she’s still my downhill lady.

HMHB in my opinion do bring people closer together. If I wear a HMHB t-shirt to a gig I invariably have complete strangers approach me and either smile and nod or as happened at a Wedding Present gig shake my hand.
Recently whilst in the queue in Waitrose I was wearing my HMHB hat, the bloke in front of me smiled and whilst packing his shopping said “I hate Nerys Hughes”, confused the woman on the till no end. Just before he left he told me that he was in a band that supported HMHB once, didn’t say who they were though.
This post does appear to indicate that I’m always wearing some HMHB clothing – I don’t.

Every time I heard this on the news my mind jumped to a certain line from ‘Them’s The Vagaries’

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/8484116.stm

Something may definitely be afoot the Guardian magazine. Last week’s property section featured Wantage and this week it’s Machynlleth.

I’m fully expecting articles on Bridgwater, Chatteris and Capel Curig to appear in coming weeks..

All this Winter Olympics coverage brings to mind ‘Malayan Jelutong’…

although seeing what’s happened to one participant I’m not sure I would ‘like to have a go at that’…..

Dagenham Dave

I was thinking about ‘steering a luge to new dimensions.’ After the weekend’s events in Canada, however, I’ve now decided against it.

It’s about as prosaic as a PBR can get, but I drove through Capel Curig today, traffic was light.

I saw this:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/02/17/big_screen_entertainment/

and immediately thought of “National Shite Day”. Sadly the culprit turned out to be a 40-year-old unemployed man in the Black Sea port of Novorossiysk rather than a junior employee.

Just got an easy jet back from Amsterdam.

John, I’m suffering with you in terms of wasted football trips. Thankfully as ‘an M6ster’ I wasn’t waylaid by North Staffs Police after a turgid game at the Bescott

Ben, whilst discussing our 1970′s holidays at Merseyside Christian Youth Camps in Abererch, North Wales, an associate of mine asked if I remembered “them (sic) bottle-necks at Capel Curig”. He claims never to have heard the said track, but I remain unconvinced.

I think from when I was about 8 years old in the early 70s the phrase “Bottle Neck at Capel Curig” was continually emblazoned on my consciousness, from the warning signs on the A5.

I was just reading ‘The Problem of Increasing Human Energy, with Special References to the Harnessing of the Sun’s Energy’ by Nikola Tesla, as you do, when I came across this line: “The individual is ephemeral, races and nations come and pass away but man remains”. I wonder which man he was thinking of. There’s no mention of snide rosettes or sacks of Candarel but, you never know.

Capel Curig was indeed a notorious bottle neck in days of yore.

Did I dream it or am I going mad?

I’m sure I listened to a HMHB song a while back that was on the theme of a male ‘Sex In The City’ and mentioned spending time in the Hamptons, but Northampton and Southampton are so far apart and as for Wolverhampton, well, don’t go there! Being from Wolverhampton this particularly tickled me and I’ve been trying to find this song again!

Can anyone help me out and let me know the name of this song or just put my mind at rest and tell me I have gone mad!!??

Sim, that doesn’t sound even vaguely familiar but the idea of it does make me laugh.

I have just been informed that Dr Larrington, who has visited Iceland on many occasions, is to take her holibobs in Cuba this year. I fear for her on!ons.

Not quite exact, but Fistral Beach was a runner in the big race at Kempton Park last Saturday. Wonder if Ruby Walsh suffered a bout of wave rage after he got unshipped early on?

HMHB have suddenly appeared on Spotify. Eight of the studio albums plus Editor’s Recommendation EP.

Interestingly, the three albums not available on Spotify (Back Again…, McIntyre… and Four Lads…) are also the three which are not available on eMusic. And both sources have the same solitary EP. I can’t work out what the connection between the “missing” records is. Song rights? Adult content? I can’t imagine what it might be.

I was looking at a book called Ballads and Songs of Lancashire, specifically for The Radcliffe Otter Hunt, a wonderful poem/song written from the point of view of the otter, who gets killed at the end. It’s the only song I know that’s sung by a dead otter. Anyway, I found this poem, O’er Again by Septimus Tebay. What a wonderful name. I can’t get away from HMHB. Everything seems to remind me of one song or another.

http://www.archive.org/stream/balladssongsofla00harl#page/542/mode/2up

Mickey Quinn, lardy ex-Newcastle and Coventry striker, gave a brief mention to “Junior Kickstart” on TalkSport only yesterday morning…

After Brentfords entertaining 3-2 win at Boundary Park on Tuesday took us to 50 points with 9 games to go, I’ve been looking forward to my “walk around Cartmel”

Balkestein played a blinder too Chris.

On the other hand, all I need to do is put a bet on and the opposite immediately transpires, nearly each and every goal a hotly disputed penalty of course.

Playing it safe after the Stringy Bob fiasco, I note that Elton John ropes in a Rockabilly Jim for his Giro Drop scam in the latest issue of Viz. Jim doesn’t look as if he’d be much help in a pub quiz team, though perhaps he believes he is needed for the music round.

Morining all and a big up to Chris Rand who made it onto Radio 5 live this morning to give the save radio 6 a big plug.Made me chuckle and stay in bed that bit longer. I have no doubt someone else on here will have full transcripts and punctuaution with acknowledgements for regional dialects but it won’t be me

Re. Radio 5 bit this morn. A lovely way to be brought into Tuesday!

WOW………see above still that confirms what time i woke this morning .

There’s a Lev Yashin poster on page 61 of the Metro (Birmingham version, but they’re all the same apart from a few pages aren’t they?) today.

Made me chuckle on the bus this morning. Now if I could just get my brown anorak back…

Nick Watney has just gone out in 32 in the Masters. Will he come home in 54?

I’ve got an appointment at Papworth Hospital this afternoon. Not a sudden PBR by any means as I’ve obviously been aware of it for some time.

However, this has led to me noticing something which is an incredibly unusual occurrence – about as likely as hen’s teeth, in fact – a lyrical error by NB57. (One of only a couple of which I’m aware).

I realise it’s pedantic of me in the extreme to mention it, but it is, and always has been, Papworth Hospital, not Papworth General Hospital. I know I’m commenting in the wrong section but as yet there are no lyrics posted for the relevant song and as such nowhere to express my pedantry.

In no way does it impair my enjoyment of said track, however. Still a personal favourite after all these years. Wonder if they’ll mind if I sing it while I’m waiting…

…assuming he hasn’t left it there…

Sadly I’m going to miss Vashti Bunyan’s interpretation of a Nick Drake number later tonight (BBC Four somewhere between 9:00 and 10:30pm). I’ll be out, as it clashes with my weekly 20 minute ‘all over’ at Tanfastic. Still…every cloud…Guitar Heroes at 11.20pm features ‘weird yodel-rock’ from Focus. Result!

Turned a blind eye?

Excellent, I knew that Quink ink would find a home some day.

10 across in today’s Daily Telegraph crossword :

Clergyman and a ruler in conflict (5,4)

(Sensing a potential crossword-type thread – Chris? – and desperately trying to link HMHB with cryptic crossword clues, cricket and contributors…)

Charles Exford initially follows an ICC tour party in disarray, finds Australian drama (1,7,8)

Ticker-tape got me thinkin’ of Kempes
And Bruno Mendy got me reminiscing on Zaire ’74.

Charles Exford initially follows an ICC tour party in disarray, finds Australian drama (1,7,8)

A Country Practice

@PAUL F
“We’ve had an email in work warning us that we should avoid the swans “down by the lake” on our business park, due to their cygnets having hatched. I’m assuming they could break somebody’s arm.”

How many letters is that?

This weekend’s Guardian ‘Let’s Move To’, checks out the Quantocks, and as no one else has mentioned it, at 78 minutes into the Barca/Inter game, Jim Beglin said, “You can’t do that in Europe; you can’t show your studs.”

I noticed today that Steve McLaren is on the point of winning the Dutch championship with FC Twente, who are from Enschede (however that’s pronounced – I’m with John Peel on that one).

Puts a new meaning to “Ordinary to Enschede”.

Ben, I sent that wording to friends on the morning of our game. Didn’t expect it to come true.

http://thisispop.wordpress.com/2010/05/03/luton-town-v-york-city/

david pleats white slip-on shoes….maine road 1983……how did they not ‘slip-off?!’ (one man pitch invasion).

While watching legions of yoof rushing around Sunderland with ballot boxes, David Dumbledore was heard to comment along the lines that “this could well become an Olympic sport”.

they certainly did…….turned down ‘The Tube’ for Tranmere Rovers back in ’85. It was Friday night, the gate was low and it was raining…….(if my memory serves me well……….)

Kinda fell for that one didn’t I?…..a ‘sandy brown’ own goal from me.

GERM – it is all here

Diagouraga, Diagouraga, yes I’ll be happy, when you have finally signed for The Bees.

“Bono has emergency surgery”.
Perhaps the title really meant “Achtung, Bono”.

Heard a Palace spokesman mention ‘Sarah’.

As pure as proverbial driven Max Clifford bullshit.

All together now – who the f****ing hell are Slipknot?

Cannot possibly quote a lyric as i love nearly every one…my two stand out are..they say plenty more fish …i say amococadiz….and M A U G E R Ivon Mauger robbed my car….unreal…

Anyway just had a weird though for Nigel…hows about using Warburtons…Fletchers.. Hovis. ( .etc ) for a new version called Thems The Bakeries.. !

Colleague proofreading something this morning:

“Is it ‘Deal or No Deal’ , or Deal or No Deals?”

Me: “There’s no ‘s’. It’s the Book of Revelation”

Obviously with the World Cup in full flow PBR’s are thick on the ground. Mick McCarthy’s comment early in the Paraguay-Italy match concerning putting one’s foot up in Europe was very close to the mark.

The bits of France-Uruguay which didn’t sent me to sleep were largely spent telling Raymond Domenech to get back in his technical area.

sorry, got all that wrong…..shall we start again?!

Reading Jonathan Wilson’s “Inverting the Pyramid” he quotes Arrigo Sacchi saying that when he was a small boy he used to love watching Honved.

What’s Bloemfontein if you’re not there?

Sky Sports News showing a group of England fans this morning in preparation for the Germany game. Singing ‘England ’til I die’ whilst proudly parading a Cross of St. George emblazoned with the name ‘Chatteris’.

I was deeply disappointed that swarthy Portuguese centre-half Ricardo Costa failed to plant a kiss on the ref’s forehead after being dismissed last night.

This list is getting long.

I was watching the film Still Crazy on BBC4 last week. It’s about a rock band from the 70s who get back together in the noughties. Bill Nighy plays the lead singer, Ray Somethingorother. In one scene he was psyching himself up by looking in the mirror and saying positive things to himself, one of which was ‘You’re the man, Ray’. I wondered if the writer had perhaps heard 4AD3DCD and sneaked that line in.

Entering ‘on a lilo in a sea of alright’ into yahoo.co.uk web search yields an interesting first suggested link to ‘Guardian Soulmates’. OK so he may be lying about his age and starsign, but the rest of the profile is NB57 to a tee! Can anyone confirm that he is indeed 5′ 6″?

Sorry ignore that about googling, do what Shirley said, sorry.

Er, it’s ‘poring’. Sorry.

Ha, I knew it would happen – bloke who’s doing the PA for a footy-and-music event we’re organising in 3 weeks has just asked if he can bring his mates who are “very friendly and good with sound & lights, etc.”

So basically we thought about it, we listened to the song again, and we said “NO.”

http://duncanworth.com/republica2/

Just been watching the BBC news and the 3rd qualifying round for the champions league came up. If Linfield win their game they could possibly play Jeunesse Esch in the next round (no ‘D’ before Esch tho’). So I checked on the UEFA website and no ‘D’ in the team name. 10 mins later flicking through the channels and on the NME channel, a whole half hour on ‘New Noise’!!!!! Liquid Greek anyone???

A step up from Farnborough:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sylvan_Richardson

Not a PBR, I’m afraid, but very interesting. Gez’s HMHB website now has some sessions on it here that are not on the Peel Sessions download on this site. There’s a very good session from the Royal Festival Hall in 1998 – very good sound quality (and I’m told the light show was excellent). There’s also a session with King of Rome and I’m Throwing Rice as well as the recording of Legend In My Time that was made for John Peel’s birthday. Good stuff. Oh, and there’s an acoustic session recorded while on the way to a gig, from a Johnny Walker programme.

An invoice has just landed on my desk for a quantity of Jelutong. It’s £16.96 per square metre timber fans!

Just found this on YouTube.Ricky Gervais,Carl Pilkington and “the other one” talking about HMHB :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YvcmdPW8WHA&feature=related

With my bike geek hat on, in this day and age a hub dynamo is more likely to be made by Shimano or, if one is wealthy, Schmidt Maschinenbau of Tübingen.

I spent some of my 2006 redundancy payment on a couple of Schmidts.

I love The Schmidts…my favourite track is ‘Rubber Ring’.

@ Shirley Dimensions

I like Frankly Herr Shankly and Wilhelm It Was Really Nothing.

@John last one’s a beauty!

Stop this before it turns into Twitter and we start putting hashtags on things

today’s Guardian website has an article on how to get to Stavanger by road. I’m surely not the only one who smiled when they saw it.

Friday’s Telegraph crossword 14 down:

Cleric and a ruler in disharmony (5,4)

Apropos of rural Roger Dean-eries, last Saturday we were first of all lost in Blackwell, then strange at it may seem we ended up in Eyam.

Mrs Exford’s been wanting to do the “Blackwell trek”, as she’s been calling the Monsal trail, ever since she saw it on telly last year. So we set off early-ish on Saturday morning, only to realise I’d forgotten the White Peak O/S map. Well how hard can it be, though, to find the disused railway line at Blackwell and then stay on the track ?

Mrs. Exford drives past surprisingly shallow, warm-looking reservoirs along country lanes where road signs may may not be what they seem, but nonetheless everywhere they are advertising “Eyam Carnival and Well-Dressing”. The road atlas takes us down Blackwell Dale and we find our supposed destination of Blackwell-in-the-Peak easy enough, but trouble is we can’t see anything that looks like a disused railway line anywhere, and there’s nobody around to ask in this tiny hamlet of about 20 souls. We’re sent hither and thither by some clueless caravanners, we’ve driven to two other nearby villages and back, we’ve scaled a limestone tor to scan the horizon for clues, and we’re about to ask some sheep, when we finally see a tractor turning, for no apparent reason.

“Ah, the old Midland Line footpath. It’s not Blackwell you want. “The farmer says. “It’s Blackwell Mill, back along the Buxton road. You can park off the main road there.” So we do. Apparently Blackwell Mill, AKA Blackwell Halt, AKA Blackwell Junction used to have the smallest railway platform in the country, right by this row of former railway cottages.

http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/176189

So then it’s over bridges under bridges to our destination, under tunnels over viaducts, and the other way around, with fantastic views down along the little river Wye for the next 2 hours until we are about to swing south …

http://www.geograph.org.uk/photo/817099

…but this has only whetted the appetite for a proper walk and we’re not really ready for crowds of pensioners on coach trips feeding the Bakewell ducks with egg sandwiches and making jokes about tarts. We’ve realised that in fact we can turn this flat there-and back stroll into a far more challenging circular loop uphill and down dale back to the car. And after all it’s only a 4 -mile hike northwards to Eyam. How hard can it be, after 5 mins in a shop sneakily looking at the O/S and stubbornly trying to memorise the route ? ‘Cos I’m damned if Mrs. E. is going to spend £9 to re-buy a map I’ve already got at home.

Bloody hard is the answer. In fact we plunge headlong into several ravines and have to be rescued from limestone quarries frequently. But an hour and a half later we are amongst crowds of astonished rustics outside Eyam Tea Rooms. Realising just in the nick of time that the tea rooms have adopted a “Café René “from “‘Allo ‘Allo” fancy dress theme for the day , we swerve zem and head for ye Miner’s Arms instead. A quick swing round the plague- graves to pay our respects, plastic pint glasses of carnival ale in hand.

Mrs. Exford’s purchase of a quaint postcard showing a “Green Man” well-dressing design leads to an interesting conversation with the local scold about how the church may have wanted to appropriate pagan traditions when it suited them, but a curse upon them ‘cos they wouldn’t bless her own pagan design …. just then a bagpipe band leads a masked carnival procession past her perch and it’s all getting a bit “Wicker Man”. So before she curses us with the plague too, we decide to resume our loop back, via the spectacular Cressbrook Dale, to the car at Blackwell.

Earlier on, someone in the pub in Eyam has told us that Blackwell Hall is home to a microbrewery that makes a highly recommended Czech lager and we should pop in for a few bottles on our way home !! Unfortunately, when we do pass Blackwell Hall, it’s two hours later and we’re two hours muddier due to avoiding ancient packhorse bridges we shouldn’t have avoided. So even though we’d been to a well-dressing we didn’t feel well dressed enough to enter the well manicured driveway of the local gentry. The Bohemian stuff would have to wait for another day.

Very good! Twenty second clip here on YouTube.

Charles, you’re just jealous because you didn’t get on. Why don’t you have a go against the Eggheads? You’d beat them on your own.

i’ve had a belly-full of Tommy Walsh’s eco house

Drop-dead-gorgeous bird who owns every U2 record or mingin-stinkin-skank who has two tickets to see hmhb?

Good spot, JDB. Peering over the paywall so you don’t have to, I see Mr. Crampton writes:

“Figures from the Local Government Association suggest that up to a third of blue badges are used fraudulently, having been either borrowed, inherited, forged or stolen. Some cities estimate that the fiddle is even more widespread: Newcastle think it’s more than half; Leeds reckons almost 60 per cent; Edinburgh says it’s closer to 70. Nationally, a whopping 2.5 million blue badges are in issue.

“I was shocked to read this story. Call me old-fashioned — and I must be very old-fashioned indeed — but I thought that even in these degenerate times, parking in a disabled space if you didn’t need to remained a line that you literally did not cross, the kind of right or wrong moral absolute on which the Pope is so keen, even more straightforward than deciding that dishing out rubber johnnies to stop people dropping dead is morally right and not doing so is morally wrong.

“Even if there are ten empty spaces, even if it’s chucking it down, even if you’ll only be a minute, you just don’t do it, do you? Well, no, apparently, you do. At these levels of misuse, it’s probably best to scrap the whole scheme and start again.

“As with so many contemporary issues, incidentally, the criminally under-rated Birkenhead-based songsters Half Man Half Biscuit were first out of the blocks on this one. I refer you to the track Blue Badge Abuser on CSI: Ambleside, HMHB’s 2008 masterpiece.”

Have any other eagle eyed fans noticed the similarity between Stephen Carr (diminutive full back for Birmingham City) and Neil Crossley? Are they perhaps related? Surely not another “bastard son” situation?

On Gardener’s World on Friday night Joe Swift ended up with some pitiful competition onions after neglecting them for two weeks! Not sure if he went to Cuba but definitely a no-rosette situation for Mr. Swift!

I was reading Simon Pegg’s new tome “Nerd Do Well” last night. Don’t bother; watch “Spaced” and “Shaun Of The Dead” instead. In it he mentions having performed a few HMHB covers with his band at the Embra festival, describing the band as “short-lived”.

Should we tell him?

Peter

I remember a HMHB question on UC from a few years back. If I remember, no one answered correctly. Damn students.

I’ve just booked a family holiday in Sicily. I very much doubt we’ll be storming any brothels though.

There was a woman in the audience of “QI” the other week who /could/ lick her elbows.

Bit late this one, but about two weeks ago a member of the Channel 4 Racing team (possibly John Francombe, though I’m not certain as I happened to glance away as it was said and wouldn’t be able to identify his voice from a sample of the rest of the presenters unless they all were wearing Dalek voice changing masks for a laugh and they’d forgotten to get him one) “if it comes in it’ll pay for the ticket to Dignitas”.

Paddy Shennan column in Liverpool Echo 20/10/10/
An anniversary worth making a song and dance about…It’s 25 years this month since the release of Back in the DHSS.

As a Brit now living in South Africa, PBR’s are thin on the ground. Most South Africans don’t even come close to understanding NB’s lyrics.

However, today as I drove to Krugersdorp to see my girlfriend’s brother I was listening to Trouble Over Bridgwater in the car. Just as ‘Used To Be In Evil Gazebo’ started I had to stop at a traffic light which was next to a signpost that read “Sterkfontein Psychiatric Hospital”. Sadly, I didn’t see any big friendly bears or The Tindersticks opening the Hamilton Bland Memorial Swimming Pool.

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Bereaved mother told she may have visited wrong grave for 60 years – Telegraph.co.uk, 23 Oct 2010

@ RICHARD LOVELL
Actually, the top name is Mohammed, if we take into account the various spellings.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1324194/Mohammed-popular-baby-boys-ahead-Jack-Harry.html

An indication of how life is changing in the UK.

Nice one Bobby. He must have thought you were getting jittery.

So on the boys names thing, in about 30 years it will be not long now until lollipop men are called Oliver.

@Neil G – please don’t mention the Da*ly Ma*l here, I have to go away and calm down. That story about the name “Mohammed” is of course bollocks, they amazingly add together all the different spellings of the name but conveniently forget to do the same for other names. Anyway it is awesome that HMHB stuck “Oliver” and “Olivia” in a song a whole 12 years before they became the nation’s favourite two names.

@ Chris
Interesting. Although I would argue that someone who is called Ollie, Oli or Olly is not called Oliver. You can shorten Oliver to Olly but surely you cannot extend Olly to Oliver. Also, Olivier is patently not Oliver. Mohammed, whichever way you spell it, is still Mohammed. The variations in spelling are simply the result of variable transliteration from another language.

I was reminded of a chapter in the book Freakonomics, which stated that among black Americans there is a tendency to invent unique names for their children. Many children were actually named Unique, although, to make them unique the spelling of their names varied considerably, for example, Uneek, Uniique, Uneeq, and so on. Irony, eh?

I was going to make the same point as Neil G – Muhammad, Mohammed and Muhammed (and indeed Mehmet) are clearly the same name in a way that Olivier and Olly aren’t. They are spelt differently because Arabic doesn’t specify the vowels.

Oliver though – it’s an odd one. Interesting to see Archie there too, with all its lovable working class scamp connotations. William Hills had better get extra staff on next time there’s a meeting at Newton Abbott.

Used not Alexei Sayle to claim that hi full name was Alexei Leningrad 1917 Yuri Gagarin Warsaw Pact Tractor Factory Moscow Dynamo Back Four Glorious Five Year Plan Sayle, or something.

Not long now before lollipop men are called Mohammed.

Wow, just had a PBR here in South Africa, 6000 miles away from the epicentre of all PBR activity!

Whilst waiting for the latest episode of Monk to start, I was yawning my way through Universal Channel’s ‘filler’ called Zoom In, a behind the scenes look at the making of various movies. They were interviewing screenwriter Diablo Cody and asked her where she came up with the idea for her movie ‘Juno’. She answered thus: “Well, I thought what’s a story that’s never been told?’ I’ve never seem ‘Juno’ but I can only assume it’s about the turbulent demise of Climie Fisher.

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on the way to work this morning I happened to spy a man collecting the elastic bands dropped by the postman. I hope that as I write he’s making his way to the pub quiz…..

I’ve just seen a sniffer dog in a flourescent bib.

Sainsburys’ security, like I’m dead scared…

Drizzle also…….sorry Chris!

Last night, on Radio 5, a Scotish reporter was giving the half time update on a Scottish Premier League game (I think) and used the phase “…hotly disputed penalty….” in his report.

Millbank tower is also home to a number of (Johnny) Quangos.

The choirs of cacophony burst in, singing. And they were singing:

They looked at my bank balance,
I looked at their fees,
It was then I decided my prospects were bleak.
Well it may be through mob rule,
It may be people power,
But one day there’s going to be blood in the tower.

Blood in the tower
Blood in the tower
We’re all off to Millbank, for some blood in the tower.
I ain’t no Horace Moule
Never heard of ‘goose rule’
But sometimes there has to be some blood in the tower.

This may sound like a class rant
But it’s really because
The party I helped vote in had pledged to do the exact opposite.

And you thought that Nigel was joking when he said the Michael Jackson was wearing a HMHB T-Shirt at his autopsy?

This from today’s Guardian: “Micael Jackson’s estate has issued a statement insisting that it really is the late singer performing on the recently released song Breaking News, after doubts wer raised by members of his family.”

Who would have thought it?

For sale at ‘Post-Punk Postcard’ Fairs perhaps…?

Double PBR on 5 live now – a club versus country debate featuring guest panelist Garth Crooks.

I had to trample over small children to get back home to wash some sieves.

Whilst walking the dog this morning, I thought I’d head over to the local park and take in a bit of pub-team footy. As I stood on the sideline, I noticed that the central defender of the “Stripes” started applauding the linesman’s offside decision. The linesman was stood only inches away from me but I was totally flummoxed as to what to say to him (without sounding like a mad man). It was an opportunity missed, if ever there was one. Any suggestions?

When I still lived in Scotland, the refs were sponsored by Specsavers – ironic or appropriate?

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@The Laird: The Specsavers sponsorship deal will last till at least 2012, which makes a whole decade. Though they hardly seem to have improved a single referee’s sight in all that time.

“We have invested £200,000 a year in training and development” said a Specsavers spokesman when the deal was extended last year. “The establishment of the referees training academy has played a key role in fast-tracking aspiring young referees to the top of their game. When we first signed with the Scottish FA, I think the irony of the association appealed to the Scottish football fans’ sense of humour. But seven years on, nobody’s laughing now.”

How prophetic!

I reckon all referees should be sponsored by the Luddites or by some tribe who believe that photography can steal your soul, as long as FIFA stubbornly refuse to let them use video evidence during a match.

It’s the supporters who should strike, and here’s an anthem:

Video Referees Now !

Sepp – justice is the basis for all sporting law,
But if a referee’s eyes aren’t enough any more,
If the game’s so fast they can’t tell what they saw,
We need video referees now!

You play fat cat politics to hold onto power
And sit with moneymen in an ivory tower,
Girls in shorter shorts? Play 4 quarters, 2 hours?
What are you dreaming up now?

When a ball’s in the goal for all to see -
Everyone except linesman and referee!
It’s clear to the crowd and it’s clear to me -
We need video referees now!

You say we might try video for balls across the line,
But if a ref can’t see those, what hope for truly fine
Judgements on penalties, and hair’s breadth offsides?
We need video referees now!

You can shrug and say that over the season
Good and bad luck will end up breaking even
Will Henry’s handball break even? That’s the reason
We need video referees now!

The ubiquitous cretin on a phone-in will plead there
That “a bit of controversy is what all games need, yeah?”
Yes, and miscarriages of justice are good for the media,
But we need video referees now.

I tell you Sepp, just a few short year’s hence
Every match will run smoothly with video evidence,
And your Luddite delaying will be seen as nonsense.
We need video referees now!

Mistakes ruin our Saturday, ruin our Sunday
They affect our lives, these blunders aren’t funny,
I bet we’ll see change when it earns you big money!
We need video referees now!

The said video replays would ruin other games
But cricket and rugby are still just the same!
Come on Sepp, don’t be afraid of change,
We need video referees now!

Brian Cant was on BBC Breakfast this morning. Poor bugger’s got Parkinson’s

Can anybody tell me what the opening lines of “When the evening sun goes down” means? Is it poetic licence or does it actually mean something? “I shout all my obscenities from steeples but please don’t label me a madman.

Aye, it is a truth universally acknowledged that if the line in question rhymes with a genius quip, then there’s probably no need to look for any deeper meaning. However it would be remiss of me to neglect an opportunity to make a late-night fool of myself by leaving mere prosaic meaning aside and revelling pretentiously in discussions of imagery.

Shouting one’s insane passions from steeples, whether the glory of romantic love or some misguided religious infatuation, is a commonplace of many a 20th century song. Then there are generations of folk tales where misunderstood, persecuted anti-heroes take climactic sanctuary in belltowers and steeples, escaping momentarily from the hostile tabloid-reading populace below who of course consider them mad and therefore deserving of getting their heads kicked in. A 1973 song by Phil Lynott and a story by GK Chesterton spring immediately to mind, but the collective cultural unconscious harbours many such generic Quasimodo-like persecutions. The line could be borrowed from, or inspired by, one such literary scenario, perhaps.

Then there are the cafe bars, idiots and pigeons later in the same verse. Surely we must think that this prefigures the ‘Letters Sent’ on the cover of the following album and in the track of that name, parodying the classic grumpy old man rantings of the suburban vigilante, all too easily labelled a madman. Are the steeples in fact a metaphor for the local press ?

Nah, it’s probably just a line borrowed randomly from who knows where and, like John says, two very decent half-rhymes with “Beatles” and “Chapman”.

Possibly, but it wouldn’t happen without the full approval of the band. However, others are already working on this, I believe. Watch this space, but don’t get your hopes up!

One of my friends has just posted this on Facebook:

Watching Skeleton on Eurosport. Really want to have a go at that!!

I wonder whether Paul Konchesky’s dad has ever embarrassed him on YouTube.
Facebook mum

Photo on the front page of The Sunday Times yesterday showed a Bottleneck at Capel Curig, albeit one of sheep stuck in deep snow rather than of minis racing towards seaside caravans.

“It wins by a short head from “Sealed Knot Society lets see you try and do this one/ Luton Town-Millwall 1985.””

And for me John – the only thing that beats this one, is “Coz you can’t get Teenage Eskimo in Wantage.”

When you search ‘Comrades wave as train heads to the Black Sea’ and up pops Betjeman’s ‘Matlock Bath’. (How ?)

And you realise it talks about jam.

If anyone knows Mrs Gibson, please put me out of my misery now.

Whilst emailing a friend of mine in relation to the Sex Pistols performance in Atlanta, Georgia, 05-01-78, I’ve just used the phrase ‘vinyl-flip gap crowd noise transition’. Should NB57 ever read this, please feel free to use this as a title for any future ‘bootleg obsessives’ track.

Two glaring omissions from the list:

Nigel Blackwell O.B.E (Order of Birkenhead Excellence) – for services to absolutely cracking songwriting and knowledge of obscure goalkeepers.

Charles Exford O.B.E. (Order of Biscuit Experts) – for superior list-making and services to under-privilleged pedants and nit-pickers.

Seriously though, I wonder how Nigel would react to such an honour. Would he feel genuinely honoured or throw a Lennon-esque tantrum and send it back, perhaps with a dead Sanderling in the box?

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Happy new year fellow Biscuiteros!

(Say that again and I’ll capitalize ya!)

I had a row on New Year’s Eve too, but of the pulling-on-oars kind, so it only really works written down.

Didn’t get drunk on any ferris wheels though.

Observer Crossword 22 across:

Ignored an untidy bleeder in resort (6, 1, 5, 3)

Saturday night’s PBR came to me courtesy of a junker small van/estate I passed quickly on the M5 with big white upper case letters in the back window saying ‘GOURANGA’.

Today’s PBR came to me courtesy of Pollstar:

Bristol Hippodrome Bristol, United Kingdom 7 updates
________________________________________
01/23/2012 Michael Flatley’s “Lord Of The Dance”

Two good PBRs in two days!

@ John Anderson

I think I’m right in saying I applauded.

Had a very minor PBR tonight when eating dinner at one of our favourite local restaurants – they started playing the Buena Vista Social Club CD, though they didn’t have it on display. Of course, the fact that I recognised it instantly means I have to admit owning the CD and having played it many times. Don’t care how pretentious NB thinks it is, I love it!

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round a friends house at the weekend, they had been away at Xmas so the kids were opening some presents. Low and behold one was a Scalectrix set! I sat there beaming like an idiot, even more so when someone started discussing transformers.

Just out of curiosity, I Googled ‘Scalextric transformer’. A wall mounted transformer for the standard bases is £15 and one for a Scalextric Digital base (whatever that is) is £37.99. Maybe next time they play it live he should sing “it cost fifteen quid” (“it cost thirty seven ninety nine” just doesn’t scan).

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On the weather tonight it mentioned that with all this rain about this weekend, the highest level was seen at Capel Curig. No mention of any bottlenecks though.

Another minor PBR happened yesterday on the birdwatching forum I subscribe to when one of our members thought he’d spotted a Sanderling (not very common here in Africa) at Kgomo Kgomo, but it turned out to be a Little Stint and it wasn’t dead…

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I just thought possibly the finest PBR for years needs a mention on this page too.

Sounds like an idea. Leave it with me. Any suggestions as to the format, email me directly.

Gregg Z

My mate Jeff Dreadnought and I played a similar game on the way up to the Bilston gig in the car. However, we let the Ipod do the selections so there was no seeding, and the aim was to find the best album, allowing each album to field whatever song came up for that round. Pre-tournament favourite Cammell Laird Social Club won, but only after surviving a scare when it sent “Stavanger Toestub” out to bat in what seemed an act of arrogant folly, only to win that round on some dodgy technicality.

They did a similar knockout on the Wedding Present forum too and it was quite entertaining and also quite surprising. I think Dalliance might have won that, but it’s a while ago.

If dreams concerning HMHB count as PBR’s then I had the ultimate PBR two nights ago!

In the dream I was sitting watching TV and a live HMHB gig was being broadcast. The camera panned to the audience to show them singing along with Nigel. Suddenly I was no longer watching on TV but was actually at the gig. After the last song, the band started packing up their gear and leaving the hall. All but Nigel had left the hall when I noticed one of those squeezebox type concertinas lying on the stage, which for some reason I referred to as an accordion. I picked it up and walked over to Nigel who seemed really tall, about 6 ’6″ or so, and was wearing a really expensive looking grey three piece suit and smoking a big fat cigar. I said to him, in my best Michael Aspel voice “I never thought I’d get a chance to say this but…Nigel Blackwell, this is your accordion!” I expected him to be mildly impressed (in a Brad Friedel sort of way) or at least laugh, but he just looked down at me (I’m only 5′ 6″) and nodded towards a wooden pallet that all the band’s gear was on, indicating I should leave the accordion there. Then he walked away without a word. I was soooo disappointed!

So now the scene switches and I’m in jail and so is Nigel. He’s mopping floors and complaining that he shouldn’t have been assigned a job because he’s only there for a month (maybe he’d sent a dead Sanderling to Phil Cool). He was trying to think of a title for his new album and wanted to use the “Back In The…” format again but was struggling to find a way of abbreviating his current location to four letters. I suggested things like “Back In The J.A.I.L” or “Back In My C.E.L.L.” Thankfully I woke up at that point or I think he would have kicked my head in or something!

Does that count as a PBR? If not, feel free to delete it.

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I bought a new telly yesterday. After three and a quarter hours of rolling around on the floor, I switched it on and who is the first person to greet me?

Nick fucking Knowles, that who

Flicking through the Book Of Crap Towns, I notice that Yate and Bridgwater are side by side at numbers 45 and 44 respectively.

I climbed Moel Famau today, but the cloudbase wasn’t especially low…the clouds were quite patchy actually.

I had sex with my wife last night and she said “You’re hard.”

If this is not the mother of all PBR’s then it’s at least a mate of the mother of all PBR’s.

Whilst channel hopping today I came across a documentary about James Dean’s ill-fated drive across California. I was feeling desperately disappointed when nobody would use the word ‘careless’ to describe his driving and feeling sure a PBR would not be forthcoming. Then, when re-tracing the route he took, they showed the roadside store that was the last place he stopped before setting off on the final leg of his journey. It was called….wait for it…cue ‘National Shite Day’ type drum roll… Blackwell’s Corner!

Cheers Exxo!

They also offer die-cast model cars..wonder if they sell, you know, THE car. Perhaps they sell a model Porsche Spyder that comes with a hammer so you can mash it into the final shape of Dean’s car – hours of fun for all the family! Maybe splash a dollop of jam on it for added authenticity.

Still disappointed they didn’t say he was a careless driver though…

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P.S. The programme was called Final Days Of An Icon or something like that and it was on Discovery World, if anybody’s interested.

Ah, don’t get me started on the hypocrisy of religions that fleece their flocks of millions while the hierarchy live a ife of luxury (which covers most mainstream organised religions)! Many years ago I worked in a hotel at Aberdeen Airport and the Archbishop Of Canterbury came to stay for a night. He was accommodated in the Presidential Suite at £110 per night. That might not sound a lot now, but this was around 1983 / 84 when £110 for a hotel room bought you a fair bit of luxury.

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Les, I suppose I should clarify here. When I referred to the “hierarchy” within a religion, I meant the very high ranking members as opposed to the rank and file. I realise, of course, that even the lowliest priest is part of that hierarchy, so I should have been more specific in my choice of words. I was referring to cardinals, bishops, archbishops etc.

However, your response illustrates the point perfectly. The priests you refer to don’t do what they do for the money, they do it for their beliefs and their desire to further the aims of their chosen religion. Surely the papal entourage could perform their duties just as well in a Travelodge as they can in a luxury hotel without the British taxpayer having to fork out anything?

I don’t have a problem with the fact that they get to stay in luxurious hotels with £150 a day expenses, it just seems wrong to me when the church they represent is reputed to have assests worth £30 billion, that the taxpayer has to foot any of the bill at all.

I should also make it clear that I never intended to offend anyone’s religious beliefs with my comments, I was merely expressing my personal opinion on the subject.

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there I was having just finished drinking in Covent Garden when, like any right minded individual, I decided to listen to HMHB on my walk to Waterloo. iPod put on shuffle and off I went.

As I walked through Embankment tube what was Nigel singing? Only “I’ll be busking this at Embankment tube tomorrow”.

What are the chances of that?

Having had a quick look roughly 1 in 233.

Okay Lads, enough with the weird, obscure choice of venues. I get it. You’re different, but for fux sake, just come to liverpool, will you.

Has Ernie Shackleton got a gob on on google?

Saw Neil Morrissey on Breakfast TV, this morning, promoting his new live show, largely a Q & A, inviting any questions from the audience. First gig 2nd March, in New Brighton. As this is only a short bus ride for Nigel, I expect him to be in the crowd , asking the obvious question, ‘Why are you a knobhead? ‘-mind you at £17 a ticket, perhaps not!

Royal Mail’s rubber band use – 4 billion in the last five years

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12518196

The new Radiohead album has provided me with numerous opportunities to tell people that this year they’ve been asked to turn off Blackpool lights.

I watched Mastermind last week for the first time in years. I guess given the nature and volume of HMHB’s canon of work it is hardly surprising if there were a few PBRs in each show, but I was particularly pleased to have two of the answers being “Sylvia Plath” and “..is the light of an oncoming train.” Two PBRs from the same song certainly suggest a Biscuit-influenced question setter.

I was multi-tasking at the time (in grim defiance of my gender) so may have missed more, so I plan to review on iPlayer.

The closing lines of “A Shropshire Lad” came up on “University Challenge” on Monday night. I knew it, or rather guessed it. The Penniless Student Oaves didn’t.

While logic dictates Mr Larrington can only be referring to Housman’s wistful poems, a part of me cannot help but imagine Jeremy Paxman speaking the lines, “Achtung, Edwardian lampoon; Oh no, my head feels like sponge.”

I did notice that, but felt that ‘PBR’ would be taking it a bit too far unless the oaves subsequently ended up in the care of the St. John’s volunteers.

By the way, does anyone know the words of the song City fans sing to the tune from the Kirk Douglas/Tony curtis film “The Vikings”? I loved that film when I were a nipper.

And on another huge tangent (but stillnot a PBR) I can vouch from recent personal experience that Tom the Villa fan who does the OTT chants for St. Pauli whenever HMHB play in the Midlands also chants the same HMHB song ad infinitum in St. Pauli, so at least he’s consistent.

Well the plural of loaf is loaves.

English is a flexible language – I think Charles may have used it to annoy Neil who made the exact same post.

“Oafs” sounds both wrong and mad. I challenge those who object to a duel. Hampstead Heath at dawn next Tuesday (in church hall if wet). Name your weapon.

I name mine “Basil”.

Mr Larrington,

The plural of thief is thieves but is the plural of chief ‘chieves’ or the plural of brief ‘brieves’? No. The plural of oaf is oafs, whether it sounds mad or wrong to you or not. To me it sounds perfect.

Which incidentally makes “oaves” is legal in Scrabble because of the inclusion in Chambers, official dictionary of UK Scrabble (if you have any sort of Scrabble computer/video game you should find it’s kosher there too).

Controversial I know, since I’m informed (but can’t check) that the OED’s last citation of “oaves” was 1858.

The funny thing is, I wasn’t using it as a word above, and certainly not intending to annoy, but was just referring to the old Villa hoolie acronym. West Ham had the ICF, Leeds the ICSC, and Villa had the OAVES (Old Aston Villa Express Steamers, better known as the Steamers for short).

I was sat in the waiting room of the fracture clinic in my local hospital the other day when a nurse came up to me and asked “Is that your phone ringing?” to which I replied “No, it’s on the telly.”. I was very tempted to then chant “Let’s do the bongo-laced twenty-second album” but decided the men in white coats may have taken me away!

Just noticed in the Leamington Observer, an august journal, that Jan Akkerman is playing there next month.

Phew, after that I’m knackered, man!

A warmth was generated around Twickenham yesterday when a fox wandered onto the pitch shortly before the match between England and Scotland (I’m dirty great big Six Nations fan). No dogs were available, it seems.

Was it a fox?

A nice little PBR during the cricket world cup when Mike Atherton, discussing the Decision Review System, said “There have been some bad reviews”. Was the third umpire Jeff Dreadnought by any chance?

Also, whilst driving up the west coast of South Africa from Capetown the other day, my GPS recommended “Continue to Birkenhead Drive”. Many places in the Western Cape are named after British towns but this is the first time I’ve seen Birkenhead get a mention.

Spinning my dial around the MW frequencies just now, I was alerted to the news that Gordon Giltrap’s latest tour is heading my way. Not strictly a PBR, until the next song played turned out to be by Eva Cassidy.

But really this post was just a shallow attempt to join the “big” boys.

Is this where I come in?

http://www.bobwilsonsoccercycle.com/

“Former Arsenal and Scotland goalkeeper and TV presenter, Bob Wilson will be taking on the greatest challenge of his life this April. Bob will cycle more than 500 miles via every Premiership Club in England and Hampden Park in his homeland of Scotland.”

He had a good innings!! Name checked on the first album and batted on for another 25 years!!

Went to the sad but stirring occasion of Jeff Dreadnought’s dad’s funeral last week, which was just next to Bulbarrow Hill, which was indeed wonderful. And much better than Cuba.

Then drove up to see my folks, which involved not only driving past the beautiful sparkling waters of Bath in Avon, Stroud (but not too near), Yate, but also narrowly failed to make it past Parbold by 7:15. Not to mention at least two sets of two-chevrons-apart signs. And Stapeley Water Gardens (flaskless).

Mrs Les doesn’t even bother asking any more why I chortle and drift off into reverie whenever we drive past apparently dull road signs.

Whilst coming through Birmingham Snow Hill the other day on the Kidderminster to Dorridge train I noticed that the Wrexham and Shrewsbury train on the other platform was named “A Shropshire Lad”. Now I know it wasn’t really named after the Biscuit song, but still…

I was reading Jo Nesbo’s “The Snowman” on the tube yesterday. In which, among the killin’s, the hero takes his sort-of- girlfriend’s son to see Slipknot. Moreover, I got on at Embankment.

Classified Advert in latest “Private Eye” under “Eye Travel”(1285) reads:-

“The Ultimate In Chic. Learning courses, Carcassonne, Creative Writing, Cookery, Dean Friedman’s Songwriting. http://www.frenchhouseparty. eu”

Presumably hosted by Great Uncle Corduroy!

HMHB are wasted on the locals here in South Africa, they just don’t understand (like in Look Dad, No Tunes). So this evening my girlfriend’s daughter told us that one evening last week she and some colleagues had gone ten pin bowling. “Did you go after work?” I enquired. “Yes” she replied, at which point I started jumping up and down shouting “PBR, PBR!”. I tried to explain to her what a PBR is but, as with all HMHB references over here, it drew nought but a blank look. Still, I enjoyed it at least!

Ô¿Ô

You couldn’t make it up:

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn20323

More fun that a milkiy drink and Sudafed.

Apologies if this is already common knowledge amonst the Biscuit Cognoscenti but thanks to picking up a free copy of Sport magazine, I have just discovered that there really is a TV presenter called Sophie Horn.

Don’t you just hate it when you just miss out on a PBR? It’s a bit like missing a penalty in injury time! I was making up a shopping list the other day and the first three items were: eggs, bread, cigs. Imagine my disappointment when I looked in the fridge and discovered we didn’t need any milk. I was tempted to buy some anyway, just to complete the set but I was deterred by the thought of having to explain it to my other half who, being South African, doesn’t understand what all this stuff is about.

Ô¿Ô

Mr Crossley himself wandered past me the other morning in Liverpool’s Dale Street quarter. I resisted the temptation to say “Ta Neil”, apropos of nothing, nor to suggest that he “let it happen”.

Tim Harford on Radio 4′s ‘More or Less’ this afternoon looked into the effects of sacking Fireman Dibble from the Trumpton fire brigade.He didn’t actually say unemployment’s spreading like pneumonia, but such was the gist.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b006qshd
(8/4/11 @ 10.30)

I had a wonderful PBR yesterday. I was in Paddy Power to put on my Grand National bet and as I approached the counter (£10 to win – Quinz), I heard a voice from one of the monitors say: “Monmore, hare’s running”. I had no idea before then the song referred to greyhound racing. Is that an omen?

@Toffo. Three weeks ago NB57 told me that work on the album had been very gradual, but that it was coming along and should be completed by the end of April, which would normally mean that actual copies would be ready to go out in June. He said that if it wasn’t quite fully on sale by the time of the London gig then he thought Geoff would somehow manage to make copies available there anyway (I seem to remember that the same thing happened with Achtung Bono in July ’05, but at the first gig when it was on Geoff’s table in Leeds a lot of people who would have loved a copy never even knew it was there ‘cos Nigel never even mentioned it).

I didn’t ask any more details ‘cos I don’t want to spoil any surprises.

I do know that it is set to be the greatest album ever recorded in my own native borough of Wallasey, but is surely unlikely to be titled “New Brighton Rock”.

Cheers Churly/Charles/Exxo.

The album won’t be called after a cheesy mid 80s pop event, one which my ex-girlfriend attended. Amazingly, it got televised and thinking back, it was awful.
Think NB57 will come up with a title of a more pious nature if he has had the good book out again. Fascinating times indeed…..

Just found this site for the first time tonight while Buzzcocks was on the telly. The guest line up question was ‘Which one of these was the singer in the Goombay Dance Band?’ and Phil Jupitus’ team spotted that Alan Brazil was at no 3.
And now you want to put me in the ambulance.

An oldie, but please tell me I didn’t dream that TV nurse – off of ‘Holby City’ or similar – moaning on some Saturday morning kids’ programme about the lack of Half Man Half Biscuit records in her local store. This was around the time of ‘Voyage to the Bottom of the Road’, as I recall.

Neil,

I took it out of the library a couple of years ago and found it quite interesting. Apparently the sure fire way to a perfect golf swing lies in making sure your belt buckle points at the target at the end of the swing. Why did nobody tell that to Rory McIlroy?

There was a chapter on the best golfer that nobody had ever heard of that I enjoyed – so much so that I now still can’t remember his name. Monty Norman?

I’ve just switched the kitchen light off with my chin, whilst holding tea and toast.

Not quite a goalkeeper with no arms, but about as useful.

Surfing the BBC news page, the link said “war graves at Iron Age hill fort” …and then along came the rest of the song flooding back to me…

chuckled to myself when I saw a poster advertising this….

http://www.myspace.com/newnoiseclub

Today I erected a gazebo, which proved in its way to be sufficiently evil to merit its inclusion here. Disappointingly, even though it was 1/3 off it was still £66.66 from Argos.

Good point TFF. We have a gazebo in our garden and the fabric cover needed replacing due to exposure to our famous Highveld thunderstorms and the arses of a multitude of crows, sparrows and other avian anuses. The company that made the gazebo went bust so we can no longer get the replacement covers. We had to have one custom made and it turned out to be a load of shite, so we now just paid a professional upholsterer a ridiculous amount of money to make one that fits properly and dosen’t fall apart if you so much as look at it the wrong way.

So whither the evil, you might well ask. Put simply, all gazebos for sale here in South Africa are now imported from China, nobody makes them here any more, and they come flat-packed in a box with one measly cover. So eventually everyone will posses a lovely gazebo frame with a tatty, ripped and discoloured cover full of bird shite. The world will then be forced to go begging, cap in hand, to China for replacement covers and the Chinese will become so wealthy that they’ll rule the world for ever and ever. Or not, as the case may be.

BTW, ours makes our already tiny garden look smaller!

Ô¿Ô

To avoid confusion, the band may well have to re-name themselves Half Man Half Biscuit (UK) or something like that, judging by this.

I finally got round to watching “Control” this weekend. It’s hard to give the subject matter the serious thought it deserves when Rob Gretton is calling for Alan from Crispy Ambulance to take Ian Curtis’s place on stage. Presumably Joy Division having gone on after Crispy Ambulance.

The final of the Liverpool Comedy Festival ‘Funny Business’ competition (for new comedians) was notable for the eventual winner sporting an ‘Achtung Bono’ tee-shirt. If you YouTube ‘Royal Court Funny Business’, you can see for yourself. And he was mildly amusing, to boot, if you can dissect the scouseness of the material.

I’ve had stickers made saying “this is not how I would spell the plural of panino and if you’re going to anglicise it surely it should be paninoes.”

Catchy, eh ?

I’ve just seen a Ha-why-in shirt…as the shop’s sign called it. Can you imagine how tempted i was to whip out me little green betting shop pen.

Does anyone else tune into the new ITV Sunday night detective series ‘Vera’ in the (vain) hope that someone might shoot Brenda Blethyn in the opening minutes?

Apparently BBC4 start showing a new sitcom on Monday night about 24 Hour Garage People from Iceland. That’s the northern European country, not the popular downmarket grocery store, who probably don’t have many 24 hour petrol garages across the estate.

I have just booked a holiday in Snowdonia. I’m sure Nigel would approve. I am thus aware of the potential for a week of PBRs, I have already identified the potential for a Bottleneck At Capel Curig on the way there, plus the cottage has an Aga which I don’t know how to use.

I’ll bring you more developments as they emerge.

Sorry, I posted the above comment twice. I may have been drinking at the time.

Stewart Goddard (aka Adam Ant) today on an interview I heard on the BBC World Service, talking about the night he was arrested for threatening people in a London pub:

“… well, I totally lost it, I was … half man, half biscuit by then …”

I’ve got a torch in the back of my car but it needs new batteries. So I just use it for beating missionaries to DETH.

interview with geoff davies on ep 3 of “ooo-ee-etc

http://bongheights.blogspot.com/2011/05/oo-ee-oo-ah-ah-ting-tang-walla-walla.html

Had a job interview yesterday, which involved a spelling test. Predictably, one of the words I was asked to spell was ‘WEIRD.’ The fact that I spelt it correctly probably accounts for the fact that I don’t have thousands in the bank.

Was anyone else disappointed that no swarthy centre-halfs were dismissed during last week’s Europa League final between 2 Portuguese teams?

I’ve just discovered that the Offy by us was screwed last night. My instinctive reaction was to get on the internet and find out the whereabouts of Stromsgodset Under 5′s.

I was in a meeting today where someone used the sentence “he’s talking to Ian Brodie”. (an unrelated Ian Brodie, I assume, unless times in the music industry have got really tough).

Rest of the meeting spent in a cheerful, unproductive reverie about dotcom sitcoms which must have been a bit unsettling for everyone else.

And if you’d been in my house this afternoon, you’d briefly have had the chance to see a Fat Kid With A Sausage Roll (me, by the way).

While I’m here, can I point out this is the 500th comment on this page? I really should split it into multiple pages.

Last night in the car, channel hopping on the radio, I caught Jo Wiley asking the question “I believe you’ve been working with Bernard Butler”. Sadly she wasn’t addressing this to Nigel, but (more believably) to the remnants of Suede.

That’s good work, Gregg Z. Musical indoctrination is an important part of fatherhood.
My daugher ran up to me when she was 2 (10 years ago) when I got back from work demanding to hear “The Apple Pie Song” (by the Wedding Present) and before she had her tonsils out was eerily good at a sort of throaty “Eat Yerself Fitter” background grumble. She’s more into Paramore and Avril Lavigne these days, but it could be a lot worse.

Am bringing my boys along to Shepherd’s Bush and there won’t be any HMHB songs they haven’t heard dozens of times before. Just noticed that The Fall are playing (well, are scheduled to play – who knows what might happen?) next week and it’s half term too. Hmmm…

Double PBR whilst driving on the M62 over the Pennines to Manchester on Saturday afternoon: just as I was keeping 2 chevrons apart I heard Viv Albertine of The Slits on Radio 4′s ‘The Music Group’ comparing Patti Smith with “70s girlie singers” such as Mary Hopkins. She must despair.

I see the mightly Lilywhites have just signed tall, balding goalkeeper Brad Friedel on a free. As a Spurs fan, I’m not exactly turning cartwheels at the news. But I am mildly impressed.

Surprised this hasn’t been mentioned but every night North West Tonight is a double PBR – Gordon Burns, obviously, from Joy Division Oven Gloves, and Ranvir Singh, from Blood On The Quad played live in Manchester (and perhaps elsewhere), replacing Talvin Singh…

Neil Morrissey was on “The Motorbike Show” the other night and yes, he was being a knobhead.

One for the more deluded geeks out there, the beta version of iOS5 released after the recent WWDC has a new app called Reminders. The icon is a checklist that only misses out Cigs.

Exxo

I suppose that counts then (sort of)

A mate of mine is a DJ on a community radio station in Manchester. Every week he posts a topic on his Facebook page and asks for song suggestions. I have never not managed to find a HMHB song to fit the ill, but the bugger has yet to play any of them!

Upon spotting the “Footsteps” parable among a rack of those dreary wall mounted “Motivational Statement” plaques in a department store in Ireland a few years back, trying to explain while unsuccessfully stifling uncontrollable laughter to the devoutly Roman Catholic mother of my girlfriend of the time, where JC REALLY was when the disciple only saw one pair of footsteps in the sand.

We split up soon after…….

As part of my job i had to speak to Brad Friedel last week i have to say i was mildly impressed.

A point I’ve made before on here, I know, but that doesn’t usually stop me. Surely the song condemns only those who call it “Glasto” even though they’ve (i) never been and (ii) are snobbish about those for whom the festival was originally intended, i.e. hippies.

The song in my view makes no comment about anyone else who calls it”Glasto”.

Seeing Dave Wiggins’ comment way up on the list about ‘the Ombudsman’ gave me a start, because I work for the Parliamentary and Health Service Ombudsman.

That said, given the context of ‘cafe bars, idiots and pigeons’, I suspect the Ombudsman needed would be the Local Government Ombudsman – who’s nine floors down from us in Millbank Tower.

But, ah, we do what we can.

few days ago one of (scottish) volleyball’s top referees was a contestant on bargain hunt.
does that count.

On Facebook today, one of my friends was selling her bike: a Pashley with a basket.

Maybe you’re paying the extra quid for the right to hear a number one single being performed?

I doubt Nigel would lose a lot of sleep over the distinction.

Just remembered a PBR I had a couple of weeks when reading Robert Rankin’s excellent novel The Brentford Chainstore Massacre. One of the characters say to another “Somebody set fire to your shed”. You had to feel sorry for the guy because he definitely didn’t work in an all night garage with Talk Radio on.

Ô¿Ô

Was it Mr Massey or Mr Ferguson?

One you might safely describe as lilac.

Campagnolo Super Record to be precise.

Listening to Radcliffe & Maconie on 6music (if it’s a music station, why is there so much news?) on the 6th. They had an interview with Brian Eno.

Someone emailed to mention a club night in Leeds called ‘We know Eno’. Not exactly a copy of the lyrics, but surely an oblique reference to Eno Collaboration?

Dave F – as I’m in permanent exile here in Leeds I was curious to follow up your post, so checked out the Leeds Music Forum and found that the monthly ‘We Know Eno’ night promised to open with Bri’s ‘New Boots and Panties’ album in its entirety, assuring us that after two live bands the punters could then enjoy “top records from the likes of: Talking Heads/Captain Beefheart/Gil Scott Heron/Weezer/Pulled Apart by Horses/Patti Smith/Local Natives/Lee ‘scratch’ Perry/the Fall/eels/Bikini Kill/ Flaming Lips/Outkast/_HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT_/xtc/Divine Comedy/Pavement/etc.”
Which would all scan quite well to the Agadoo tune, if it wasn’t for those pesky Pulled Apart by Horses.

… and on last Friday’s Radcliffe & Maconie, a ‘phone in contestant called Alan said that he is a music PR in Mayfair who’s clients include HMHB.

What surprises me is that they have a PR down South; well any kind of PR at all. I thought it was all done from the back of the Probe Plus shop by Geoff.

Subbuteo story:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/blog/2011/jul/23/subbuteo-football-sport

My daughter was recently working with the offspring of a well-known 80′s chanteuse. Miss W’s colleague was one, Tali Lennox. When I advised my firstborn that I had nothing but total respect for Tali’s mother, I was, of course, met with a blank look and a teenage ‘dad’s a knob’ shake of the head.

Tweet by David Hepworth this afternoon (he of The Word magazine):
“Just been on a bus. Passengers knew where the bus should go. Driver didn’t.” Let’s hope they didn’t end up on Bridge Street.

I’m sure you all spotted this one:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-14363731

Irking the HiFi Purists…

Hows about this for my first PBR contribution

http://www.pinkfishmedia.net/forum/showthread.php?t=104173

Mark

Who’s this Mal practice above? He’s got my goat with his ‘Having said that, half of the posts in this thread aren’t really PBRs. “I just saw some darts in a soap opera”. Congratulations – you’ve realised that Nigel isn’t just making it all up – he sometimes sings about some things that sometimes actually occur. Likewise in non-telly life, if you just passed a sign that said ‘Asparagus Next Left’. It’s not a PBR. Tell us about the dastardly dealings you encountered down that particular dirt track and then it becomes a PBR.’

Here’s the opening to this section

‘You know those moments when something happens and it immediately brings to mind a Half Man Half Biscuit lyric?’

an example of which, though a bad example, is given by chris at the end of this introductory paragraph, ‘Particularly good ones would be two or three references occurring together in majestic harmony, rather than “I sat behind a Chinese student on the number three bus the other day and he was carrying a Ken Hom Wok Set” ‘

see that would not be a particularly good one, but it still is one, as a PBR is just a reference, strong or weak.

Anyway glad that Mal’s injunction was roundly ignored and things continued in the same vein. (And yes i was annoyed just because i had mentioned an asparagus sign in an earlier posting, but really, it’s the principle!)

Not sure if this is the most conventional Lollipop Man, but he’s definately called Darren

http://www.redbullracing.com/cs/Satellite/en_INT/Article/The-First-Time-I%E2%80%A6-Held-The-Lollipop-In-A-Pit-Stop-021242990562393

I concur Vendorof. Be nice to separate the wheat-based PBRs (Hobnobs?) from the chaff (Marie?).

I understand the frustration as a real beaut (i.e….er i just looked but couldn’t find one) is much better than a bog-standard mention of a mentioned (i.e. pretty much all of them), but i just didn’t like the dogma.

Goat safely back on the hearth.

There is a band playing in a Northampton pub on Saturday going by the name of The Rollright Stones. Is this a reference to HMHB or are these the mentioned band in 24 Hour Garage People?

If I go will I have my shed burned down?

Thanks for that Quack Nostrum Vendor, I should have checked the references on the official site before posting! I was assuming some kind of Rolling Stones tribute!

I’m just compiling a stat sheet on Montenegro and for Stevan Jovetic have put “hair like Brian May.”

Okay, this REALLY isn’t a PBR by any description that I can think of, but I can’t find an appropriate page on which to post. Does anybody else find that this site sometimes seems to be stuck in a timewarp on July 7th? When it first happened I thought nobody was posting anything for a week, then it corrected itself but since then it has reverted back to how it was on July 7th for a while every few days. Since nobody else has mentioned it I guess I’m alone, but I don’t get any such problems with any other site.

On a brighter note, I did at least manage to work around ProbePlus’s ordering page and place an order successfully, despite managing on the way to fill three different baskets which I couldn’t then empty.

I had the same problem. The post that was at the top was something about a missing ellipsis. I thought it was just my computer.

That’s the one Neil G. I feel better for that.

Tindersticks are playing at Warwick Arts Centre in October.

Haha, after spelling out my own laugh I notice that on the Bland one’s sporting & showbiz autographs website there is regrettably no Tindersticks memorabilia for sale, despite their forthcoming and clearly much-anticipated appearance in the area. But there is a Hamilton Bland memorabilia swimming pool (or at least a signed photo of Michael Phelps in a pool), as well as a signed photo of someone in a Brazilian number ten shirt and diverse Sting, U2, etc items amongst other attempts to cash in on the Biscuit references.

Mr. Bland really is quite fond of money, isn’t he?

Pity the article didn’t comment on the reliability of the cashpoint or the chlorine levels at said leisure centre.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/8743065/Tourist-complains-about-sight-of-fish-in-harbour.html

C’mon, man up, you’re in Ilfracombe?

I fondly believed that the slightly haunted “WTF now?” expression on Brad Friedel’s face throughout Match of the Day Two tonight was still entirely due to the memory of being played “I Went to a Wedding” on Football Focus a few years ago.

But it turned out to be because he did know what was coming musically this time -a horrific montage of grizzled forty-something goalkeepers, set to Clive Dunne’s “Grandad”.

.

Had 2 on the train down to Leamington. Just outside Newcastle I heard the announcement ‘and in a few minutes our trolley will be round with tea, coffee, sandwiches, pastries, snacks, soft and alcohol drinks and much much more’. Naturally I had to ask about the much much more and immediately apologised for it whilst laughing. as I got off at Leamington so too did a fella with a Harry Quinn bike, found it all very strange but had me convinced I was in for a good trip.

I did genuinely want a Dukla Prague away kit circa 1985 and if my mother’s claim that the landscape gardener my parents hired to do up our garden around that time was the father of one of the original biscuits (who helped with the work) is true …….it would probably still be a coincidence.

I’ve just been spammed:

“Hello
This is Bob and I will like to order ( Wheel Cover )Do get back to me
with the types and cost for the ones you do carry and let me know if
there is an extra cost when using visa or maser Card.Kindly get back
to me with your name Are you the sales manager or the Owner?
Regards….
Bob Wilson”

Yesterday my boss asked me if I’d heard ‘Standing in the Road’ by Blackfoot Sue. I’m writing this whilst on a bus replacement service.

Do you live near Bounds Green Gordo?

it seems N13 is a hotspot for HMHB fans

My favourite band had an information service. Years later after they split two of them formed their own band and I ran their information service, although I called it an ‘info co’.

In fairness to the former it was Madness, so they were able to abbreviate down to MIS, which was chosen because it looked similar to MI5 and they wanted to make it look like a secret service that was issuing bulletins to fans.

I’m not winning you over am I? This was 1980.

If it helps I would like to point out that anyone sending an SAE to their original PO Box would still get a personal reply from guitarist Chrissy Boy, until some time last decade when he moved to Brighton.

Oh yeah and on the enamel badges members were sent it was mispelt Madness Imformation Service. Someone should have checked it out.

These days Madness can’t use the information service themselves as the name has been taken on and is used by two separate fan groups, one English and one French.

New Southgate anyone?

@ The Jogging Mosher

Blimey that’s four of us within a couple of square miles. We should organise an evening of pints and pedantry at the Queen’s Arse & Firkin or Banister & Shamrock.

New Southgate is somewhere you wouldn’t wanna get stuck,
That can’t be found in the Domesday Book,
Cromwell’s troops never billeted there,
Dick Turpin never had Bess shoed where

it’s just a rebranded Arnos Grove

@john anderson – surely it should be the Occassional Half

Once you start you can’t stop…

You could have learned that nearly 3 years ago in the thread for that song

(sorry I’m extra twattish when I’ve just lost money on an injury-time winner).

Fans of “D list Paul Ross” will be gratified to see 404 reviews of the “Box Canvas Print” – and now a snip at £2,500 – on Amazon. It is good to see true talent recognised!

(See here for original reference – Ed)

Got caught out this week. I put the bins out on the wrong day – our council have changed bin day from Wednesday to Thursday and I couldn’t be arsed to read the leaflet that dropped on the doormat along with the other assorted bumpf we don’t ask for but get with alarming regularity.

My my.

Peel Day, seven years on, and I’m listening to some random old Peel shows on cassette.

‘I’ve said it before, a national treasure, there’s no question about it. When I die, I want them to be buried with me.’ – 14 October 1996

‘Half Man Half Biscuit, every song title a potential t-shirt.’ – 14 October 1996

‘As I’ve mentioned before, in a decently ordered society members of Half Man Half Biscuit would be routinely carried shoulder high through the streets of every city they visited.’ – 10 July 1997

‘Well, I have to say, if I did the lottery, which I don’t do, but if I won it, I should set aside a great sum of money to ensure that Half Man Half Biscuit never had to worry about money again, and could just go on making records: really for the rest of my life, and hopefully for the rest of theirs as well.’ – 07 October 1999

TV’s former Voice of Swimming Hamilton Bland was on the news yesterday, talking about holes in the road. Seems he’s now an expert in this matter after suing Coventry council over damage to his motor-car.

Now my missus is left-footed and subsequently there are always various Catholic knick-knacks randomly placed about our home.
So imagine my surprise and joy when I noticed an A6 card poked under the frame of a family photograph in the kitchen containing the more serious version of the poem FOOTPRINTS.
As I read through its contents, I noted that Nigel had only altered it from 1st to 3rd party and changed the reason for the absent footprints.
Having access to an art studio at work I couldn’t resist making a copy with the HMHB version and swapping it over to see if anybody noticed.
Well the art people did a cracking job and whilst considering the best method of replicating the card I was inspired to just print the new version on the back of the original.
I really couldn’t believe how good a good job this turned out to be.
Check this out for the “before and after” pictures.
It’s only been a few days since I perpetrated the exchange and so far so good.
I now expect this to remain unnoticed for years and look forward to sniggering everytime I see it.
I shall certainly refer to it in future low points of my life.

Excellent work! I’m sure it would be appreciated if the second image could click through to a high-res version. Wouldn’t want that effort to not get used more widely – Chris

Found myself saying “is that our phone ringing or is it on the telly?” last night. It turns out that it was on the telly. Coronation Street if you must know.

Reading this review of Billing Aquadrome, I’d only got to the end of the first paragraph before I guessed that they were lying to me, they were lying to me on their review.

ref footprints

right i’ve got the art boys to add a link at the bottom left to a pdf.
so anyone who wants a copy can now print it out at what ever size they like in high quality

http://www.iffyton.co.uk/hmhb/flyer.html

where can i find that

I was listening to 90 Bisodol (Crimond) for the first time the other day whilst driving to Ilfracombe. Due to time restrictions, I was sorry I had to bypass “checking out the Quantocks” but was hugely consoled by hearing the mention of Ilfracombe on the latest record, just as I was passing the entrance to the Combe Martin Wildlife & Dinosaur Park. (Don’t know which song it was, I’d have had to put my readers on to check and possibly caused a crash.)

Off to Dali’s party perchance?

No joke, as soon as I posted my “PBR”, within 10 seconds, I switched over to Yahoo news (not Chess), and immediately happened upon this article:

http://news.yahoo.com/ireland-close-embassies-vatican-2-others-200138342.html

Quite a broadside.

HMHB and PWEI releasing albums at the same time.

PWEI publicising their new offering by sitting on the Soccer AM couch, when one of them says he supports Arsenal. Helen Chamberlain asks if he’s always supported Arsenal. He goes pale, stutters and then blurts out “I never supported Liverpool!”

They show a clip of him on the show from some years earlier in which he responded to the “Who do you support?” question with the answer “Ipswich Town”.

Rock and roll is indeed full of bad wools…..(as much as I love PWEI and Mary Byker (for it was him)).

Mick

So did anyone else have Zuider Zee In the November Handicap at Doncaster?